BUYING A HAT.

Taranaki Herald, Volume LXVII, Issue 16610, 6 December 1919, Page 5

BUYING A HAT.

WOMAN’S DIPLOMACY. When a man arrives home in the evening and finds Jus wife looking ratnor hectic and triumphant, ho knows tliat either Aunt Matilda is dead or that tho summer sales have started (with tremendous odds on the latter). A wise man lies low and says nothing. Ho lots things develop.' Tho next excitement is tnat dinner is had and lute, or that dinner is prompt and extraordinarily good. The first indicates tliat tfie bargain counter was. barren; the second is proof that a groat and expensive purcxiaso was made. A good dinner is the best diplomatic approach to an examination ot a joint bank balance. “I’m so glad you like the asparagus, darling—have some morel; . . . jfopsy, little wife has such a lovely surprise for you. . . ” The wise man now knows that tho trouble is starting. Ho keeps on lying low. Later in the evening tho wise woman bursts into the room wearing a new andi objectionable hat. She creeps swiftly to the wise man’s chair and Ichna ovor'it. “Isn’t it too perfectly sweet, Fops?’’ “Where did you get that hat? \Vhy on earth do you want another one? You had a now one last month 1” STORING UP FUTURE TROUBLE. “This was so cheap, dear—l simply couldn’t resist it." “What do you call cheap?" “Scven-eloven-eloven.” “Does that mean seven shillings, eleven ponce and eleven farthings?” “Don’t bo absurd, dearest! It was seven pounds eleven shillings and elevenpence. . . Now you’re not annoyed. . . 1” “Josephine,” begins tho wise man in an 1-ean’t-afford-this voice (the wise woman knows at once that something awful is going to happen, because in normal circustances he always calls her Joey). “Now you’re going to be horrid. You grudge me every little pleasure, and I do try so hard oh, men are beastly!” HERE IT ARRIVES. There is no need to carry on this dialogue; there is no need to explain to -all wise men the ultimate end of that horrible hat. Every married man knows that after n. few brief moons have waned the question of a new hat crops up. “But you got a ripping little hat at the sale.” “Oh, that horrid thing—you always hated it, and I can’t wear anything you don’t like.” Some day something familiar about the charwoman attracts tho wise man —of course, tho hat 1 BARGAIN COUNTER SCRUM. This is quite true, isn’t it? What is more, it is going to happen to you again. Already the bargain, hunters are beating the cover and putting up any amount of game. A lioness defending bar young is an agreeable Lousehould tabby compared with Josephine defending her place at tho two-eloven-threo counter. ' In most of the subtle summer sale windows beautiful young things in wax lean amorously towards the plate glass, with an insinuating smile which seems to say: “Wouldn’t you look sweet in this, darling?” Legs of various ■qalibro exhibit the lisle-thread lure among a jumbled maze of coloured delight. It is all very attractive and subtle, and tho man who invented sales must have been a great phychologist. Many husbands would like to meet him. . . It was a great brain which saw that something marked 8s looks expensive, but when marked 7s 113 d appears not only ridiculously; cheap, but also perfectly “sweet,’’ and undoubtedly “ducky.”