Topics in Brief:

Timaru Herald, Volume CXLII, Issue 20509, 29 August 1936, Page 12

Topics in Brief:

Readers are Invited to furnish for publication in this column, pertinent and witty extracts (the briefer the better), from newspaper and magazine articles, such as: A British enthusiast is promoting a Home for Aged Golfers. They have to be aged, you know, to have much interest in a home.—“Hardioare World.” * * * * Now we know what happens to little boys and girls who never learn their lessons. They grow up and become delegates to all the conferences that are going.—“ The New Yorker” Believe in yourself—but please keep it a secret —“Witty Weekly Record” Another thing that helps to keep the United States in a turmoil is the peculiar attraction that strong lungs have for weak heads.—“Thomaston Times.” You can put most anything into an old fashioned bathing suit, except a modern girl.—“ The Nashville Banner” What to do with the League of Nations is the question now agitating European chancelleries. Why not give it to Haile Selassie as a sort of consolation prize?—“Detroit Free Press.” Current news items say the American political leaders, with an eye to the November elections, arc going l forward with their platforms. Pank, plank, plank, the boys are marching.—“ Norfolk Ledger-Dispatch.” The modern girl would not have nicotine stains on her fingers if she helped her mother wash the dishes.— “Greensborough Herald-Journal.” Training the baby as the book advises is a good idea. All you need is a different book for each baby.—“St. Lovis Star-Times.” A Neto Dealer is the felloio who thinks that even if Justice is blind, none of them ought not to be dumb. —“Dallas Morning News.” A late cable from Rome has big business and 11 Duce’s Government is going forward in perfect accord'. Like Jonah and the Whale.—“ Portland Orogonian.” With the exception of world unrest, a four-year-old garden hose can break out in most places.—“ Richmond Times Despatch.” 1 here’s no need this year for politicians to set out to stump the country —it's already slumped. “Province N ews-Tribune.” Remit Politics: Charging your opponend with saying something he didn't say, and. then denouncing him for saying it.—“ The Drayton Journal”.