RADIO

Timaru Herald, Volume CXLV, Issue 21216, 10 December 1938, Page 10

RADIO

ON TL?J BROADCAST BAND

There IS something in a name. Carson Robeson’s Pioneers, now heard on ZB programmes, are the same people as his Buckaroos, but what a difference. The Pioneers are straight vocalists of their peculiar type, but the Buckaroos are made offensive by "Howdy foaks, this us Carson Robeson atarking tyer." The N.B.S. blundered when it bought the Buckaroo records instead of the Pioneers.

For about three years talks styled ‘‘At Home and Abroad” and commentaries on "News behind the News” have been given over the Australian National circuit. The identity of the broadcaster has been concealed behind the microphone name “The Watchman,” but it is now revealed that the speaker is E. A. Mann, formerly a member of the Federal House of Representatives representing Perth. These talks have attracted fairly widespread attention, more because they are "frank and fearless” than because the author is authoritative.

For years the 8.8. C. and the British Government took no steps to combat broadcast propaganda. The unrest in Palestine led to special grammes on the short-wave, but these were regarded as additional to the ordinary activities of the corporation, devised to meet a special position, and were not a part of a general policy. Lately the corporation has amended all its programmes to provide for news bulletins in foreign languages for reception in Europe. These are put on the air over a variety of wave-lengths ranging from 1500 metres to 25 metres, 12 distinct transmitters being employed daily. These European broadcasts give the news in French, German and Italian. There is another special service for Britons abroad in Europe, news bulletins being provided four times daily.

David Low, the New Zealand cartoonist, famous for his brilliant work in London, is to broadcast to New Zealand on December 12 at 9.15 a.m., Greenwich M.T. It will be his first Empire broadcast since 1934, when he spoke on his experiences in art. Low will b» heard as a contributor to the series of talks "As I See It,” which means that he will say what he thinks about a subject of his own choosing. It is a broadcast that should interest a wide audience, because, for once people will have a chance of hearing a spoken, instead of a sketched, answer to a question that is asked in London every week. “What does Low' think about it?” It was a weekly newspapei' in Christchurch that first published—and paid half-a-crown for— Low’s work. To-day he is 47. He was born in Dunedin, and was 11 years old when the Christchurch weekly bought his cartoon. But that early triumph did not convince his parents that they had an artist in the family, and young David was trained for the Church!

It is extraordinary how the illusion persists that listeners get the programmes of commercial radio stations for nothing. Listeners do not pay directly, but they pay, and pay dearly, as purchasers of advertised goods. They pay dearly because it seems to be one of the cardinal principles of commercial station control that two men must be used to perform the same work as is done by one on a national station. About two years ago it was asserted that the revenue of Australia’s advertising stations was a million and a half. That was probably an exaggeration, but as the number of stations has increased the figure may be reached this year. There are Just over a million receivers licensed in the Commonwealth, so that it is obvious that, Indirectly, £l/10/- is paid for each o 4 these for commercial programmes, more than <s paid in license fees for Nationals, in New Zealand, radio advertising totals possibly £lOO.OOO, and based on 300,000 sets the average works out at approximately 6/8. but here the money to install the commercial service was borrowed from the fund created by license fees, and it is safe to assume that losses will be borne by the same fund. New Zealand pays particularly dearly for its commercial programmes, as it takes nearly three times the staff to run 3ZB as is employed on 3YA.

The young Auckland basso, Oscar Natzke, has been engaged by the Australian Broadcasting Commission to tour the Commonwealth next year, and no doubt New Zealand will be included in his itinerary. John McCormick’s retirement will scarcely be noticed in this part of the world, as his voice will be preserved on records, which incidentally will continue to bring him in royalties for a long time to come. It was fortunate, too, that Australian record-makers put Sydney McEwan on the discs, as the young Scotsman has entered a seminary to study for the priesthood. Stockholm forbids the use of “loud speakers” between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m., and Copenhagen will not allow excessive volume after 10 p.m. An interesting case is reported from Belgium. There is apparently no regulation for dealing with reproduction which becomes a nuisance, but one set owner who persisted in loud reproduction was held to be giving a public performance, and, therefore, liable to copyright royalties to the composers whose works were being "broadcast.” Artur Schnabel is to visit Australia next winter, and a radio critic in a city paper is emphatic in urging that, although it might mean dipping deep into N.B.S. resources, Schnabel should be brought to New Zealand. Why? It would cost hundreds of pounds, to give the majority of listeners a performance inferior to that obtainable any day for a few shillings. A Schnabel recording is made under better conditions, and on a better instrument, than could be provided in a New Zealand studio or theatre. The ZB stations are running "Hymns of all Churches,” recordings which have achieved some popularity in Australia. Needless to say they are from America, and the vocalist is Joe Emerson. Another and perhaps better hymn series now heard from Sydney has as its theme song "Little Brown

