THE OBJECTIONABLE AUSTRALIAN.

Timaru Herald, Volume XXXIX, Issue 2826, 13 October 1883, Page 3

THE OBJECTIONABLE AUSTRALIAN.

Tom Salisbury was walking past Ap3ley House. Ho crossed the Park from Bayawater, where ho waa lodging. It was at the end of the season, and town waa beginning visibly to thin. Tom had recently come from tho East, on three months' holiday, and of course had had to put himself into the friendly hands of the tailor and hosier. He was a perfect gentleman, his father a well-born man and holding a family living, but embarrassed with a very large family. The juniors had, of course, had to shift for themselves, but every effort had been made to give them good educations. Tom had been at Marlborough aud Oxford, and there was a thought at ono time of putting him into the Church, but that had fallen through. The idea does fall through nowadays, sometimea. There is a great ardor for adventure abroad, most sedulously encouraged by all boy literature, m which the desert island, tho ice-bound »hip, the prairie, tho forest primeval — everything strange, everything wild — was never more popular. However, Tom had not knowledge enough — talent enough, if you will— to fight his way into the best things ; and so it ended m his going out to India m the Telegraph. Gentleman, however, as ho really was, — m his very new clothes, he gave the appearance of being on an outing ; he had not the easy carriage of gloves even ; they seemed to bore him, and he stretched his fingers out straight. Then his complexion was very brown and red, hia moustache and whiskers of somewhat undue growth, and, if he thought he had the air of an habitue of Piccadilly, he was really mistaken. A short distance up the pavement, Tom was met by a

