A PROTECTION COMEDY.

Timaru Herald, Volume XIIC, Issue 13597, 18 May 1908, Page 3

A PROTECTION COMEDY.

SULTAN OF TABIFFOBMIA. L_

A novel feature at a Liberal demonstration at Annan,at- which Tariff Reform was almost- the only subject discussed, was the "production" by Mr H. Lloyd Davies, of Xewbic, tiie principal speaker, of a sort of burlesque entitled "The Sultan of Tarifformia; or. the Murraythwaite Mare's Xest." (Mr Murray, of Murraythwaite, was the local Unionist candidate.) It was after poking a little mild fun at a Primrose League entertainment that. Mr Davies said they proposed to take a leaf out of the Primrose League book and try to combine instruction with amusement, and to give an illustration of Tariff Reform in operation in the shape of ;i sketch or comedy. The platform was the island of Tarifformia. Mr Murray, the Sultan, and he (Mr Davies), the Sultan's Prime Minister. The body of the li-ill represented the Atlantic Ocean, and the porls of Xew York and Buenos Ayrcs were the extreme cornem of the hall, while the other two comers represented Liverpool and London. Xow, Liverpool and London were about to exchange with New Yprk and Buencs Ay res cases of machinery for bags of grain. They had in the hall the necessary cases of machineiy and bags of grain, and tiny had gentlemen who had undertaken to represent the citia; mentioned, lie Would ask Liverpool and New York to commence an exchange of (he cases of machineiy for the bags of grain. This having been duly effected, Mr Davies (proceeding) said no doubt these gentlemen who. had effected the exchange were quite pleated with themselves, but as Prime Minister of Tarifformia he had to tell them that they were entirely wrong. That sort of trad 1 ? was all very well for people with Cobdenite ideas, but hi.-: master the Sultan, in order to keep the trade ai. home, said they must stop that exchange. The Sultan intended to put up u tariff' barrier, and thus refuse lo allow Liverpool and Xew York to make exchanges, and so he would ask t'nein to undo the exchange made. This having been done, Mr Davies said the people of T'arifforirda. were now better off, because thev were going to have now a teal exchange in their own country, and hiij master would earn .the title of a bene factor. (Laughter.) He would call upon Liverpool and London to make ail exchange.

"But," exclaimed London, "I want corn for machineiy; 1 don't want machinery for machinery." (Laughter.) Mr Davies: But. you arc getting more work-

London : But I don't want work—l want corn.

Mr Davies: Since your are tired of exchanging machinery, take in one another's washing. There is plenty of work. See what a. grand time you are going ito Lave. I have undertaken to give 3-011 work, and what my master has said lie has said.

Here Buenos Ayrcs was heard, to cry out from the corner of the hall that be wanted' to exchange com, and London made the exchange. " No, 110," exclaimed Mr Davies; " you are upsetting all my master's plans. Undo that- exchange, and don't show any more ingratitude. "(Laughter.) Here entered a large deputation representing the officers of the Mauritania and Lusitania, who .stated that as the foreign trade hail been -stopped they were out i;f work. Mr Davies: I am sorry to hear that, but you can go and join the Custom House officers. The Deputation: But there's no need. Then- is no foreign irade. Mr Davies: Wvll. go and b>*':oine a eoastgtiardsmaii. ( Laughter.) There appeared other deputations representing (lie shipping clerk;, dock labour ets. shipbuilder:-', boilennakers. and engi-ne-.rs. all of whom had Ikcii thrown out of employment by the abolition of foreign trade. Finally appeared 011 the scene a large deputation elating that they could not eai machinery, and that they wanted something \o eai. Mr I)avie> : Well. I can do nothing more for you. (!•> away ; lam very busy, and my maMer has t" cati-li a train. Thi* "skt-ti-ii " i-aiiM-d gr--at aiimst-iiicnl. and tli<- fiequent points mad:- woe warmly appla tided.