Church in the Vale." John Davis tells the story of the hymn, and John Seagle, a plaintive baritone, sings it. They are on 2CH each Sunday at 11.15. Features of this “Hymns of my Childhood" type appear to make a wide appeal, and it is unfortunate that we have to go to America for them.

In a recent broadcast, the new British Broadcasting Corporation directorgeneral said that the aim of the corporation in its Home programmes of sound and television, its Empire programmes and its broadcasts in foreign languages was public service and the interests of peace. It would be agreed that broadcasting and television were gifts in trust from science and that therefore freedom of the air was something precious. It therefore followed that as a monopoly it was the duty of the corporation to aim at doing all it could to meet the very varied tastes and needs of people at Home and to contribute internationally to mutual understanding and so to the peace of the world. The broadcasting service was not a machine: it was people working for people, actors, debaters, musicians, engineers, craftsmen and news editors, to give to listeners the varied programmes broadcast.

The British Broadcasting Corporation, in addition to the magnetic wire recording machine, ,operates other systems. The Phillips-Miller sound recording system is in use at the auxiliary studios at Maida Vale, London. In this, sound is recorded on film in very much the same way as for talking pictures. The equipment is every bit as elaborate as a medium sized transmitter. It includes a double turn-table for recording and reproducing, a battery of amplifiers mounted in racks along with power supply, rectifiers and a developing system. The whole method is based on the same system as the sound track of the talkies, but the demands of broadcasting have necessitated a speeding up of the process and a mode of editing, cutting and playing back of the recorded film. The system gives superior reproduction, and a permanent record that is not adversely affected by use.

Believe it or Not Explorer: “A tiger will not harm you if you carry a white walkingstick.” Voice: “Yeah, but how fast must you carry it ” Unconscious Humour Advertisement in an Irish newspaper: “For sale, second-hand motor hearse with brand-new body.” "How did you get on with Bertie?” “He behaved like a perfect gentleman.” “I found him rather dull, too.” True to Type Green: “Our vegetarian friend. Brown, has been true to his principles.” White: "What has he done now?” Green: “He’s run away with a grass widow." Knowing the Reason Said one man to another: “I thought you said that when you married you. would be master’ in your own house or know the reason why." “I did." “Well?" “I know the reason why.” Obviously The battery sergeant-major dashed up to the lieutenant in a state of great agitation. “Oh, sir,” he exclaimed, “the enemy are gathering as thick as peas. What shall we do?” The lieutenant glared. “Shell them, you idiot!” he snapped. "Shell them!” Just Right They stood in front of the jeweller’s shop. She (coaxingly): “Darling, look at that lovely diamond ring.” He: "Yes, dear. If ever I have to refuse you a diamond ring, it will be one like that." “In and Out" Actors like acting at an open-air theatre. They are in work when they are out. Choral! Assistants in a big grocery firm have started a choir. They already know their scales. No Apology A Parliamentary candidate called on the editor of one of the local papers and said: “I notice you describe my speeches as ‘the insane drivellings of a played-out politician.’ ” "I’m sorry," replied the editor, "there must have been a misprint. The word I used was ‘inane.’ ” Buckled The patron tried to cut up his steak. After digging into it a dozen times with his knife and fork he summoned the waiter. "Here,” he growled, “take this steak back." “I can’t do that, sir,” said th” waiter. “Why not?” demanded the customer. “You’ve bent it!” was the reply. Playing Safe The class was being examined in general knowledge. % "If you were alone in a motor-car on a lonely road,” said the examiner, “and were being chased by another car, travelling at 50 miles an hour, what would you do?” “Sixty!” replied a puzzled but hopeful candidate. The First Step Jock met his friend Sandy in the street. “Sandy,” he said, “I wonder if you could oblige me with a cigarette.” “But I though you said you’d stoppit smokin’?” said Sandy, reluctantly. “Aye, weel,” replied Jock. "I’ve reached the first stage. I’ve stoppit buying them.” Howlers "Caesar was a Roman Admiral who landed in Britain about 54 B.C. but he had a tough struggle, and it was not until A.D. 45 that he really made peace. Caesar was warned to beware of the Ideas of March.” “Disraeli was the first British statesman to become a film star.” “The Royal Mint is used by the King at meals.”

