TWO MEN IN A BOAT.

Timaru Herald, Volume LVII, Issue 6064, 25 September 1894, Page 4

TWO MEN IN A BOAT.

sj | (Pall Mall Gezette) Will the deputation from the National | British Women's Temperance Association, whose appointment with the Home Secretary at h»lf-past twelve this morning was suddenly postponed till later on m the day, »» kind enough to ikip this paragraph p Thank you. At half past twelve Mr Aequitb, together, with Mr A J Balfour and three ladies, made their way over to the Sarl'e Court Exhibition. It appears that the Home Seoretary, skilful as he is at answering questions m the House, finds one question constantly recurring which gravels him. Hitherto he has tiad to humbly admit that he has not shot the ohutes- So tfaia morning he. went stalking them, and suo oeeded m shooting them three times In doing so he displayed one more accom* plisbment for which the world has not yet given him credit. It hoB lone been known that he can make a olever party speeoh, that he oan tie a witness m knots by his oross° examination m the courts, and that he can bring sound judgment to bear npon the responsible duties of his high offi:e. But who before suspeotsd that he could whoop like an Indian? If he oould only be got to whoop m the House as vigorously as ho whooped m the chute, the yell might b'aooone a great parliamentary battloory, puting far into the shade anything tbe Irish could ever do, The party all appeared to enjoy the ohuting immensely, but it m»y be news to them to hear that they were themselvts 'shot 'in mid detoant by a sight of tbe Oimera. As soon as Mr Asquith had mopped up the water whioh splashed down his back he allowed himtelf to be persuaded to try the haunted swing. This is a new show of a particularly diibolioul oharaoter. You sit on a swing m a dark room, and while you gently swing bickwardß and forwards & few inches only, the walls of the room are set revolving. The effect of this is to delude tbe unhappy victim on the swing into the belief tbat the compartment m wbion he ie seated is dcioribing the entire oirole instead of moving backwards and forwards m 1 pendulum style, Ladies on thin awful vehiole have been seen to wildly hold their skirts about their ankles at the moment they were deluded into believing they were hanging m spaoe head downward ; while many a mac, on leaving the room, has been seen to count his money to eae if any ba< dropped from his pocket, so complete is tho illusion, Judging by tbe groaos and moans which penetrated the outer world from thii> oabinet while Mr Asquith ond paHy waro " swinging " they had a terrible <im-< of L, and perhaps a Home Offioe orriar for the instant olosing of the show will stop the laughter of the misoreants who made an inoffonsive member of the Government feel to bad. After this Mr Bilfour, who seemed to be enjoying it all, without harbouring any philosophic doubts concerning the after effeots of it all, lured Mr Asquith on to the switohbook. If the Home Secretary's attitude m Parliament to-night should be strange, va& his remarks m any way incoherent, Mr Balfour will be morally responsible.