ALTERATION'S AND REPAIRS. A DOCTOR'S TENDER.

Taranaki Herald, Volume XLVIII, Issue 11581, 13 October 1900, Page 4 (Supplement)

ALTERATION'S AND REPAIRS. A DOCTOR'S TENDER.

A gentleman who recently visited some relatives in Taranaki, writing to them after his return to his home, gives the following amtißing details of an ailment ho suffered from and the remedies applied. •' I hnve had (btt says) a pretty bad attack of relaxed uvula and throat trouble, but hope now, in a few days, to be ns well an usual. At prosent I am taking and applying the following : — Tannin lozenges, saltpetro tablets, peppermint lozenges, Ellersley'fl embrocation, vinegar and sngar with a little water added, and a garglo, oatmeal gruel, and a respirator. Doctor considers that all my 'trouble

arises from a fearfully elongated uvula ; he says that the other end of it has got into my bowels and got destroyed by the gastric juices and digested in the form of pulp, and that it is a very serious complaint. He considers I shall have to undergo several operations, the first brii)£ to open tho pit of the stomßch and by means of a small yrappliag-iron to fish up the other end of the tivulo, then to put his arm into the stomach, and thrust back the uvula intotis thonx, after which it has to be got at th'ongh ( the month with the finger aud thumb, and cut off with tho garden shears, an 1 then gently cauterised with tho nozjiL* of a pair of bellows made red hot. He offers to do that lot for five guineas as I ;iui a persoual friend of his, and also to put, the following internal arrangements into woiking order: — Vnt, in a new thorax wkh Dr. Simp-ion's paten i uon>uh k» io;> uval'i, couijjleta LI 4, 0 1. P»<t- -<t diabetes proof kid-. •m*vs »ad fisiag 1.3 3^ol. " iiii'e u-jvv set of fcoeih and i"<" r «c.ii>£r»itiinij-* wich i>mhm ii.'- .iew pitenG stu u^-ex-t.'U3'.cr L 5 o-i Od NT.-W maia-sf ring Tjl 1-, ()J. Bullock'^ livor, hot from the untmt. 2-j 6d. Takin? i»uc old livar and iniernuy; tho forntir L 2 2-. 0 ; . Net? main pipe from '-.iioMx to thH aodeniiry h^okious L44i Ud Uoring long tunnel au-1 m- . sorting same * L 3 3toi One ne v cog-wheel in rtigy?tivo apparatus ani clti&um>; and oiling several orW ouea LI ly Oi. Taking out right lv iij and boiling same and reinserting L"2 2b Od Administrating cbloroform for operaiious L 2 2< 0.1 Attending funeral after sue* cessful operations L 3 3i OJ. New suit; of clothes for the occisioo and puttiug on praternaturally solemn coantenau«o L 7 7s 03. There are a few other minor operations such as extracting stone and gravel from my system, hut, lie say?,-as he is going to improve the pathway to his front door, he could use the etoiH and gravel and therefore would not make any charge for that item. 1 ' A man who could contemplate so serious a matter in so humourous a spirit certainly deserves to recover uh health.