"Uncle Picer's Money."

Timaru Herald, Volume XIIIC, Issue 13715, 3 October 1908, Page 1 (Supplement)

"Uncle Picer's Money."

: (By A. Perrin.l Wlien anything unpleasant happens, i: always wenw to make matters si>' much 1 wore* if the cause of The disaster is not. perfectly clear: and mother and I feel all* .the more vexed and disappointed because we can't understand why my iweleV visit should have- been such a fiasco. I know we did our utmost to make it a iuccsrss, not only. I must confess, froth instincte of hospitality, but also for the reason that Uncle Picer was a very rich old bachelor, who had lived nearly all his life in' Mexico, and had no near relations but ourselves. We alwayr. used to joke about him. and say we wished lie would come home and promise to leave us all his money; that I had always clung to the idea that this old stepbrother would turn up some day and prove a godsend to as. R<> our sensations may li- imagined when, last week, mother got a letter from Uncle Picer himself, saying he had arrived in America, and was coming down to see us the folowing evening, and would stay the night at the cottage if we would put him up Mfother telegraphed her delight, and tlKfei we begati TQ make preparations, feling bo fluttered and excited. We ransacked the neighbourhood fnr n really nice- fowl, but we bad to pay an awful lot for ir, becau.se at this time of year chickens are so scarce and dear. However we got one and tlien mother said she was sure lie would be furious if he did not have a chili, so we bought a tin of chili at the little grocer's in the village. The man said it had ben in the shop for some years, and there was no demand for some things, but he. believed chili improved with keeping, so we felt reassured. Then we were so afraid uncle would feel the cold after leaving such a hot climate that we piled all the spare blankets in the house on lo hi; b*d : and when hi room was ready the nest morning we lit a huge fire, and shut up the dour* and windows. We all worked hard to get things ready, mother and'l and Sarah, our servant, who has b'f*n with us for years. She. takes the- depest interest in all our I concerns, and she. really believed almost as though. UncJe Picer wae her relation as well ..was.nioeof her in a wajr, but T tUnuglit it rather, unnecessary of her to order iis to buy a rubber hot-water bottle for him. " Folks from hot places feels shivery," <=he averted, as though she had lived among Mexicans all her life, instead of being ao ignorant of their habits- and eve toms as we- were. Mother said she ftimply* couldn't buy anything more, whatever Sarah said, and I pointed out that it was quite unneces ' fiary, since we could easily till a beer bottle, with hot water and wrap it up in flannel. The arrangement' always .an swers perfectly well for ounselws in the winter. Sarah was only partially convinced. And she was in such a stale of agiiation, good soul, between her ' desire to pro pitiate, tlie Mexican uncle and to hold hei customary economy that ehe was quit* upset when the time of his arrival drew near: and I felt sure she would ruin the mulligatawny soup, and the chili, and the chiicken. and everything eke. .she was not accustomed to cooking late dinner, but we thought Uncle Picer would despise our usual tea. and we wished to do him every honour. We were all dreadfully -..ervinis when he arrived in the evening, and he wai not at all what we exp-oted. lieing a little, round, red. fat man. instead i.l the dried up. mahogany coloured mummy we had imagined. 1 took him up to his room, and the first be did wuc. to rush at the tire and drag all the coal off. till ing the room with .trunk*, and making such a clatter, arid tiiouting on:": "Open tin- windows' Ore.it sroli ! Suf fo.ati.-n !" \ I 1 wa* too fright-u-d to say anything, so 1 ..p*n-d the window, and then left him by liinv*-lf and went down to mo Uu-r. " and w.irne>t h-r io uke <nnir cbdl off ;h* hie »v had lighted in the j driwing-room. At last Un. Ie Picer came down, and we went into dinner. He looked very grumpy, and. alter one mouth fill ui the mulligatawny x.up linolhcl had got a VelV good le. i]ie 1..r it out. ol a fashion pap-n.he l-t hx. spoon dr..p with a bplach. alot pushed the p;.u«- away from him. Then he acked f..r nu.: in stea.r of btead. nud Sarah w;.i, so Hit; n.d sin- began lUlilimg t» and Ho be tweti the kitchen and the dining loom do ing nothing. M !-*■*! >lx- t'iought in thf..ul. and put >t down in from ..t inoihei. and the chili cotic.lllii 111.01.- on: .it .nlil inu.ton w.<* placed before me. It looked «n nice, swimming in •' bmun giavy. aim protei led bv a thick ciicle ot lie-. -. I inuot .-iv the rice w:is rather .link In aether, "but then everything ...uldn'i I. i nerfei■:. . j" •• X„w," s.ii.l in.»ih r hivpitably. " wri.cb will you have; a little . bill con ! '.arm to b-gln wall, "i m.i.o . In. Un j ] a r«ai country chicken, you know, th breast bone w..s not. bmkeu." I I could har.llv b.-heve my cuts when ! the ,1.1 wretch " lelu-.-d both. 1 coold I have Miak.il In in. all-r all ihe trouble jw- 1,...! taken. H" -ii-1 he In Vet vwsh.M '. :■.*.- a tow! >b..d ..r alive, as 1-iiJ. ' >b he exi«teil. and thai h- n-v. r imirhe.l i!«..li in >t out of Men.o. Luckily thcr--i ««-. come mole of the eld million in thv ! U.heli. ia. he ate that. M- l- diva-d thi.iaret mother h-t bough:, and w..nt-d . i.h.kv and i—la Ot «"Ur«e. w- holm I such "a thing in tie- in.use. .-. he drank ! ihe bi.iii.lv mother ke.-p« upstair, m ca-.- ! »« .lie .ll": and with the >ago bn.imht m ; at the veiy t-iid of dimi'-t. he didn't do \ ia, badly * At any rate, he i.-. iii-.l burly | -alined', and af'.-r dinner talked amiably j and .u.k-d .t he Mllokr | tit ...U!.-", llioltl'l . Hilled, and 5..1.1 cr , taii.lv. but 1 kl-e W W I-- lII.IIk.l.i? o! i the iie,h itiitr.ii.v ju-t iin up .iter tlii •piii... .-ie.ii.iiik': ai.a h.■ tiu,--1 ... irinble a- '*»!( i.-ior- tl. .r. !r< 1..V-.1 Wk'-B t.« f-aci ho wcuhi S -; - ; -' i C 4 firly.