n .strange-looking man. Ho was tall and s | br..ad, had a fino open faco with soft blue 7 i eyes, short light hair and a curling yellow J board. Ho w»ro n complete suit of drab 1 woollen ; his Velasquez collar, which lay loosely over, was Becured by a small bluo ' ribbon ; and his brows wero shaded by a t largo sombrero hat of snuff-colored felt. t His hands were m his pockets. But be- , holding Tom, ho stood still m tho middle f of tho flags, released his hands, spread , out his arms, and crying out, " SaUim . bijlccicalla !" (lightning-man— lndian for ; electrician) burst into a laugh. I " Why, Tom," ho continued, " what • has brought you homo ? You wero not ' thinking of it when I last saw you." j " No, my lord," the other said, "it ' was a sudden ido;i ; but tho good mother was not very well, and I had three months at my disposal, and I thought I would just run over and look her up." " And quite right too, my dear boy. I can only say I am delighted to sco you. Now you must come and dine with me, like a good fellow. I belong to ono or two clubs, but I think Oxford and Cambridge will suit us, becauso you may see somo old friends. I hare belonged to it since I was at college. Will to-morrow do ? " " I shall really ba vory happy, my lord." " I have only just got Home myself," the big man added ; " I lingered m E'jypt, went to Constantinople, and thence to Athens. But where are you going now I" " I want to pay a call at the Albany." " Well, I was going to Princo's, but I would much rather walk with you. Come along." The man with the light beard was tho Marquis of Banff. He had been out to India for shooting m the cold season, and had stayed Rome time at tho station where Salusbury was located — a placo situated on tho Ganges, but at no distance from a range of hills still frequented by tigers. Salusbury — himself an excellent shot — had formed one of a party to do tho honors to his lordship, and initiate him into tho mysteries of Indian woodcraft. Lord Banff was singularly free from prido m its ordinary development. His idea of tho privileges of his rank was that they should enable him to do exactly as he liked, know whom he pleased, dress according to his fancy, and roßist the trammels of convention and Bociety. Whether this were pride m a new masquerado may bo left to the analysts of the passions, with whom we have here no special concern. The gentleman Tom Salusbury was proposing to call upon at tho Albany was a certain Major Fenimore, an officer who had retired from the Engineers, having come m for a small property, which enabled him to carry out bachelor life m town with great comfort, and he had taken rooms m tho calm and select colonnade which offers such instantaneous stillness after the roar of Piccadilly. His full names wero Henry Knox Fenimoro : these dotails aro known m India through the Gazettes. Tom Salusbury had happened to be posted at two stations with Fenimore, and indeed, at one of them, had occupied the same houso, and they had chummed togother. Tho Major was an equable, good-natured sort of man, fair rider and sportsman, fadding and finikin m many points, a stickler for proprieties and etiquettes : but, as ho was not strong enough then to insist on his peculiarities, they passed for harmless foibles, and formed the subject of coffee-shop raillery. On going home to inherit his money, ho had said generally to Tom, " You must be sure to look mo up if you return," and thero was no reason to supposo he was at the time insincere. Tom, therefore, of course thought of tho injunction when he got to London, and being of a hearty nature, determined to unearth the Major, and havo a " jolly palaver" on old times and common friends. Lord Banff was full of tho incidents of the sporting tour all the way up Piccadilly, and amused himself with using little scraps of Hindostanee ho had picked up ; occasionally laughing so loud, and with his hands m his pockets all the time, that the people turned round m somo astonishment. When tho two reached tho Albany, the Marquis asked, " Whom aro you going to sco, Tom Sahib ( " " An old Indian," the other replied. "I will come too. I think I like old Indians. I will astonish him with the lingo." Of course there was no saying nay. So they turned m at an entry, and went up the staircase, for the Major's apartments were on the first floor. A neatly-dressed page answered the bell, and m reply to theinquiry " Is Major Fonimoreathome?" Baid "Do you mean Major Knox Feiiimoro. " I suppose I do," said Tom. " Here, you had better take a card." Lord Banff whispered, "Don't say who I am. Any namo will do — Rob Roy, Guy Mannering — whatover comes into your head." The visitors wero shown into a very neat sitting room, with everything m approved taste, — the paper and hangings of faded vegetables, the carpet with no pattern — only a dead ground color — for tho Major had declared, with a distinguished fribble about town, " I do not like a carpet to address mo when I enter the door." The Japanse umbrella had been duly placed where it is understood the Japanese like to havo their umbrellas — m the firoplace — and the artistic pottery waa hooked against the wall on velvet frames, where it certainly would havo astonished Palissy or Wedgwood to have seen it. On screens and elsewhere, that chaste plant the sunflower prevailed, whose efflorescence, m its happiest moment, sometimes touched the beauty of a brazen saucepan. Oscar Wilde's poems lay on tho table m company with the essays of tho gentle Pater ; and above tho mautolpieco was seen a skotch of a large-featured female, with bushy hair, and an upper lip like tho letter "w " upside down, who was designated Venus Polyandria. Tho accessories of the lobster's claw and the empty champagne glass were conceived m tho wellknown emblematic manner of tho master. The Major entered, a smoothly shaved person with good features, but rather furtive eyes, too near together, and a certain smirking smile, not absolutely disagreeable, but doubtful. Tom sprang up, impulsive fellow as ho was, and, taking the Major's hand m both of his, cried, " Glad to sco you again old fellow, and looking ao bonny too." Then with perfect gravity ho introduced Mr Mannering. Fenimore bowed coldly to Mannering, and, though condescending to smile on Tom, sent a chill to his heart by tho stiff response to his cordial greeting. Ho thawed a little m time, but when Tom began talking of scenes gone by, tho Major asked him if he had retired for good. " No, my dear fellow ; bless you, how could I retire ? I havo only come to see the dear old mother."

" Ah, well," said the Major, "then of! course it ia excusable m you talking about India. But when you finallycome home, I really recommend you, from my own experience, to drop the subject. No md hye, my good man, can get into the London world except m disguise. For myBelf, f think I shall drop the ' Major,' eveu. People tako you for Militia ; and then, if you explain who you .are, you have to bring up that precious Bengal, and your last state ia worse than your first. With plain Mister you may be territorial, for what anyone can toll."