“Matterhorn was a horn blown by the ancients when anything was the matter.” Candid The president of the school board, being of a conscientious nature, made it a point to visit all the schoolrooms frequently. In each room he would give a little talk, in an effort to interest the children in the everyday things of life. On one such occasion he was telling them of the blacksmith. “And what kind of arm has the blacksmith?” he asked. "Big!” shouted the children. V.nd why is the blacksmith's arm bigger than mine?” "He works!” came the reply. Daredevil “Papa, when you see a cow aren’t you afraid?” "Of course not, Evelyn.” “When you see a great big worm, aren't you afraid?” “No, of course not.” “When you see a horrid monstrous buinble-bee, aren't you afraid?" "No, certainly not!” “Aren't you afraid when it thunders and lightnings?” "No, no, you silly child.” “Papa, aren't you afraid of nothing in this world ’ceptin’ mamma?” Practical Help The milk dray collided with a motorlorry, and many bottles of milk were broken. A crowd gathered. “Poor fellow, you will have to pay for this accident, won’t you?” asked a sympathetic man. “Yes, sir,” said the driver. “That’s too bad,” was the reply. Here is a shilling towards it, and I'll pass the hat for you.” After the crowd had contributed the driver said to a bystander: “Ain't he a wise guy That’s the boss.” An Apt Retort “You naughty, cruel boy!" said the fashionably-dressed woman to the youngster she found despoiling a bird’s nest. “How can you be co heartless as to take those eggs?” The boy made no reply, and merely went on with his task. “But think of what the poor mother bird will feel when she comes back and finds—” The lad Interrupted. “That’s all right,” he said. “The mother bird is dead.” "How do you know?” queried the woman. " ’Cos I can see 'er on yer 'at,” said the boy.

Lump of Life A girl in Edinburgh got a pearl out of an oyster. A girl in London got a pearl out of a financier. Both Ways A London bus had just stopped and the conductor, looking across the road, noticed a man awaiting a bus going suburb-wards. He was apparently a musician, as he was holding a harp with one hand. In the other hand, however, he had a new garden spade. “Oy, George!” bawled the conductor to a newsvendor standing on the pavement. “Look at this bloke; ’e’s backed ’imself both ways!”

A Drawback Binks: What does your father say about your becoming an artist? Hinks: I musn’t draw on him. “Low!” Said the pilot-instructor, “To-morrow you will fly solo.” Said the pupil, “How low?” The Real Truth “Nobody will ever know the real truth about Russia,” declares a novelist. Tliis is a direct challenge to the numbers of other writers who have already revealed it. Her Turn New A city business man has just married his typist. Now it’s her turn to do the dictating. “In the Neck” A man has been criticised for saying he had found a cure for rheumatism. He got it in the neck. Before and After Two lovers walking down the street; She trips. He murmurs, “Careful sweet.” Now wed, they tread that selfsame street; She trips. He growls, “Pick up your feet.” Some Bargain He eyed his friend’s car critically. “How much did you pay for that?” “Well, to tell you the truth, I didn’t pay anything. A pal of mine gave it to me.” “There you are—l told you you’d get caught!” Still Kicking “I hear that Edith has married an old man with one foot in the grave.” “She thought she had.” “Why, isn’t it true?” “Well, she told me only yesterday that he had just bought himself another new pair of boots.” Trivial “Ever been in a train smash?” asked one man of another. “Well,” replied his friend, “I can’t say that I remember one.” “You can’t remember?” “Why, no. You see, after you’ve been married for seventeen years you soon forget such trifles!”

