NEW CHUM—No. III.

Timaru Herald, Volume XV, Issue 669, 25 October 1871, Page 5

NEW CHUM— No. 111.

The other day, I sat down to write a few remarks upon the manners of New Zealanders, giving'philosophical inferences with regard to human naturo generally, and the British race m particular, as I went along. The topic which first suggested itself to my mind, was the hospitable spirit prevailing throughout the colony. I had not been writing long, when, carried away by my theme, I found myself dilating on the superiority of kind-hearted profusion to Belfish economy ; of generous and simple liberality, to such vain ostentation of bounty as is constantly being made m England at a cost which is m secret begrudged. From thai I went on to consider the comparative wealth of Englishmen and New Zealanders, and the different kinds of hospitality which characterise the two : — the magnificence and fitfulness of the one ; the plainness and constancy of the other. Again my subject ran away with me, and I wrote on for some time m a state of enthusiasm ; till, coming to a sudden stand still, it struck me that I might as well read over what I had writte n. To my shame and disappointment, I found, that instead of being ready with another number for the Herald, I had prepared only a long, stiff lecture, dealing with but me item of the many that were before before mo, and written m such a manner that a text alone was wanting to make a sermon of it. Of course this would not do. So I tore it up, and tried again — again — and again, to toucii with suitable brevity, upon all the different peculiarities which I had noted m the manners of New Zealanders. At length, m despair, I determined to write to a friend of mine m Christchurch, and ask hint to send a few hints. He quickly responded ; and thu following is the answer that I received : — [N.B. — For the sake of despatch, I take the liberty or giving the letter m full, without permission.] " Kilmore Street, " Christchurch, August 28th. " My Dear Hurrack, — It is not much that I can suggest m answer to your letter ; mid that little I shall only have time to write very briefly. " I was not at all surprised to hear that you had found yourself sermonising. You always had rather a turn that way. And I can tell you it is high time you corrected it." [Here followed a few observations of a private nature, which I need not repeat.] " It is now nearly a year and a half sinoe I arrived m New Zealand, so that my recollection of first impressions is growing rather dim. " You said something m your note abon t the gossiping propensities of the town people out here. That reminds me of a scandal which was the talk of on my arrival. I will give it you m eztenso, us it is a very good instance m point. " A certain Mr H , of the Miihomedim persuasion had lately died, I. aving a Protestant widow with one son. In their marriage settlement, it had been provided that, if they h»d any children, the sons should be educated to the views of Mr H , and the daughters m those of their mother. Well, they had hud but two children ; v daughter, who died young ; and a son, who was loft an orphan when lie was three years old. "It had been gonorally reportod of the father at the time of his death, that he had latterly shown a -leaning towards the English Church. Some people even went so far as to say that when he was too weak to speak he had kissed a New Testament. One thing, however, was certain : he never formally renounced his Mahomedanism, and the mother was therefore bound by law to have her son — and only child — educated m that religion. " Well, when I arrived m , this affecting story, m all its details, was the common topic of conversation throughout the town. With the ladies it seemed to be all-engrossing. Its privacy and deep importance to the persons directly concerned, were no gag to them, but rather served as incentives to curiosity. Wherever I went, even amongst the intimate acquaintances of Mrs H herself, I heard the subject broached without hesitation, and discussed without reserve. There was enough of romance to give it a very considerable relish with the busybodios ; and interest was kept alive by dark hints that a certain lady, who had a Bervant who waR couoin to a confidential servant m the employ of Mrs H , had been heard to say, she believed Mrs H was intending to educate the boy as a Protestant, m which case the child's guardians, -who were related to him on His father's side, would undoubtedly interfere' and take steps to enforce the law. Some pitied Mrs H , and. blamed the guardians. Some said Mrs H deserved exposure for trying to evade he* duty; and hoped that the guardians would come down upon her as they ought. " Some amused themselves by expatiating on the greatness of Mrs H-^— *s original folly, as they were pleased to call it. Others again, said that religion had nothing to do with marriage ; and there were persons who showed their superior piety by loudly affirming the reverse. " But m three things they were all agreed. They took all the leading reporta for certain

