A MODEL TRAVELLER.

Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3126, 24 February 1879, Page 4

A MODEL TRAVELLER.

Messrs Van Dish and Co., the wellknown warehousemen of Wellington, were in need of a commercial traveller a few weeks ago, and in reply to an advertisement inserted by them in the daily papers, they received a large number of applications for the position. The various epistles received from applicants would, if published, form a very entertaining volume, ranging, as their contents did, from " grave to gay, from lively to severe." Some of the writers exhibited the utmost contempt for orthography, whilst others displayed a decided preference for Chinese hieroglyphics as opposed to .AngloSaxonised Latin characters. The majority of the applicants were as profuse in their self-laudations, as persons placed in similar circumstances generally are. There was one gentleman, however, whose epistle evidenced such rare tact, such deep discernment, such an insight into the " ways that are dark,.and the tricks which are vain," in connection with clerks and offices, that. I am tempted to let a portion of it see light. After " blowing his own trumpet" in a manner that would put to the blush any member of the Government, the writer goes on to remark j "And now, gentlemen, let me tell you what a commercial traveller should be. He should be as circumspect as a diplomatist, as cute as a Cabmet Miniuster, and as cunning as a lawyer. He should be a man who can see through a customer at a glance, and understand the subtle workings of the human character. He should be a man who, when entering a store where he saw a big order slicking out, would not hesitate for a moment in stooping down to kiss the shopkeeper's dear little three-year eld, though the pretty cherub's sweet little nose might be under the influences of mad pies and a bad cold at the time. He should be a man who would always keep his tongue in his cheek before the commen office clerks, and impart all business wrinkles to his employers alone. He should be a man of a soft, unctious, insinuating address, and a genteel appearance. He should be the possessor of a good baritone voice, so that he may be able to sing a duet with a good customer's wife or daughter when he is invited to tea up country. In short, gentlemen, he should be a model man built up specially for the business, and I have the confidence to assert that I am that man." And yet the stupid firm of Van Dish and Co. were too short-Bi'ghted to engage this paragon of a traveller. Sicest vita, my boy.—Saturday Advertiser.