SMILERS.

Taranaki Herald, Volume XXXVII, Issue 8275, 22 September 1888, Page 4

SMILERS.

A little boy wks one day told the names of the first man and woman. The next % d»yh? had forgotten tbem, so his teacher aaiil, ll The man's name w»s Adam, now what .was the woman's ?" wben the little boy quickly answered " Madam." J A fair visitor (to convict": "I suppose, sirj that the singing of tbe birds relieves tha monotony of your dreary life?" Convict (pro-i foundly nonplussed): ".The singing of theJ>irds,' miss ?" Fair Vi»hor : "Yes, sir, the little gaol birds, you know. They must be «uoh a boon.'* J She stood by the open window, and as the old. man come into tbe toorn, with a finger on her, lips she bade 1 him hush. Then, as the last) notes of tho lawn mower in the adjoining yardt died awny, sbc turned with a look of raptuie on her fate. '«Ah, papa," she said, "isn't Wagner, simply exquisite?' 1 . ', Washington Editor ( to reporter) : "Did you' see Dan Lhmont?" Bcporter : ".Yes, sir.", Editor: "And what did he say about the> Piesident's going in for a second t«m?'* Reporter : "He laid he didn't know anything about what the President intended to do ? ' Editor (rubbing his hands): "Good! make about a column of it."

The Chinese aro very practical in tbeir religious ideas. IfaOod whose business it is to bring rain overdoes it and causes a deluge, they take him out of the Joss house and set him down in tbe shower. If this fails to make him dry up, they go to-lhe extremity of towing him behind a boat in the river to contince him that too much of a good thing is as bad as too little Not Dangerou*.— Little Girl to lady : " (Sister's awfully sorry, but she can't see you to-day." Lady (compassionately): "I am very sorry, Mabel. 1 hope she is not ill." Little Girl* : " Oh, no ; she's Retting engaged." A youth who was being examined in English hif ory was asked the question : '• With what crime was Lord Bacon charged ?" Ho^ hesitated a moment, and then .answered as if by an nspiralion : " With writing Shakspeare'i plays."