truths, and argued accordingly. They put fresh coloring to the most interesting features upon every fresh repetition. And they were unanimous m discussing the subject on every possible opportunity, and voting it to be the finest piece of fun they had had to talk about for a long time. " What do you say to that ? It is as fine a specimen' of New Zealand manners as you could get from any one, I believe. You might enlarge upon it with advantage. Put youroe)f m my position, and tell the yarn as if it came under your own experience. You might take the opportunity for practising grandiloquenoe, and say you are perfeotly convinced that there is nothing so poisonous to society m all its branches, as this abominable habit of ill-natured and impertinent gossiping, and so forth. Tell them (what was really the case with me) that you were astounded at the hold it appeared to have on the minds of the people m , and fancied it must be more or less peouliar to them, till you came to Christohurch and found the practice just as common there and just as bad. "Of course, we meet with a good many soandal- mongers m England. But there, the fair and gentle (!) sex almost monopolise the evil. But here, however, m spite of having, m many cases, to do the greater part of the work of housemaid as well as housekeeper, and sometimes of cook into the bargain, they appear not only to have found time, for training themselves to be the most consummate gossipers, and universal gazetteers of reproaoh m the British dominions, but they have even had leisure to bring up their husbands to a shameful pitch of skilfulness m the same unholy arts ! " There — I think I have said enough upon that subject to start you on your way. As for the hospitality of the colonists, which you appear to have enlarged upon so fully, there is no need to say much about that. It is universally recognised by all new comers, and cannot, I think, be disputed for a moment. " The impertinence of some of' the tradesmen here is deserving of notice. I remember being awfully amused, at first, by the way little puny shopmen sold their things with an air of great superiority, as if they : were conferring a favor on their customer, rather than receiving one themselves. " But, if you take my advice, you will not make too much' of the failings that you notice, or you will render your essays unpalatable. There arc more flies, you know, to be caught by honey than by vinegar. " If you want your 'jaws' to be well received, you had better say something sweet, to counteract all your long abuse. " I am afraid I must shut up now, old boy, as there is a fellow come to fetch me. " Send us a copy of your next. "Yours, very truly, "H.V.W. " Powley Marrack, Esq." Such were the suggestions my friend was kind enough to offer. I have given them m his own words to avoid the trouble of reproduction ; and also, because I have bu great a regard for truth, that I should be sorry, on any account, to relate as ray own, the experiences or sentiments of another ! As for the hospitality of the New Zealandors, of which I had intended to say so much, I shall follow the advice I have been given, and leave it to speak for itself. But there is another thing connected with that subject which must not be passed over — I mean the way m which hospitality is abused. There is an old saying, that the shoemaker's wife goes worst shod ; and one might have supposed that men who made their money (or rather, tried to make it) by sheep-farming, would be chary of thinning their flocks, even to supply their own households. But instead of this, we find oi) every station, an abundance of mutton, generally of very fair quality; and it is given m quantities which at home would have been perfectly ruinous, not to tbe members of the household, and station hands alone, but to travellers, who come m large numbers, and demand it as their due. I said 'travellers'; but m nine cases out of ten they would come under a different denomination amongst the people of the Old Country. We should call them. 