CHAPTER X.

Taranaki Herald, Volume XLVII, Issue 11340, 5 October 1898, Page 2 (Supplement)

CHAPTER X.

By BERTHA M CLAY, Author of How Will it End ; One Woman's Sin; A Broken Vow, &c. {

• ARK'S words had cleft the sweet spring air like a sharp arrow with a poisoned barb ; they had pierced the heart that loved him, and I fell upo» the grass like one dead. My heart was pierced, my whole soul crushed- There I lay in the first smart of my angnish. For a few minutes aH was darkness and* oblivion, and then Mark tried to raise me. ' I have killed yon Nellie,' he said — ' I fcanre killed y«u/ ' No,' I answered, raising my white, miserable face to his ; 'it is worse tha» that. Do not touch me. Leave me here. ♦I knew—l knew!' he said. 'I would have died to save you fhis.' A sudden overwhelming sense of scorn for him, of loatking for myself, a hot, fierce passion of defiance, seized me, my whole frame vibrated with passion. • You are what V I cried, ' Say it again —let me be sure t*hat I have heard aright. You are what ?' • I am married, Nellie.' * Married, and jou have been wicked' enough, coward enough, to let me say all that I have said. You have been mean enough to let me pour out my heart, to let rae lavish my love on you. How could you'? Why «id you not tell me when first you saw^ me ? How dare you take me in your arms and kiss -m« when ■ you knew al the time that jon belonged to sowe one else. • Forgive, me Nelrle, I can never forgive myselt I had not time to think,' he said humbly. ' I shall never respect myself again,' I cried. ' And I thought chat Heaven bad sent you in answer to my longing and my prayers. Give me back my words of welcome, me' back my kisses. They were for a tnw lover not for you. Give me back my lovei Believe me, before Heaven, had I known, had I guessed or tboughi thaWpu were married, not one euch word wcftld have crossed my lips.' ' I know, 1 he said humbly. •You are married. Oh, I cannot beliive it. You are tmtfg me. You want to see if my love "Da true ; you are testing my faith. You cannot be married ; you could sot marry anyone but me. . , ' Alas Nelliei'it is tree, 1 he cried, bitterly. « True!' I flung up my arms in despair. Mark had decdved me ; Ma«k was uotrae to me ; Mnrc my hero, my brave lover was false. Could any shame, and degradation, equal mine? I Had flung my arms round tip neck, I Bad kissed him, I had called fii™ by every loving name that oae could give to another, and he was, married I H» love, his caresses, belonged to some other woman, not to me. The beauty ot his dark face, the memory of Jiis love, seemed to creep into ray hefflrt and set it on fire again. Mad, passionate jealousy seized mo. ' Whom have you married V I cried. I1 shall kill her if I see her. She shall not live who has stolen my love from me/ * She did not know, Nellie,' |he said, speaking in the same low tone' * She knew nothing of it. It was all my fault, dear. Qukikly as it had come, the flame of jealously died away. The light had gone from the sky, and the beauty from the green earth. I was alone with my , desolation and sorrow. The greatness of my loss came home to me. Mark was living and weli; he was here in my sight; but we were parted forever. No grave dug by human hands could be so deep as the one that lay between us. He was there, bat no longer mine. I mast love him and cares* him no more.

I had mourned for him as absent, I had wept for him as dead ; but I had never thought of him as caring for anyone else in the wide world — be had been so entirely my own. 'Nellie,' he said in a low voice, 'do you know that I fell like a murderer ? I have blighted the sweetest life ; I have killed the truest love ; I have betrayed the most loyal faith ever placed in man. . Oh love, yonr eyes look like those of a wounded dove, and I may not comfort you any more. ' No, never again in thin world, Mark. No comfort, no consolation can come from you to me. I — oh, I love you dearly. Since that May morning when we met beside the lilac trees, my heart has been full of you. It has held nothing else. When I thought you dead.l consecrated my life in loving memory of you. I cold have taken my love into the spirit world, pure unchanged and untouched ; while you — you are married It is enough to make the angels weep ! I know I have kissed you and poared out my love to you who are no longer free.' The next thing I heard was the terriblft sound of my own hysterical laughter breaking among the trees. Such wild horrible langhter as it was. I could not help it ; I tried in vain to .stop. 1 A married man,' I cried over and over a*gain. ' A married man.' And I believed him to be.-my true lover Mark. He came to me. He would not heed my passionate cries that he should let me alone, that he should not touch me. He raised me from the ground ; he removed the grass and leaves from my hair ; he took my "hands and held them in his. « Nellie*' he said, ' try to listen to me, my dear. You will kill yourself if you give way like this. - Was it of any -use to say that I hoped I should, of any Use to struggle, to free my hand 6 from his strong clasp ? • Ob, my- bruised and beating heart, it was not. • * Try, my darling, try, Nellie, for the sake of old times, to li9ten to me,' he pleaded. ' You must not call me darling,' I cried, bitter jealously flaming in my heart again. ' you have another darling now. You have someone else to love and caress, and call you own. . And in some vague way I knew by the groan that came from bis lips that I was his darling still, and that he did not love this other, let her be who she might. The knowledge seemed' to afford me some little' consolation, But it was only for a moment. Then common sense said, What was the love of a married man to me. . 'Nellie — I will not call you darling again, since it grieves you — will you try to listen to me ? For the sake of old times, and the old dear love, let me tell you all that has happened. You will judge me mercifully, you were always kind and I Oh, Nellie, I am not happy. lam the most miserable man ia the whole world. If I were happy, if I came to you in the insolence of a prosperous love, if my face were bright, and my heart light, then, ah, then you would have no reason to spurn me, to hate and despise me. But you have a true woman's heart, my lost love ; and women are always pitiful, always merciful. Listen Nellie, before you judge me. Mind, I am not excusing myself — even in my own eyes I am a pitiful fellow. Bat you will hear and judge. The wild tumult of passion was dying down ; and thi raptore and ecstasy of happiness, followed by the passion of despair, had exhausted me. I sat down on the grass again ; my strength failed me. 1 leaned my head against the trunk of a tree. The wind brought the odour of the lilacs to me fresh and sweet. I grew calm with the serenity of despair. I would listen to all he had to say, and then ri9e up and go from him. My thoughts grew confused, and everything was dim and indistinct iv my sight ; and when I came to the real consciousness of w'.vat wa3 passing. Mark was kneeling before me, holding my hands tightly clasped his, and speaking in a low, clear tone.