WIT AND HUMOUR.

Timaru Herald, Volume XIIC, Issue 13811, 23 January 1909, Page 1 (Supplement)

WIT AND HUMOUR.

Blobbs: There seems to ,be a strange afUnity between a coloured man and: a chicken. ' , - She': Do you love me as much when you are away from me? .' ' ' , ■ He.,(fervently): I love you more,:dar-; tone (sighing): I wish T could be with vou. then. . . ' ,■' . _ • "Is it true, doctor,'.' asked the summer <nrl, "that eatmg cucumbers willremove freckles:-" "Of course," replied Dr Kidder, "under certain cir- .. cumstanees." " Really! What circumstances ?" " Well, provided the' freckles are on the cucumbers." , It was night. They—he. and were sitting on the porch, looking at , the stars. "You know, I suppose," he whispered, " what a young man's privilege is when he sees a shooting star ?" "No," she answered. " I haven't the slightest idea. There goes one!" "There's some good things in town. this week," said the engaged' girl >yho was hinting for an invitation to the theatre. " Weil," responded Mr Grouch, "I ain't one of 'em." .

Howard: "Did you ever know anyone who was cured by suggestion:'": " Yes. I cured the duke's infatuation for my daughter by suggesting that ho lend me five dollars." Husband: Our little boy is sick, doctor, so please come at once." . Physician: I can't get over much under an hour. Husband: Oh, do, doctor. You see; my wife has a book on " What to Do Before the Doctor Comes," and I'm so afraid she'll do it before you get there! Teacher: Yes, children, when the war broke out, all the able-bodied men who could leave their families enlisted in the army. Now, can any of you tell me what motives took them to the front? Bright Boy (triumphantly): Locomotives. .''»•' "From the grammatical standpoint, said the fair maid with the lofty forehead, " which do you consider correct: 'I bad rather p-o home.' or '\ would rather go hrrroo?' " "Neither,." .promptly' answered the young man, "I'd much rather stay here." Flossie Footlight: Part of the Jntmnese wedding ceremony consists in the burning of the discarded toys of tlio bride. Winnie Wings: Horrors! You don't mean cremating her cast-off lov* ers, do you?