'Beggars'; not because they are recipients of charity for which they ask, but because, being able-bodied men, capable of supporting themselves, they spend what they enrn m drunkenness and other excesses, till, having little or none remaining, they are able to plead absolute want m order to make others provide for them. And this is not the blackest part of the picture. There are many cases on record where, trusting to tho feebleness of the law, they have threatened, and sometimes done a wonderful lot of harm, by leaving gates open, outting fences, and even burning, to make retaliation for slights they had richly deserved. Tho squatters naturally consider that it would be infra dig to chargo swaggers for the food and night's lodging which they ask. But there is another way m which something might perhaps be deno to oheck their insolence if not. to damp their importunity. Suppose they were made to cut wood or do some other simple work m retnm for their tucker ; tho respectuble men could not complain, and the loafers would be properly discouraged. However, it may not be prudent for individuals to instituto the change ; and as for combination, that is not to be looked for amongst the squatters. NO. IV. It is wonderful what an amount of work is done by the ladies m New Zealand. In a letter which I gavo last week a friend of mine spoke of some of them having to do a good part of the housemaids' duties, besides being housekeeper, and, m some cases, cook into the bargain. And, indeed, to a Britisher fresh from home, this is one of the oddest features m the social life of tho colony. I shall never (orget the way m which it was first brought home to my mind. I had gone to call upon a friend whom I had known some years beforo m England. Since I saw him last ho had married a lady whom I did not know. I found his house a comfortable looking building from the front and large m comparison with the houses near it. But the grounds hud been so arranged that from tho approach a blank end alone was to be seen without even a chimney to relieve it. "Very like a barn," thought I as I glanced involuntarily at the gable-top m search of an owl-hole. However, u.y opinion was soon changed as I oame round to another side and faced his hall door. It was a good house with large windows and a huge verandah. (Bye-the-way, I wonder why nearly all the private houses here have verandahs?) Before I left England I had no idea that wooden houses wore ever built m such style — so fine' and roomy. On coming to the door, I knocked — I could not ring, as there was no bell (another peculiarity!) — and a very tidylooking person appeared, who, with dignified air, asked whom I wanted to see. She Bhould not have had occasion to ask, but I was thinking of my note-book, and the pages there would be to write concerning the elegant chignon and refined towt ensemble that were before mo — "A colonial parlor-maid ! My word ! what an improvement ou the dowdy objeols that present themselves at home ! Hare is a specimen, neither gaudy uor shabby neither bold nor simpering. A pattern of politeness and refinement ! The old regulation print and cotton cap, of which the latter seemed always on the verge of floating away, and would verity have gone but for the faithful hair pin on the top)— these old emblems of subjection are gone, and liberty nesertß itself, not m the form of tawdry fiut-ry as m radical households of the old country ; but m a becoming dress, at once m-at, ynnpli", and good!" Suoh was the soliloquy which obliged my fair interroguter to ask and repeat her question : " Who do you wish to see ?" Mr W ," said I, at length, recollecting myself, "is he at home ?" " No ; he is not at home : he has gone away for a week," she replied. He ! — Home! — Has!— By Jove,". l muttered, " she doesn't even murder her H's !" " Gone away for a week I Well, and where m the world has he gone to ?" [N.B. — This impertinent question, was asked m another fit of abstraction.] " Out of town," was the answer. " Vory well," said I, *hon please to give him

this card, and say that I'll call when he returns." I did call when Mr W returned, and he introduced me to Mrs W . What my feelings were, as I caught m her the eye, and recognised the forte, ot my friend the parlour maid, may be easily imagined. What could I do ? To apologise for my free and easy manner at our former meeting, would have been to own my mistake and tell Mrs W , that she had been mistaken for a domestic ; yet if I said nothing about it, I was on the nick of being considered a bear. However, it seemed better on the whole to say nothing, so I endeavoured to pass the matter over, changing my manner by slow and as I hoped imperceptible degrees. Thus ended this little episode, and I may add, that, when I came to be better acquainted with Mrs W , she told me of the same mistake being made by another gentleman, who was foolish enough to put himself m the most awful predicament by offering a olumsy apology. So inconvenient is the custom of unswering one's own bell-door, door-knocker I mean ! But there is another reason why I should always remember thut day ; it was then that I first went to one of the famous Canterbury bazaars. It appears that these little exhibitions of polite swindling are all the go m this part of the world : one does hear of suuh things at home, and occasionally, perhaps, is victimised into visiting them, but m England they do not come m such numbers as they do here, nor is it quite so difficult to go to six respectable houses m succession without finding somebody who is working for one. The other