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Thames Advertiser, Volume IX, Issue 2454, 26 October 1876, Page 3

Benjamin Frankliu used to spell soap 's-o-p-e,' and yet there isn't a day but that someone holds him up as a great philosopher and a good man.

A handsome lady entered a dry goods house audeuquiiedfor a "bow". The polite olork threw himself back, and remarked that lie was at her service. " Yes, but I want a'buff, not a green one/' was the reply. The joung ; mau went on measuring goods immediately.

Professor Anderson used to perform some astounding tricks. We have, for instance, seoa him pour several Isiuds of wine—apparettly— out of the «atne bottle. But we know : of far more wonderful bottles .thau the Professor's. There is the most positive testimony; to prove that disorders of tho stomach, kidneys,, and respiratory organs, fevers of an intermittent and remittent type, and all diseases requiring invigorative treatmont, arc cured by tho agreeable contents of the bottles which Ifbkl Udomho Wolfe's Schiedam Arosiatic SCUNAI'I'S.

noUowatjs Ointment ami TVtfa-Sudden cliMges of temperature sorely try all persons subject to rheumatism, seiitt'ca, tic dolorcttx, : iukl many maladies scarcely less painful, though of shorter duration. On the llrst attack of stiffness or sulforing in any muscle, joint, or nerve, recourse should immediately, be had to fomentations o£ thts scat of the disease with hot brine, and by subsequently, ■nibbing in this remarkable Ointment, the uneasiness of the part will he assnatcd, inllauinwtion subdued, and swelling reduced l'lw Pills, simultaneously taken, rectify constitutional disturbances and renew the strengtb, Do remedies heretofore discovered, have proved so effective as the Cintmcmt and Tills for rnnov-. ins gouty,- rheumatic; and scrofulous attacks; which afflict all ages, aud are commonly hereditary, .