"I Xow rom.s the most distressing part jof my story Soon after Are had all j gone to bed, I \i i-, .ierrified to htar the I must .mini jell, followed by a clash, that seemed to come from the direction of Uncle Picer* room. 1 sprang up and rushed out on to the.landing, where I met mother looking as'if she was going to faint. She clutched hold of me and said—"Oh, did you hear'itf'. He is . being murdered !" "Then we shall be the next," I whispered. And 1 was so frightened that I sank down on the floor, and so did rao•her. holding on to me. However, we heard no .more sounds; so presently, when we felt, a little; ter. we crept down to Sarah's room and woke her up. We told her what we had heard,, and said we Xvere ; sure there was a burglar in the hou.4?, and that Uncle Picer might be-'lying, with life throat cut. She came with us to his door, and we turned the handle carefully, but the door was locked on tdie inside. Presently I took courage, and, putting my mouth to the keyhole, I called Uncle Picer two or three "times in a low but distance voice. At first we heard nothing, and -then, to our utter horror, there came a muffled sound like a deep groan ! We all shook with fear, but we felt we must act. promptly; and I argued, in a whisper, that the murderer must have escaped through the window, and we could hear no movements- inside the room. Wa then settled that- we must send for Brown, the carpenter (whose cottage is close to ours), to come and pick the lock. So Sarah went to fetch him, while mother and I huddled together on the stairs in an agony of fright,, till they returned. The*); we all crept on tiptoe to Uncle Pieer's door; and we women stood shivering with fearful anticipation while Brown noiselessly picked the lock. If. was soon done, and we pushed the door a little way open, our hearts beating fast. The room was quite dark "when we entered it, and Brown was just tnrn j ing to fetch, a light when Sarah gave a yell. • . " Blood ! Blood !"' she and fell down on the floor in hysterics; And then, to "our horror, our 'feet came in contact/with a warm' stream on the <"arptt.-.-■■■■■; : • •■■■ .-■ -■ , '-;. ■■.;■ Suddenly, from the depths/of the darkness, a' rough voice shouted—.' * "Who the devil's there?" / " • "The- murderer!" shrieked mother, clutching Brown around tije neck, while I clung to .his arm,, and Sarah'. yelled louder than ever; in: fact, ; we all made frightful noises, and no wonder, when we thought our last hour had come In; the middle of it all the room suddenly became illuminated.' and : there we saw Uncle Picer,: himself sitting up i„ bed. with a lighted candle in his hand Before we had time to recover ourselves he sprang up, and, seizing a chair,- rushed at-Brown, calling out—"Thieves' .Murder! You confounded villain !" • " ' Poor Brown was so astonished that he simply turned and rushed out of the house We heard the hall door banc behind him. . " Th?n, .panting and furious, Uncle Picer turned on mother. I can see him now in the green-and-pink striped sleeping, sutt, and his eyes bolting nut. of his round, red face. :■£■■■- "Now, madam, explain-'this disgraceM scene!" Poor mother sank down, sobbing. The room was in confusion. Brown had upset two chairs and a tabfe in his flight : Sarah was Mill grovelling at nut feet in hysterics, .imploring Uncle picer to knock her on the head instead of cutting her throat; and, lastly, the bathwater beer bottle lay on the floor, smashed to atoms, and the water soaking into \he carpet. Then my confused mind became clear I stepped up fo the infuriated Uncle Picer. ."'■'':' "Uncle," T said, "there has heen a mistake. We heard yon give'' a yell soon after we were in bed. and we, thought you were being jnwrdered.". "Murdered Whouia^think im •*■' W sputtered." Your confounded hot-water bottle nearly burnt my toes off I Of course I yelled, miss," and kicked- the beastly thing out of bed, too; and you " " Please let me explain," 1 implored; in dismay, knowing no» that Sarah, in her excitement, must have fora-etten to wrap the bottle tip. " W r e listened at your door, and thought you heard a groan. I supjmse j-o U must have be«n snoring " At that he literally capered with rage. "Snoring! 1 never did such a thing in my life." I went on—"And we N>»f for Browu, the car penter." " All a pack of lies. I don't, believe a word of it. You were after my diamond studs—vim ;iiid your infernal young man!" At the notion of Brown oeing mv youiig man I hnrsf. out laughing. 1 • imply could not stop myself. Aud then it was all tip with ns. He stormed and raved, ami swore he would leave by the first train in. the. morning. And sure enough he did so, \yithoui speaking another word to unv of u*. Certainly we shall never st-e H -iliilliiig of Uncle Pi.-et's iimiiev now. linw> v<i, ;•.. 1 tell mother, w- have managed all right without it hiili-rt<>, so 1 ,»nppi>*< k there ii no reason why wr should not g-'t on as well without it in the future. Bui it is all very annoving; and what vexe» us r><. mttili i.s that We can't *t'e what more we could have don<s to phase him. or why hit visit, which ought to lwvi« U-.-U a siuvt-xs. should have proved <ui-h a ghastly failure. It rmt.M all. have beeii due to his own uasiv. impossible Mexican temper.