day, I was asked to work for a bazaar myself. The person who was charitable enough to make the request, and give me such a chance of doing good, was a lady, who, to a superficial observer, would have appeared to be knitting stockings for her life. At first I really thought she must be, but I was soon unaeceived ; for like the fox m iEaop's fables, who, having lost his own tail iv a trap, tried to persuade his brethren to cut off theirs and be like him — this new acquaintance — alive to the fact that she had been inveigled iuto sacrificing her comfort to do what she heartily disliked — tried to bring { me into a similar state of condemnation. The great propriety of helping was clearly laid before me. The object of the bazaar was to assist some parish to pay off their building debt or to aid m the erection of a school or assembly room or something of the kind. I do not remember which, for to tell the truth, I did not take much interest m the matter. But at any rate, it was to advance the public good iv some form or other. And the great advantage of raising money m this fashion was, that every shilling laid out by the contributors would ultimately bring m ten shillings. In short the sellera would get the thanks, and the buyers bear the burden ; at which the latter could not complain, as it ' really was Jor such a very worthy purpose.' Then again, it would do me personally so much good, to have something to spend my spare time upon. "I might turn a few candlesticks of native wood, make some pretty inlaid boxes, or a set of chess men, anything would do, or if I was not handy enough at the lathe, why, I might very easily do a little carpet wool work ; lots of geutlemen had done such things before ; and the object, you know, was so worthy; would not that be much better than wasting time upon tobacco and yellow-backed novels as I usually did." All this and much more was urged upon me, m a strain of agonised special pleading. But I could not see it ; and so was firm m declining. Since that time I have heard from the same person other arguments for contributing which are even more cogent than those. Amongst them was one which I quote merely on account of its originality. I was told that if I could only bring myself to spend ten minutes a day ou work for the bazaar (and, through it, for the charitable purpose m question), I should find myself rewarded a hundred fold by the healthy tone of mind to which such eteady self-sacrifice would bring me ! This sounded very well at first, and, I own; I felt inclined to make a beginning. But my faith m the prospect was afterwards rather shaken by the discovery that if I did contribute anything, "it could be so easily delivered with the stockings," and, doubtless, m such a manner that it would be taken as coming from the same party. To return to my subject, however. I was going to give a full accouut of my first visit to a Canterbury bazaar. But I am afraid that I shall now have neither time nor space to treat this exalted theme as it deserves. It was much against my will that I was induced to. partake m a scene bo painfully absurd; but I went, I spite of my dislike, and, to be brief, my experiences were as follows : — The bazaar was held m an upstair room. I had to pay a shilling for walking up the stairs and two shillings for arriving at the top. I had scarcely been m the room for half a minute, when I was attacked on all sides by fair nymphs, with flowers for the button-hole, " going cheap at only one and sixpence each." And I had not worn any bouquet long, before the flower vendors or their male accomplices, contrived that it should be cither stolen or spoilt ; after wliioh I was beset with fresh entreaties until I purchased another. Besides many repetitions of this infliction, I was subjected to the company of several old ladies, who, each and every one of them, expressed a wish for one or more bouquets for herself, for which, of course, I paid with rapturous delight. At last a friend consigned to my care his maiden aunt, a lady of some forty summers, who was possessed of a great fancy for the company of a certain gentleman whom ehe could not find ; and wilh her I had to career up and down the stairs six or seven different times, m fruitless search for the beloved object, at a total cost of six shillings for every ascent or descent. I bought several useless little articles to please the makers of them ; and at lost came away, Bick at heart, disgusted, and out of pocket to the tune of five pound ten. NO. V. " We're all of ush je-olly good fellersh ; and we won't go home till morningsh!" seemed to be the prevailing sentiment amongst the assembled multitude (colonial multitude, for there were not more than a few hundred persons) at the races which were held the other day at Geraldine. If I were to follow the order of subjects which I laid down for myself m my . first letter, I should now be