JUMPING KNAVES.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2083, 7 September 1875, Page 2

JUMPING KNAVES.

(To tha Editor of the.Evening Star.)

Sir, —I see by the papers that mean skunk of a jumper is abroad again, he has evidently been lying wait for some industrious, plodding, . self-denying, individual to strike something gdofly so as he could pounce down on them and see if he could nab them legally or otherwise. When I say self-denying I have no doubt that there are several shareho'ders who have denied themselves many comforts; and even the common necessaries "of life, in order to be able to pay the call in the Union Beach so as to enable the work to go on. Then, just as their labours and self-denials seem likely to be crowned with success, to have a mean despicable wretch like tliis trying to nab them is enough to make one lose all faith in humanity. But what I more particularly want to know of you, Mr Editor, itf,do you think there is a lawyer in all this fair province sunk so low as to take the case in hand for such a reptile; if there is, I would suggest a more lucrative employment for him, and that is, to hire himself out to some doctors,, and they could send him round to their patients that require an emetic, for if the sight of him would not be enough to turn a horse sick lam a Dutchman; bah! the bare thought of him makes me sick. No^ wonder thegoldfields are languishing for the want of capital.

I hope you will insert these few remarks, Mr Editor, and oblige

A Lover of Less Law and More Justice. .

P.S.—ls this celebrated jumper the same individual that the natives palled out of the swamp at the Mania whon he was nearly dead with the horrors, if so, it is a pity. ; -

Meddle Not with Another's Hiccups.—A young gentleman had been told that a suddenshock or fright would euro the hiccups, and the other evening, while he was studying ..his lesson, for the morrow by drawing a picture of the sehoalrna'am on his slate, his respectedI progenitor was seized with a fit of hiccups; The old gentleman was tilted ! back in his chair, with his feet restingroh the top of the stoye, and the young hopeful concluded to try the cure on him. Just.as the old man was "rastling " with a heartbreaking "hie," the boy jumped aqd yelled " Fire !" The old man was just getting out " cvp —cup," but he never got it out. He gave a jump which tilted over the chair, and in endeavouring to regain his lost equilibrium, his feet flew up against the, table, upsetting it and a student-lamp which stood upon it, and his head landed in the ashes on the stove hearth. The old lad^, hearing the racket, came running in from the kitchen, and tripped over the old man's prostrate form, knocking down a whatnot with a' lot of glass and china ornaments. When that boy's father arose from the wreck, and shook the ashes and splinters of glass out of his hair and clothes, he was cured of the hiccups, but there was a look of sternness in his eye. The boy can't play tag now, and he si:s on the edge of the scat at school, and lies on his front when in bed, and silently murmurs that the old man can hiccup his old head off before he will try to cure him: again.—The Hub. Hard Up.—A very tall darkey entered the rooms of the Relief Society in Washington the other day and inquired— "Does you give out provisions heah?' " Yes, we aid the poor here," replied the agent, ■" what do you want most?' 1 "Wall, my heart is sot on a spring chicken," replied the darkey, " but if de chicken is out, I'll lake a can of isters and two pounds of butter. I isn't grcine tobe capshus, cause it's hard times."