Long Wait “Waiting for a tram-car buddy ” “Yes. I am.” “Well, I’d be the last man to interfere with anybody’s fun but this tram line stopped running in 1929.” Nice Change “That dog you gave me is impossible? Yesterday he ran into the kitchen and ate up all the food he could find.” “Not everything, surely?” “All except the dog biscuits.” Oh, Yes! Bachelor: I understand that a wife is a great help to a man? Benedict: Rather. She stands by him in all the trials and sorrows that he would not have had if he had not married her. Out of the Past The orderly officer received a complaint about the issue of bread. “Soldiers should not make a fuss about trivialities, my man,” he said. “If Napoleon had had that bread when he was crossing the Alps’ he’d have eaten it with delight.” “Yes, sir,” said the lance-corporal, “but it was fresh then.”

Cat! “My maid is to marry a bailiff.” “How exciting. I presume that she met him at your house?” Encouraged Her a Lot A little girl on her first day at school, was found by one of the teachers in tears. “Why, dear,” asked the sympathetic lady, “what’s the matter?” “They tell me,” said the child between her sobs, “that I shall have to stay here until I’m fourteen.” Teacher patted her on the shoulder. “Cheer up,” she said gently, “you’re better off than I am. Just think, I have to stay here until I’m sixty-five.”

Cash Customer “Is it true chat this store sells everything from a packet of pins to an aeroplane?” “Quite true, madam.” “Well, a packet of pins, please.” Explanation The old lady and her small granddaughter were at the cricket match when it started to rain and the players had to run for shelter. “Fancy a little shower like that stopping the game!” complained the child. “Well, my dear,” explained Grannie, “only three of them were wearing mudguards.” Foiled A doctor and dentist in Aberdeen were intimate friends, but neither knew, the age of the other. At last the dentist died, and the doctor though he would now be able to ascertain his friend’s age. He attended the funeral, approached the coffin, and looked at the brass plate. This is what it read— Angus McLeod. Dentist. (Hours 10-4.) Bad Judgment The prisoner was brought into court and charged with stealing a spade. The Magistrate peered at him through his glasses, and then addressed him slowly: “You are charged with having stolen a spade—what have you to say to this charge?” Confidently the prisoner replied: “Your worship, I can bring a hundred witnesses who did not see me take it.” “Er?” said the Magistrate, “Eh? Didn’t see you take it—well, in that case you are discharged.” The Road to Success Chaos reigned in the High Street as the tram left the rails, to come to rest with its front platform over the pavement. Pedestrians fled to avoid a falling lamp-post, while the driver remained, calm and resolute, at the controls. A policeman hurried up, notebook in hand. “It’s all right,” said the conductor, jerking his thumb towards the driver, “my mate’s been taking an efficiency course, and they told him to get out of the groove.”

Millions of Them A coster, pushing a handcart o: shrimps, was confronted by a pompom member of Parliament in his car anc roughly ordered to get out of the way “Get out of the road yourself,” returned the coster. “You don’t know who I am, evi dently,” said the other. “I have M.P at the end of my name!” “So has every shrimp in this ’en barrel’ of mine,” was the retort. Sandy and the Minister The minister was annoying tin parish by neglecting his parochia duties because of an unaccountabL mania for poultry-fanning he had de veloped. At the county show he won ever; prize, and was standing by his pen looking very pleased with himself whei Sandy sauntered up. “Well, Sandy,” the minister re marked, “not bad for a beginner Jus look at all these prizes.” “Oh, aye, ye’ve gotten some prize richt enough,” said Sandy grimly, “bu if ye wad put as much work on you parish as ye dae on your poultry you congregation wad be crawin’ tae.”