writing about the buildings of New Zealand. But, as this was the first race meeting I had attended m the country, I must depart from my rule for onoe, and pass a few observations on what was to me a most interesting occasion. Thore is no place where one can study cliaraoter and physiognomy much better, than m a orowd of excited sight-seers. He may there observe, without being noticed himself by the subjeot of his scrutiny. People, moreover, are more natural ; they cost off much of their habitual restraint, and may be seen m somathing nearer their true colors, when they are assembled iv large numbers, than at other times. The other day they were, all of them — all that great mob of three or four hundred colonists — with just a few exceptions, evidently "jolly good fellows" for the time ; and most of them did not get home till morning 1 There is here a current phrase constantly m the mouths of people of all classes when they meet with a new chum — -a pharse that is generally used with an air of great superiority —which was running m my mind all that day of the Geraldine races. At every turn, for every fresh face that I observed, and every succeeding incident worth noting, I found the same expression on my lips. Do what I would, watch whom I would, go where I would, the tone of everything about me seemed "quite colonial 1" The physiognomy — of mixed English, Irish, and Scotch, the latter m large proportions — was quite colonial I The soraggy little beards, and healthy, sunburnt color on nine-tenths of the faoes there, were quite colonial I The scarcity of females; the re-

markable forwardness of such as were there ; the way they scampered over the course m mad, harum-scarum races with their gallant friends; the nips they took, and the twaddle they talked; these, too, were oX\ quite colonial! The good cloth clothes of the laboring men ; the horses many of them rode ; the great lack of roughs ; the want of gipsies, bpggars, Merry Andrews, Aunt Sallymongers, bun-hawkera, costermongers, orange and nut men, and the usual crowd of boothmen, were also quite colonial ! But perhaps the most colonial feature of all were the two great, all-sufficient, and imposing representatives of majesty — a brace of lordly Bobbies ! mounted and accoutred as if the powers of darkness themselves were there to fight them, and looking as men who felt that they bore indeed, m their own persons, the very soul and essence of imperial power. " What a magnificent sight !" I involuntarily exclaimed, as the .pair of them cantered past me. "By Jove ." said a still newer chum, who was with me, " don't they come it swell !" But I suppose I must not laugh at them. I was forgetting that this is a country where every oue knows every one else, and even policemen can scarcely be criticised as public servants. I hope I have given no offence, and that no one will suppose I meant to be personal. I can assure those worthy gentlemen it was their peelerism 1 alluded to, not themselves. But let me now turn from this noble theme to one not quite so goodly. On one part of the ground was a game, whioh, if it had been more fully attended, might have done honor to the national character, of any country. A little- way back from the crowd was a knot of about a dozen men. Some twelve or fifteen paces from them were a couple of ducks, each securely fastened m a hole, out of whi,ch, except when it stooped, its head protruded; The group of men — if men they were fit to bo called — were m turns taking shots at these hapless creatures with three short cudgels, for the use of which they paid a shilling to the proprietor — happy man! And, I may add, that, before very long, the ducks were both of them dead. A friend of mine, who is rather hot-blooded, and not over careful what he says, gave me his opinion of this moßt refined and scientific amusement m a manner which I will take the liberty of submitting to the judicious reader. He declared "that the sport — for sport (with a sneer) he supposed it was considered ' — was low and blackguardly; he was disgusted with it even to loathing; he would not have thought that Englishmen were capable of such a cowardly thing, deliberately and m cold blood to throw at poor creatures, which were so secured that they could not possibly escape — and to do it as an amusement! It was too infernally disgraceful altogether ; the scoundrels ought to have been kicked off the ground; and those fellows there (with a jerk over his shoulder at the said great men representing the dread majesty of the law) were duffers — rascals— cowardly, pandering, timeservers, for not putting a stop to the pursuit, and taking the brutes into custody. And, after delivering himself of so much abuse, he had the nerve to ask me if I did not agree with him. But I told him that I would not cay -whether X did, at leaat, not m this country, — for it is a free and enlightened country, where