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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2145, 18 November 1875, Page 3

Hanner's Wit. — A gentleman in Vallego had a habit of walking in his sleep. One night his good wife resolved that she would compel him to discontinue the unpleasant custom, or kill him in the attempt. After he had lain down and gone deeply into dreams, she tied a cord to his anile, and the other end of the same she looped about a standing shot gun heavily charged with leaden pellets, intended for the buoyant duck or the fleeting rabbit. Shortly he woke, stared blankly at his wife with the look of a gate-post very much in, earnest, and said with deliberate precision:—"Hanner, I'm agoin' to get up!' 1 There was no reply. "Hanner," lie repeated, "I remarked that I'm agoin' to rise." Hannah counterfeited a - profound and tranquil slumber. The gentleman slid his feet sideways out of the bed and stood erect;

the wife merely crawled stealthily under the mattress, and awaited the result. Muttering a half- articulate anathema I against women "as wouldn't take no ( interest in anything a feller done," the | head of the family strode forward upon ' his aimless mission. There was a ring ng clatter as Jof something pitched prone I upon the floor, a scuffling, dragging sound, as of the same thing jerked violently forward, and two. deafening explosions blending into a sullen roar, which , gradually died away with an accompaniment of jinglingglassandrattling crockery. The woman came out of her concealment with the smile of angel. There stood her lord and master in garb of standard brevity, with gun-hampered leg, livid and wrath and-sound a^ake. He parted his lips and spoke slowly, earnestly, and in words following :—•'■' Now, Hanner, you'n me've lived together as man aW wife agoin' on 17 years. Dooring that time I've been a-faithful husban'. You never had a faithfuller, an' you know it. But darn yer jokes; I am tired on em ! Ef yer sense o' yumer is never apoin' to get well, you'n me's gotter part. I haint fit fur to be husband to such a derned witty woman, and I think I'll jest quit tryin' to be. Hanner, yer free!" Severing the conjugal tie at his ankle, the injured husband marched into another apartment.— American paper. It was midnight when Mr Berger, of Macon, Ga, discovered a coloured preacher in his stable untying a horse, and the preacher only observed, "Jess what I said all the time, Mistah Berger: your hoss is bay, sure enuff, and dat 'spute between me an' Brudder Jackson is settled.