Matrimonial Mishaps.

Taranaki Herald, Volume XLI, Issue 9475, 22 August 1892, Page 4

Matrimonial Mishaps.

'COMICALITIES OF A WEDDED LIFE.

THEIR FIRST AND LAST NJQHT ON ." ' THEIR RANCH. '/Tub view from tho verandah is beautiful," said Mrs WilsoD, ironically. "Have 3 ou. decided iv which wing wo will havo our suite ol! rooms? Speaking of places - to live in, n hy, that stage station is a castle _ ,in comparison with this hole. A well-bred . ■kank woull not live in that place," and /■he pointed her firuor scornfully at Mr • Wilflon'a summer residence. ," "Anna, tho fellow of whom I bought -, this property, lied to iuo like a trump ! I ,•; traded- it for some Florida land that I con- , .aidercd.v or; bless ; but I have been shame"fdlly tricked. Hills upon bill", and rock .;ff3m bottom to top. Cattle range 1 Wby, V sheep would die of starvation if he had ,<every blade of graua that grows on iwelve thboaand acres of such land ! I willnntch . myeelf, to eat every green blade of grass -'there is in this county in fivo hours; fie '■aid it would net coat mo much to stock • |t. That.was Ihe only troth he uttered. , A hen and a rooster, "with Brown's goat, : would. Block the who.'o State, Yes, and ,'the range would be overstocked at that. I

v froal I' sooner " • ' '", Look out 1 There comeß a mountain ..lion 1" cried Mrs Wi'son, as ehe made a house. '"■'"Antelope, by the Eternal!" jolled ' viWilsOD, as a jack ribtit dashed by down ,lhe mountain. - J ''-. " Ifc'it gone, llenr < y?"Hh3 asked, looking , ontof the door. - " ,_"YaB, and not a minato too soon. If I r h»d taken' my gun out of the trunk, we wonld have had antelope steak for dinner," b« replied. -< t f "Antelope nothing ! It was a lion." -■''Lionl Madam, whoever saw a lion with ears two fee', long, and a white tail!" .he retorted, unlocking his trunk and taking Oat bra gun. ' '■,«■ What aro we going to do ? That is - wliat I want to know. We will be robbed •ad eaten up if we stay Here." ■ "We have our lunch with us, and I foar we will have to sleep standing up. I will ktand'gunrd, and it will be a dandy that can BUrpnse us," he said, drawing himself . to his full height.

"Twish I were home," she Bighed. " Here is the key to the house. The fornitnre ia all left m place," Wilson aaid, , throwing the key at the door. " I will breathe easier after the rascal who deceived me goea to Florida to Bpend the winter. Perhaps he will Eend us a box of oranges raißed in that swamp I traied pirn.'be cbockled. •'Woll. I guess tbe Bwamp will produce .. as much as thtsa rocks," Bhe said. " Prodnce ! Wby, Anna, this would not produce a woodchuck hole. A moaely goat would' commit suicide to avoid starvation if he'wae tnrned out on theßo hills. Well, we must preparo for the nigbt. It is almost etmJown." '• " What is that coming down the bill ?" asked Mrs Wilßon, ncrveusly. • " Into the house, Anca 1 It's a bear, ■me as guns V niid Wilson, running into "the house, followed by his wife. "Hold the "donr, end I will shoot from tbiß winiow." A coyote cam ) slowly trotting down the i mountain. Throwing up bis head, he sniffed thti air ; then sitting quietly on his - hannphes, he lookod wistfully at the house. •_ Wiißon took a long tirao to get his gun t in position, and firtd. At tho report of the gun iho coyote ran off. .-' "Did you kill it, Henry ?" asked Mrs . Wilson, running to the window. "I am not in tho habit of miesing bear ftt that rango. When the emoko clears up you will see him " "I bpo him no.v I I never saw anything run like that Is it a .volf or a dog ?" - ■ "You take the cake in natural history — '' "There, he'B stopped," Bbo cried. " Dead as a door-nail 1 I knew ho lnd received^ a death-shot. Now we will see . what il is," ho Bind, going out. Away went tho coyote as so n ns he law Wilsol.

(To le continued )