WIT AND HUMOUR

Timaru Herald, Volume XIIC, Issue 11997, 4 September 1909, Page 1 (Supplement)

WIT AND HUMOUR

■ He:i*»Tho cpptain,! says'we're hftr&gg and "fast An a rock.' Bbo,(veiy~sickJl|g Thank God I • r - „ Mm® Jeacher :* tell, mo of Abiaham version?,- Teacher: meati ? Johnny,: r Staylaighti Oh, 1 Mis?' WobWns/ffiay Income to see you again Mis> <Wob- - bins': Well. I" sou, you*'i KO, i *&» I'*** frisk <„ houfe*. cleaning' was- over. - Mr Flat-/--leign : v > Why so/dear P, ►Mrs FUi-/,. it dirtiesvC\rerythinjj£up, ; ', "''V , 'V . f ?' , h t made" a'terrible mistake yester-' u dayl" "What was„thatP" "I mad- Tj verteritly asked Green how Ins baby v was getting on, hour and * half answering the quea- <& tip*.;' ..:' ..- * Uv/ i A*" Young- n»n,"«aaid the boss, "cfoino "\, ffither; andliaten.;' „ He mistake forget h it and ~go< on "to the inert 30b. around, alLday adding a lojjf « r, .udd, milhonan-o spiteful tßrife£ *Hk hsr HMUta«L did he 4stK& • "Instead of Playing thqm ? up thajwliam with the wedding march, hj» stnickSop?* \- J, \S *rf "' "After an unkind.remark about coffee his-landlady' asked 'VYou'v© heard* of brieks wi<sb«n£* straw; >haveri»t yott P»» « ¥<»,"/ rffliLrf the* backroom" "It TO #»vs like-my i mattress." j ( !!,>,*' areitooiitivoly tho WwLb conceited man J'ever met./' -Hubhy.;W) I> conceited P ' Woman, there's PjffiflgSj conceited-bon6 in V( my' body* JSnRI another mah with the'same 5 would be absolutely carried away WSm " " i Wfce, Edward,•'» *£&s* 'Umtojb her husband, * jthat Wft>2 employers advertise rfor clerks or amfo% men ,they stipulate «niusti\ba JHTO sorted Edward* men/*W{J are accustomed "to l beihg. lioout!» '"< -, : v 1' ', J ;t ** j. §rM - 'V ,, '\ ■/-. . J;:4 * ■?. U\. ■"» 1 - Jacky- impartmc, minister intormatio4 new sst of faUeTtee^M , 'lndfeoV| blacky," replieoX^thojtimin^r^iMW^ the, oli «#-1*» ph.. swered «H^/^ilM^w(W 4 |Pl3 and make. iWW f ' Ps^ " The LusitaiUa^»m«iri«d.» man who conversation' with'a" yonngllady,' jPkbsl steam hert an' hdWJp «ll suppose" they !sleam: ft w«3Womjra that the noor»>saiWia/ v ctt|^un«e s <»Sm;l nfonr-«a«ilyt" W*that'.«i\ QtarPpfel she inn^njUy. j v«R> l %y*i\B another chocolate 1 iip^ ; ;| An elderly farmer % his wife, and Bi»^iMm^mtnpi>^ the MjfilWfiHl house. "Wen,'* aftel- a long I suppose she4was.^gooa%wj(«ji^w^»i v *| Site was a good cook andfa! keeper, and she kept me ir e "i but, do yon know ho o^cdo**^ 1 liked 'her." iv p^^ A pompous-looking lawyer once tered a hansom cab, and, on lus destination, he only gave Ins dW*g| ver the shilling required by Inw driver looked nt the coin, and bit lip. Then, in a " most _ 1 manner, he .motioned to l cet in again. '"Da step v^*^C|wjH&s v il he laid. "I or two further for/this jfere.'' IXt * l f „, ' V 1' j r I 1 <i She is":likcly to\turn-out a"sple>»-' did busme!>B girl, „to Judge from Tier " attitude when "the souhg "man came , up to the~line with Mb offer of marTineo. * The-dialogue was brief, Tbut pithy. ,l Will you mnrrv meP", asked } man, tenderlv. , And 'tho girl answered not. "Mildred," 'he Continued, " I offer von my heart, my hand, mv love, my devotion, my wholo life" Still she was silent! . A .Nt}., mv proudest ambition"?, mv brightem> honeo, rt vour feet. Will yoii wk, Mildred?" Th«h r aho spokjb, t- " Who owns the business—you or yonlr brrtber"" "I do." "Well, , why f didn't vou say so at first?" ' i