SPEAKING TERMS.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2018, 23 June 1875, Page 3

SPEAKING TERMS.

By M. or N. " To be wroth with one we love . f Doi,h work like madness in the bram. i Society has fixed no limit to the time ] during which two human beings who have met casually at a friend's house, or had a chance introduction in the street, shall remain on speaking terms. Ihe acquaint-ance-may never ripen into anything..more than a passing nod, a remark on the weather, or a "How do you do? to which no answer Js over expected ; but* once having met, both sides are able to say thenceforth for ever after that they arc outspeaking terms. , The introduction forms the connecting link which enables us with, propriety to jerk our heads, or talk about the weather, .with those whom we will never know, or care to know more of • while the want of that ceremony cornDels usto remain personally with scores ,of people that wo-know intimately But to be not on speaking terms implied much more than a mere negation. As a matter of fact we arc-not on speaking term with any person to whom we have sever spoken. Our next door neighbour A-^ithlwhose^dren)9nrlchildren pky^ Xwho-wift fiaveJtUe fora .quarterJof^the # same lamb for dinner, off whose, hind ' quarter we will gratify our carnivorous desires, with $ c antics of whose Bridget our wife is familiar, and whoscown wife can probably tell to the shirthow many dozen of wasliing Trefeive>ut|-mty he* stranger to uV much as we know of him and. hist but we-do not say.-that we are not on ' speaking terms with him, ,We don t know him; we. have'never; inetj they or we have neglected; to call—we have not, in short, been introduced, But we reserve theMraiie'iibt^ outspeaking ttrms/when we wish to state in a few words that we once knew people, and that; we have fallen '■ out. -:" -1 v ■'■ "■ ' '"■> ";' '„ ,' Those who are not on speaking usually mpre^f^aeh ottier than 6f their ordmary fnends with whom they have not quarrelled. We seldom cease to speak.tof-thpse to whom we are indifferent.-^t as often as not the very excess of our friendship, or thenearnes3 of our relationship, that puts speaking terms out of tho question. A dispute or a disagreement between two who have known each other long and intimately cannot be carried on with the - coolness and temper that comparative Btrangers would show- -B-aeh no* oniv thinks the other wrong in the matter m dispute, but doubly wrong not to acknowkdge'it honestly,-and do jus-friend justice; and thus the friendship that Sould have prevented the falling, out adds so to the.sense.of injury they both feel that nothing remains for them but to cease speaking altogether. . - The causes that produce breaches of old friendships or,.quarrels between relatives are usually of ajudicrously msuffioient nature.,-1 have known cases where people ceasfid toT)e on speaking terms for no reason that either could assign, and it may be taken as a general rule that the lesi tangible cause/there-is-for a,quarrel, the more difficult the reconciliation proves. Every fresh-sun that rise* and sets on our wrath gives it new force, till in the end, what .was nothing but a simple estrangement becomes an active enmity. Kach, know* *nat f the other,would forgive and forget if the hand we extended as of ▼•re; but because pride prevents either from proffering it, both consider their grievance intensified 'by itf'bemg with- *' It' is a' very sad- time- in- a household when a husb,and and wife are not on speaking terms. We may be^at feud with: society at large, and yet live in a state of domestic peace, if we sate'friends at home. If our wife remains loyal we are able to defy the world' in 'arms-^the small world that is wade up of our next-door neighbours, our old friends and our visiting acquaintances. We may _ br^ak with every bno 1 we know, and yet be nappy, so, long as we are" certain that a smile and a kindly'greeting awaits us in the sole house in the great universe where we are privileged" to 1 f"*ear slippers/ -Indeed,-toe quarrels with,our friends not/unfrequently become'a'p&sitive pleasure when we think' of the .pleasure with which pur wife will listen 'to flß'details. ' '' * But the history oteyery household, it truly "written/will show its' periods'of domestic strife. .We do, not know .of. the civil wars "that our married friends wage, because the press,is,rigorously excluded. The battles are fought in'private. Ihe killed and wounded affections are secretly,. burieJi, and'sighs uttered in no one's hearing, and. tears dropped, out of every,one k s sight are the only memorials of the contest. Blood may flow, but it is from the heart inwardly, fierce blows may be given and thtustAinterchangedJuthe,pre-, gence of friends, who knowing nothing of tho-,pas*ions, at; work.'beneath.-Jthe palm > surface, never for a moment, suspect that the,-j:ouple ,they see living,together m . such apparent harmony are not even on | speaking terms. ' The-bitterer the.quarrelJ is the more closely do they keep it to j themselves, and-before company each vies with the other in keeping up an exaggerated . appearance of politeness '■> Although not on speaking terms, it is impossible for two'people'to live 1 together in the intimate huaihess relationship of hutband without -occasionally paying 1 " Ttomethvps. But both take care when by th«taßelv«-te 'say »o more "than' 1 they would to a strange lady .or gentleman sittine beside them 1 at the table of a sea-side hotel. Instead of " Fanny, another slice ' of chicken?" it will-be, "Will youalIpw me to assist you to. a little more t or " Will you be kind enough to pass tho ■altP" and eaph belligerept thanks other for the slightest' service rendered, according to the form and manner' prescribed by society'for thanking strangers. Of course, no allusion is made r during the continuance of the estrangement, to tho cause of quarrel. - It is simply because the matter would not bear talking about that they have ceased to be on speaking terms. He feels, that he would say too much'if fee said a W.She knows that itwopl lead to'abroach for life if she unburdened her mind, of all it is full of. Both feel thatrlove is over for ever between them. It is impossible that they can ever even be friends again. AU that they can look forward to now is a lonely cheerless existenpe .passed : in -the enforced coin-: pSonshk, of the conjugal yoke. - Doubta arise in their minds as to the reality of jr flO f the past. «' She never, could have this conduct. I see .clearly, now that my old suspicions abouj ;that fellow were ■ rieht." '•" What-could his motives have . been in marrying me, when he doesn t even affect a pretence of love ? Did he alwayslove another, as, no doubt he does low.h TUe,Wwt.of.earty death has a peculiar , charm for .them just then, and their minds are apt'to dwell with peculiar "complacency on the affecting death-bed

farewell, in which they.) yrill express forgiveness for the misery and anguish they have been made to suffer. In the midst of these gloomy thought*, and when life has become' all but insupportable, a reconciliation takes-place. It is commonly effected by accident. Most married people whom I have questioned on the subject tell me that in the greater number of cases the thing is done without a word. By a simultnneous impulse missing relations aro restored, and in that ; moment all the doubts, the. suspicions, I and they unkind thoughts brought into | being and nursed and hugged tight to the jealous heart disappear »s if by magic, ': and they are abio to laugh at their absurd fancies as one can on waking at the horrible dream that seemed so real a few minutes before. The original cause-of quarrel is seldom mentioned agaia In all probabili'y it was nothing worth 1 bafing a single angry word about, and i they are both too well satisfied •'t pea^e i being restored to hazard it by a rofprrtfde '■to the sore point. As they ombrace with , all the fervor of their cai'ly married days, the recollection of the misery they have, just endured is too fresh to allow them ftotalkofit, and at'the end of a week they have pretty nearly forgoHon the reason why they had ceased being on spealcable terms. —Australasian.