“BETTER BE MARRIED A MINUTE ”

Taranaki Herald, Volume LXIII, Issue 144670, 3 May 1915, Page 7

“BETTER BE MARRIED A MINUTE ”

(By Lady Hosie.) (At a recent meeting of tho Isle of Wight Education Committee, Lady Hosio, during a discussion concerning girls marrying, recruits to the Army, said: “Better bo married a minute than die an old maid.” In tho following very “human” article, specially written fur Pearson’s Weekly, .Lady Hosie explains why she takes this view of a question very widely and warmly discussed at present.)

I think it was Gilbert and Sullivan who first made tho immortal remark: “Bettor be married a minute than die an old ijufid.” At any rata, tho quotation flashed into my mind and out of ray mouth tho other day at tho end of a long and solemn education, meeting. The question had been raised whether wo should allow to continue teaching in our schools certain young teachers who wished ti\ bo married at. once to soldiers starting' for tho Front yeiy soon. All the. committee were inclined to clemency except one gentleman, who very properly objected on the soon? of the' girls being possibly left young widows. I happened to he at the tune the. only representative of my sox in the room, or I would probably not hove dared to voice such outrageous sentiments m so flippant a tone. However, all my hearers-most gallantly responded with the words,; “Better be married a minute than die an old bachelor. So wo were quits. But the whole question whether soldiers and sailor.-, just off to the danger j-one should marry before starting must be seriously exercising many minds today. The heart says "Yes;” but does common sense say “Nof”

WHAT ABOUT THE RISKS?

Here is a plucky man, going out to icy seas with murderous mines beneath tlieir surface, or into waterlogged trenches; and we can realise what clue: and comfoi I it would bring lam to know that lus wife is thinking of him and keeping hit. home warm for him. If w feel this, how much more does the woman who loves him . She has always the chance, moreover, of having him homo for a few days. Though ho has probably been unable to make a home lor her, half the oitterness has been taken out of their parting by ber beautiful business ot making a homo ready for him. One young wife I knew, married in August' to a naval lieutenant, is now spending her time in drear:' lodgings in a seaport town, away Irom her own family and old comfortable house, in the hope of giving him the happiness of home so dear to an Englishman during his few and problematic days' leave. This is why the soldiers' and sailors’ brides of to-day are a-jog with m-

patience to hasten their marriage day ; whereas in peaceful times they teased and procrastinated in a way truly aggravating to the itinu. it is a question ot his iito and death, and shilly-shally-ing is over for her. I am sure many a girl engaged to a man out in the tiring lines has untold but racking nightmares in which she sees her loved one slain. That is why wo have so many marriages of wounded soldiers who go back, again to Uto Front recovered. The girl knows that, if she hold hack from tho ntarriugc only from selfish reasons, raid he was stiickeu, dire remorse that she had failed him would be her portion through life. Her version of my quotation is: "Hotter ho married a minute only than fail the man you love." Of course, there are many cases whore it would ho foolish and wrong to enter into such marriages. The couple mav ho too young, they may have other duties that come first, or tho question of pounds, shillings, and pence may interfere, i do not tor a moment advocate rash alliances of lightly eome and lightly go loves that would have been wrong ill times of peace ; neither do I advise a girl to marry for the uniform alone; nor do I tell a man to take a girl from her old home if they have absolutely no means of livelihood iu case the worst should happen, and I must warn him against a young gil l's enthusiasm.

THE "WIFE ALSO SERVES. But if they arc engaged before the war, or have learned to know, esteem, and love each other well, let ns not refuse to give them our sympathy as well as our approval m that they wish to dedicate their united lives to ibcir country, It will not hurt her to share in his sacrifice, and ho will admire her tho more for her courage to lace the gnawing anxiety while he faces Gorman guns. Indeed, we should rather thank heaven that our British soil still yields women in every rank who can confront tho future with ns unflinching and high a spirit as breathes in our "Incorrigible” laughter-mongers in the trenches. Worthy mates are they of men who are a long' way from that soft degeneracy attributed to them by gibing German fools.

I am sorry for the bride’s father; yet I would ask him whether it would not he bolter for, his daughter to ho left a widow than in the painful and anomalous position of a girl whoso sweetheart has died?

Foolish people nro' apt to think her heartless if she over smiles again, though they think it is a duty in a widow to hear her sorrow bravely. If she remains unmarried, she misses so much in life; and if she is a widow, she may have a child to make life worth living. The public pessimist,, who is always with us, usually foresees tho happy young bride as a care-worn woman of fifty supporting a maimed husband and a dozen children on nothing a year,- and supposes he will bo ruined paying her a pension or subscribing to some fund on her behalf. CHII/DEEN WILL BE WANTED BADLY. Well, I am not sure that tho dozen v, ; '! bo ton many, if the children have the same bright spirit ns their parents; for we shall, alas! need very many fine, clean children to fill our depleted ranks and carry on our traditions, lacking in '‘Culture” though these may bo! You notice I give tho bride’s mother no sympathy, for the excellent reason that she would herself have done exactly as her daughter. She probably disguises that fact; for she dreads the pain she knows the future holds for tho girl. Still, she knows it is the “Price of Love,” and that a woman, is most truly happy only when thoroughly uncomfortable for tho sake of her loved one. What concerns the general public at tho present moment is whether married

men are as courageous as unmarried. A facetious friend of mine, when Kitchener was asking for unmarried men first, teased me by talking of the great rush there would be to tho Colours if he had only called for married men. His idea was that any man who plunged into matrimony deserved a cross for valour!

The thought of the wife and child at home, hnwevbr, often nerves the arm of the fighter, as one of tho recent letters from tho Front illustrates. One of our men told iiow a German, whom ho had had to bayonet in a trench, called out something about his wife and children. “Did you spare him?” ho was asked. “No,” replied our friend slowly; “i thought of my oufn wife and children, and gave him another prod.” Rather a horrid little story, if you like; but the husband was grimly determined the foe should not knock at his door.