New Species First Picnicker: I feel a lethargy creeping over me. Second Picnicker: Yes, the grass is full of them. Grit! “Who buys up all the tons of grit dug from gravel pits?” wonders a' reader. Most of it is probably snapped up by spinach salesmen. Of Course “He had to pull a few strings to get his job.” “What was the job?” “Harpist.” Free Call “So you believe in free speech?” asked the Irishman of the Scotsman. Whereupon the Scotsman said, “Yes, can I use your, telephone?” Someone to Lean on Young Man: Will you marry me? Heiress: No, I’m afraid not. Young Man: Oh, come on! Be a support. Game Mrs Newlywed: Guess what I’ve | cooked for your dinner. Mr Newlywed: I’ll try. Let me see it. Undoubtedly “What do you think about a natiox. under arms?” “Well, I should say it’s a ticklish position.” No Chance Tourist: Haven’t I seen your face : somewhere else before? i Villager: No. It’s always been where I it is now. Words Failed ! Page: I’ve had a nasty fall. In trying to reach a shelf I stood on some ( dictionaries and they gave way. Sage: So words failed you. Urgently Required Small Boy: Mummy, I saw some trousers in a shop window to-day marked “Impossible to beat.” Do you think you could persuade daddy to get them for me? Blunt Truth Admirer (to young Willie): And was my present a surprise to your sister? ■Willie: You bet! She said she never thought that you would send her anything so cheap! Why He Objected Daughter: But why do you object to my becoming engaged, daddy? It is because of my youth? Father: Yes, my girl. I think he’s a little rat. Hot! Husband (in court): The trouble is. your Worship, that she never gives me a hot dinner. Wife: That is untrue. Why, he had i a boiled egg yesterday. Not Yet “Are you unmarried?” inquired the Census-taker. “Oh, dear, no,” answered the lady, l blushing to the roots of her hair, “I’ve never even been married!” No Rest at Home “The doctor advised me to get leave from the office, dear. He says I need a rest.” “What nonsense,” said his wife. “Yes, I told him it’s the only rest I get.” No Alibi “Have you any explanation for wandering around drunk at this time of night?” demanded the policeman. The man answered, “Say, if I had an explanation, I’d have faced my wife 1 half an hour ago!” Bad for Biddy “Biddy, darling.” said Pat. arriving home one pay day, “ ’tis yourself, isn't I it, that’s glad to hear of a man havin’ good luck?” “Indeed Oi am, Pat. Who would it be?” “ ’Tis Barney. He’s won all me I wages.” The Caretaker The amateur gardener was showing | the beauties of his greenhouse. “This,” he said, pointing to a flower, “belongs to the petunia family.” “Does it?” said the sweet young thing. “I suppose you’re minding it while they’re away.” Too Much Mrs Jones: This is too bad. Jones: Why. what’s the mat* Mrs Jones: We’ll have tc ip sending things for that to launder. She's dishonest. ek two towels we brought back >ur hotel at Clacton are missing. No Money Mrs Crump: I hear the Bradleys across the street are going south this winter. I thought they lost all their money? Mrs Grump: They have. That’s the reason they are going. They can wear their summer clothes all winter, you know. The Globe Trotter “What became of your little goldfish?” asked a visitor of a small boy. “Did it die?” “No.” “Poisoned?” “No.” “Then what happened to it?” “It growed into a big goldfish!” Hard Luck The diner in the cheap restaurant gave an exclamation of annoyance. “Anything wrong, sir?” asked the waitress. “Wrong!” he ejaculated. “I should say so. This egg is as hard as a brick.” “Sorry!” replied the waitress. “We used the egg-timer for it.” “Oh!” he growled. “I thought you’d > used a calendar.” Parliamentary Wit In the early eighties there were two Cabinet Ministers who were rivals and . sworn enemies. One rainy day they met face to face on a narrow footpath. To the one who > stepped aside it meant treading in the mud of the road. There was a moment of hesitation. Then, “I never give way to scoundrels,” said one, glowering. i The other smiled. Stepping off the footpath into the mud, he said, “Pass, ' friend. I always do.” Bright z Mr Brown, coal merchant, had spent 3 his first holiday on the Continent. His 1 business acumen was not on holiday, however, and he thought on his re- ■ turn that he would invent a new slogan t for selling his coals and had all his ■ carts repainted. So one day they sals lied forth all bright and new and in t flaming letters on the side of each cart r I was r • BUY BROWN’S COALS - j ALA CARTE OR CUL-DE-SAC