fellows may do what they choose, and it is no matter to any one who is not himself interfered with; a country where people are so few that a man must needs keep on good terms with his neighbours for society's sake, and is bonnd, for his own peace, to wink at, if not to truckle to the vices of those around him. So I did not, and will not, say whether I agreed with my friend; but will merely observe, with regard to the ' duck-in-a-hole ' business, that amongst the benighted old slow-ooaeb.es at home, sports of that nature are rarities m no good odour. The races were interesting, and — if races are good m so young a country— they were very creditable. And the by-play, though not so creditable, was interesting too. But to a stranger, who had only come to spy out the land, the great business of the day was round about the booths. There the operation of the shouting system was to be seen m all its glory. Nearly the whole day from when the races commenced, the bars were thronged with men. and scarcely one was to be seen drinking' by himself. There is something genial m the interchange of treats, which, if it did not lead to suoh excesses, wonld incline one to uphold the custom. Certainly it is far less revolting for a man to get drunk from taking too muoh out of compliment to his friends, than, as people do m the old country, from deliberately boozing too long, m selfish solitude. A close observer might many times have seen how the excess was induced. A man would come up to the bar with a friend, take \ a glass with him, return the ' shout,' walk away with him, and not be gone more than i a few minutes before each would return with some other acquaintance to rehearse tho ceremony. In this way men were to bo seen taking upwards of a dozen drinks m the course of an hour or two. lam sure the quantities that some of them secreted were perfectly marvellous, and reflected but small credit on the distillers. And the most peculiar part was, that where scarcely fifty per cent, of the men were really sober, there was hardly one to be seen that was thoroughly drunk. It is true that towards evening some few were becoming quarrelsome, and the tussocks shewed a tendency to hit others on the head ; but there were not many m either class. Good humoured merry-making was the order of the day ; and the forms of intoxication that chiefly showed themselves were the confidential and the affectionate. I had : many a laugh over couples whom I noticed jabbering m an undertone, as if upon the most important subject, about nothing m the world but their deep respect for one another ; and the knowing liitle shakes of tho hand, which followed every fresh profession— as guarantees of good faith, I suppose — were not less amusing. One good instance of a man affectionately tipsy, particularly took my fancy. When I first noticed him, he was holding a friend's hand m both his hands, and looking fondly m the familiar face as he breathed out what, from his tone, I am certain he considered some of the finest possible expressions of sympathy— full of deep meaning and pathos. Throwing his head back, and gazing rather vacantly into the eye of his friend, "We allush wazh," said he, " what we wazh, and (with great emphasis) we'll allush be the shame ! ! " And, as he uttered the last words his heavy head lolled sadly forwards, as if he were really overcome by the effort. So much for what I saw at the Geraldine races. Now for the moral. Granting, as most people will be ready to do, that racing is not m itself of much benefit to any community, I think it is on the whole to be condemned on account of its concomitants. It is very well to talk about improving the breed of horses j but what amouufc of such improvement would compensate for degradation m the breed of men ? There is something m the argument, that these meetings encourage friendly intercourse ; but what of that, if they strengthen or revive evil and ruinous habits t There is one more reason given m favor of racing, and that is, that it brings money into the district ; to which I can only answer, that it takes far more out m exchange for liquor than it brings m for the encouragement of productive labor : which labor, m new countries especially, is the main source ot local, aa of provincial and national wealth. ...-..,

Coiajnial Butter. — By a return recently published, we learn that New Zealand produces annually 5, 199,0721bs of butter; of that quantity Auckland produces 1,153, 7751ba ; Taranaki, 174;8531b5j Wellington, 936,486 lbs; Hawkes Bay, 86, 6351 ba; Nelson, 414,0491b5 ; Marlborough, 93,5711ba ; Cauterbury, 1,247,6701b5; Westland, 13,5221 be; Otago, 921,0551b5; Southland, 156,2561ba; Chatham Islands, 1300lbs. We also learn that the colony produces 2,547,5071bs of cheese. Of this Canterbury produces* 1,'646,3401b5; Auckland, 396, 5981bs ; Otago, 204,4731b5. The balance m produced by the other provinces.