Maniiering said nothing all this time, being apparently engaged m studying Feniinore's character. However, the

Major thinking ho must address some observation to his guest, remarked, "It won't do to show m town after this week, will it ? All the beat people will bo off, for tho season is virtually ended." Mr Mannering replied, " I shall be gliid when wo get a month with an 'r' m it, and tho oyster and porter season commences. Periwinkles are wretched work !" Tho Major looked at the speaker m an alarmed way. " Where nro you going yourself, Major ?" naked Tom. " Well I thought of rusticating incog. for a week or two at Matlock, till the gronao come m. I have taken part of a moor with a baronet, a friend of mine. It lies near Lord Banff's estates, or rather, near one of his estates. He has been roaming over tho world, but ho cither has come back, or is coming back directly. They say he is quite an original, but a man has a right to be that with £70,000 a year. I hope lie will be down at a placn ho ha 3 thero. It would be very nice, and I should have the best opportunities of hoing introduced to him. He has splendid fishing, and if we cottoned together he might ask me to share it at the proper time." Tom perhaps looked comical, but ho said nothing, and tho Major ran on for a while m tho s:\ino strain. However, to avoid complications, a retreat was advisable, and so Salusbury ruse to take leave. " Shall you be m tho Park?" ho asked at parting. " I don't know ; thero aro some horrid Volunteers there to-night, I think. Five o'clock tea with Lady Mary Bohun will cany tho day, I expect." The Major shook hands with Tom m a patronising way, but bowed most distantly to Mnnnering. When tho Marquis and Salusbury got into tho central covered wrlk, tho former cried, " Look here, Tom Sahib, I would giro that chap a wide berth. Ho is ashamed of his past ; ho is ashamed of you. Ho wants to kick each stono away as ho crosses the brook. Bah ! I will tell you, Tom Sahib, and you may tell him, if you like, when you have a chance, that such as he shall never throw line into water of mine. Not if I know it, Tom Sahib !" Whilst this determination was boing announced, tho speaker had stood atill, holding Tom by the button. To them m this attitude ran the Major's page, appearing hurriedly on the paved way. " Please which is Mr Salusbury I" "I am, lad," Baid Tom. " Major Knox Fonimoro would like to speak a word with you alone." "All right, Tom Sahib," exclaimed my lord ; "I have got to go to Bond street. We will part now. But remember Oxford and Cambridge to-morrow night at eight sharp. Good-bye, dear boy. Ritldm, bljleeicalla /" And laughing merrily, tho great cr.'aturo rollod airay. When Tom re-eutored the sitting-room, the Major was more cordial. "Salusbury," he said, "I know you aro a aensihlo fellow, and you won't bo offended at my speaking the truth to you. But you can understand that I entered society under great disadvantages, having lain jicnln so long m that musty hole, India. And I have to bo very careful not to compromise myself. You with your sound senso, will see that I cannot be altogether ivh.it I was when wo knew each other before. But I quite recollect that you were a good fellotv, and I do not see why we should not dine together Bomo evening. Any quiet placo where we could talk, and not be bothered with swells, Salusbury — private room at the Criterion, perhaps ; but wo can settle particulars afterwards. It is a very ticklish thing, gotting on at Grst. A fans, pas might throw ono back m a moment. lam certain you won't be hurt — for I saw you were on tenter hooks yourself — but I must give a hint. You must not bring rounds of boiled beef, like your Australian friend — what did you call him ? Manning ( No, that was the man who murdered Mr Connor — but it does not matter about tho name. They are all very well on board ship, and 1 dare say you were too good-naturod to cut him on shoro ; but, my good soul, such creatures wero not meant for tho Albany. Fancy a man iv thoso clothes speaking to one m the Park ! I should never get over tho chaff." " I ought not perhaps to havo brought a stranger," Baid Tom. " Well, never mind," urged the Major ; " only do not do it again. lam not firm enough yet to stand Australians." " Well, it was an exceptional casa," remarked Tom very calmly, "and I thought you might not havo boon displeased ; for you should know that your supposed monster from tho Antipodes was — tho Marquis of Banff !" Don't Dik m the House. — " Rough on Rats" clears out rats, mice, booties, roaches, bed-bugs, flies, ant.s, insects, moles, jackrabbits, gophers. Moses, Moss and Co., Sydney, penoral agents.— [Advt.] Skinny Men.— " Wells' Health Renewer " restores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, Impotence, Dobility. 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