Suggestion for Inventors.

Timaru Herald, Volume XIIC, Issue 13697, 12 September 1908, Page 3 (Supplement)

Suggestion for Inventors.

(London Daily KxprefS.) Everyone respects the man who invented the stud with a movable head (says a writer in the Ixtndon Daily Express). He is one of the benefactors of mankind. No one has heard his name, but he has done more for humanity titan, say. Napoleon. He has given tlie whole world five minutes ev*ry morning. Think of the years thus saved and the temj>ers preserved! It is, on the other hand, impossible to be friendly with tlie man who invented that obstinate and arbitrary thing of bone which to be> the ruiu of all collars. Such a man can only be forgotten, and, if possible, forgiven. He is in tlie same category as tho man who thought of the top-hat. or tlie starched *liirt, or tlie hansom street-whistle. There is no excuse for him. It is, in fact, necessary that the inventor should be a man of a sensitive and amiable disposition. He must know all the weaknessc* of humanity ;oid l>e prepared to respond to them. He muxt not scorn the little and he must remember that the man who thought of goloshc* made a fortutv. He need not worry so much about llying-machinex ns about studs. It i* more nccewiry that he should add to our comfort than to our altitude.

An apj>eal, for instance. w;i» made the other day, by a correspondent of the Kxpiv**, for noiwthing to take the place of the elusive button hook. A buttonhook if> admittedly one of tho things that can never be found. It* gift of disappearance is ishatx-d only with timetables, k«y.i. and ojn-m-rs of mineralwater bottles. It timo ."iiim* o»'- thought of a • ul>*titntc for the button hook. Kveryono wh« has hurt his or hj« r finders in a «ksj<er.i(<> attempt to do up buttons would wvlcotiiu such an invention. String hat* been tried, but. it is not satisfactory. There is a fortune waiting for the inventor of something which would make a butt<>n hook unn« or.wtry. Then- i* another waiting for the jnwnUir of th«- unbreakable bootlaca. Other inventions !>■-< i>me more n•■ct.s;»rv every dav. How i* it, for instance, that tho umbrella is allowed to remain vi primitive! In its prrwent form it i*, a clutn*v devico l"r protecting one pivrt of one'* body at the exjicn.*' of another Hv it* anco the rain is r..nduct«-<l in a. concentrated form to 00.-'s and lx«>Ls. In a crowd it is a. constant source of irntation. ** it bcn<-tiv-v nnlr tii.- | r->• ri immediately beiitalii I!, and diijiS water cu ererjoua eiio

who comes within its range. In a wind it may blow inside out at any moment. Surely the mind of man can think of something better than the umbrella?

Then, too, the doormat. Could anything be more •unsatisfactory! In its present form it is simply a raising-ground for germs. The Lancet ought to issue a pamphlet against it. What is needed is a revolving, self-cleaning mat, on Avhich dust or mud could not accumulate. The visitor would put his foot on the mat, and the dust would be whirled into a receiver. A small electric motor would provide the power. Eveiyone complains of the heat in the summer, and many people are unable to sleep successfully at night. Why should not bedrooms have sliding roois? Nothing could be more healthy, or enjoyable than to be protected by walls, but free -.from the oppression of the roof.

There is no such thing as a water-proof-boot of reasonable weight. Anyone who wants to keep dry on a rainy day has to wear heavy shooting-boots. Some material ,is needed which could be combined with leather to make a waterproof boot of ordinary weight. The man who thought of the fountain-' pen was a kindly soul, but, he might have gone further, and make certain that it would not ink one's fingers or overflow into one's pocket. A gauge should be fitted, so that one could tell when the ink is nearly exhausted. Glass is all very well, but it is quite unsuitable for hansoms, and has been the cause of many accidents. Something of equal transparency but flexible is wanted.

The pipe is one of the pillars of society, but the perfect pipe is yei to come. There are many which claim perfection, but there was always a weak point, cither of shape, or weight ,or price. At present every smoker starts by trying about six different patents, but afU-r a time becomes careless about the effects of nicotine, and goes back to the ordinary patent less briar. What is vranted is a pipe which insures absolute dryness or coolness, but docs not embarra«> the smoker by its grotesque shape or* excessive weight. Chairs are improving, hut they arc still uncomfortable. They are too angular and unresponsive, and they are made in too wholesale a way. A man ought to be fitted for his chair, just as lie is fitted for his clothex. One of the disadvantages of society is the necessity for sitting in other people's chains. A "fortune is, in fact, waiting for llk* professor of chairs. He would give advice oa the art of sitting down, and at the end ©f the consultation would measure his patient, and hand over tlie measurements, with notes, to the chairbuilding department. What could he inoro grotesque than to fXiH'ct a woman xix feet two inches tall to W comfortable in a chair which gives her no opportunity to be graceful? The straw hat is a useful institution but it is getting smaller iw»U*ad of larger. Originally it was meant tit chade the sun, but in its present form it is hj« ineffectual as the bowler. The reason is that no one has yet thought of the hat which is not at the ni-rcy of the wind; of concentrating on the problem of how to keep it on, the makers have simply reduced ito Misceptibilitv to wiud, and taken awuy its only merit. A straw hat of reason able fW which cannot blow off in ur gently needed. Has anyone ever thought of a sub stitutc for work; 1 want to find that man.