CONUNDRUMS WHOLESALE.

Timaru Herald, Volume LV, Issue 5518, 21 September 1892, Page 4

CONUNDRUMS WHOLESALE.

In reply to our advertisement " Kangoroo," who unless ho is uncommonly active could not Keep pace with his own conundrums, sends us the following. He little thinks we have over 2000 already, or ho would doubtless have spared us the threat to send along another batob. If our readers want to know who are the punsters, riddle makers, acroßtic compilers, and puzzle inventors of New Zealand, let them offer a prize, as we have done, and if they have the same luck nothing bub suioide or the mad house will save them. Doctors, clergymen, lawyers, officora of the fleet, ladies under and over 17 (or 70 for that matter), children m their teens and out of them ; white, blaok, bond and free will all contribute their quota, at least we have contributions from them all ; and yet m tho majority of cases thoy have missed the cardinal condition, of our offer, which was that the Waterbury watch ohou)d be the theme, and not a conundrum on a watoh, with Waterbury added, but really unattached ! We have had riddles turned out on tbe co-operative principle, the outcome of evening parties, Bible classes, or other meetings of the sexes, Otherß have been evolved over tbo dinuer tables of our hotels, m friendly rivairy nmongßt the guests, b'omo are sent m oarefully cnvelopod m perfumed wrappers, with monogram and norn deplume Man fail' Others are juvenile, badly spelt, and pooned m honest round hand between set pencil linos. A few are illegible as a whole or m part, and harder to " climb " than a monkey's puzzle. But none forget to add the address where the Goldeu Wutorbury is to be sent, and by the strangest of coincidences there is no ambiguity or unintelligibity about that part of tho epistle. Oh, no, that is all right. One or two have brought thoir's round, and after commending their efforts tD our kind consideration have suggested an adjournment to the GroßVonor, or havo " winked tbe otber eye." We remained of course immaculate ; tbe best proof of this being that the prizes have not yet been awarded. Some contributors suggested tbat " Oivis " should be the judge ! ~Boy> wo should like to know who"Civis" io? Am almost certain that ho is a contributor, and that thia suggestion came from him. Shouldn't wonder. Happy thought s can't trust " Civis." Must eot some other humourist, possibly Mibs Morrison or H. 8. Fish. However, wo have digressed, and now give way to Kangaroo : — 1. Why is the old Beries Watorbury like a kangaroo? — Answer: Becauee it possesses a tremendous spring. 2. Why is tho eale of the Watorbury Watch like a kangaroo? — Aoswer: Because it progresses by leaps ar.d boundß. 3. Why are the Watorbury ogents like a kaugaroo ?— AnBWor : Because they never get their tails between their legs. 4. Why is the Watorbury Watch like tho sun? -Answer: Becau3o you can depond upon it being up to time. 5. What is the difference between tho Waterbury Watch and moßfc of our goldmining oompsnies P Answer : The one is wound up, started, goes till it rims down, and you havo a capital watch j the other is started, you havo to wntch your capital going till it runs down, and then — its-wound up. You know. Agent Waterbury Watch Co. I put the " cone." first, because I rackon that's the place they should occupy m your list of prizes.- I reckon, liko the baby, they can't bb beat. So kindly send on the "ticker" at your earliest convenience. If these don't take tho cake (watch, I mean) just say so. I have a few more by mo, and can trot them out to suit ; m fact, I could do 'em by contraot. "Barkis is willin'," bo just say tho word and oblige "Kangaroo."