THE JENKS MOTOR.

Taranaki Herald, Volume LIV, Issue 13636, 15 April 1908, Page 2

THE JENKS MOTOR.

(By Max Adeler.) A man named Jenks came down to our village, some years ago, with a machine which he called "The Jenks Motor." Jenks said that it was the most wonderful discovery of the age. He said that the motive power was nothing but water. All you had to do was to pour a bucketful of water into the "receiver," and it was instantly decomposed into gases, and then the gases started the machine, which Jenks said would run from here to Peru with hajf a pint of water. And Jenks said his main idea in coming to New Castle was to give the people a chance to subscribe to some of the stock of the motor company. Jenks said he knew ho was throwing away his own chances j by selling the stock, but he was a Ehilanthropist, and he wanted to give is follow men an opportunity to go into a big thing. So he > set the machine up in an office, which was the only room on the main floor in the building, so that there would be no chance for fraud, and we all went around to see it work.

First he poured some water into the receiver, then he churned it up wr£h a kind of a revolving paddle, then" he opened the valves, and stamped on the floor, and the crank began to revolve with great rapidity. We all thought it was wonderful, and Jenks said that the word didn't express the idea in fullWe examined the machine, and sa\v that there were neither fire nor chemicals about it, nor any smell of gas; and Jenks said that We must now- confess that it was just about the grandest achievement of the human intellect. Doctor Potts was about to admit the fact when the crank slowed up, and wo Heard a vehement: "At— chew!"

Apparently the sound came from beneath the floor. It sounded like a man sneezing, but Jenks said it was merely a violent expulsion of gas from the cylinder; and as the crank went ahead again rapidly, we all thought lie must be right. A minute later we heard another :

"Ah-ah-ah-chew-w-w !" > And then the machine stopped until it was over. Doctor Potts began to look cross-eyed at Jenks, as. if he suspected something, but Jenks said it was one of the peculiar properties of these decomposed gases to push out of the cylinder with a violent hissing sound, and, although he had tried to prevent it, ho found it to be impossible.

Then the machine went on again swiftly, and Jenks was just directing our attention to the pressure-gauge, which stood at 600 pounds to the square inch, when the machine' came to a dead halt, and we heard, evidently in the cellar : "

" Ah-ah-ah-chew-ow-ew ! Begorra, but I'll sneezo the head off me ef I keep on." Then the crank began to revolve again; and Jenks : getting very red in the face, said indignantly : "Which of you gentlemen has been playing a trick on me by practising ventriloquism? It isn't the square .thing." * . , Before anybody could' answer we heard another terrific sneeze in the cellar, accompanied with an exclamation : "Mother of Moses, but it bates the divil down here for ketchin* cowldl"

The machine came to a dead halt, and presently a square yard- of the £oor began to bulge up.' Directly; a hXxman .head appeared through the opening, and an Irishman crawled out ,&#» the room. Jenks looked ready to faint; and the man,, getting, up and brushing the cobwebs off; his hat, said : . "Mr Jinks! It's meself that's just tired of turnin' that infernal crank down there in that dark hole. The rats is nibblin' me legs, and it's so blasted damp that Fin ketchin' me 'death o' cowld. I'm goin' %o give up the job." While he was speaking, Doctor Potts discovered a fine wire running from the crank to the cellar, and hidden By the machinery. Jenks turned white, and stammered out: "This is painful, gentlemen, very painful. But the fact is I—l—lI — I— l hadn't quito got my receiver to working right, and I wanted — I thought — I — that is I Oh, hang it, I'm going to quit." And "Jenks darted through the door, and left town. He didn't sell any stock

in New Castle.