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Taranaki Herald, Volume XXXVI, Issue 7980, 26 September 1887, Page 3

The best valne for money is Crook's American Dried Yeast. Ought to bo in ©very household, either in twopenny packets, sixpenny packets, or 71b. tins. Ask your grocer for it. — R. Cock, Brougham-street, Wholesale Agent for Taranaki. — Advt. 3—3 — Jack Hardup writes : " One of the roost mortifying experiences in the life of a man is to have somebody ask him the time of day while his watch is at the jeweller's for repairs. He absent minded ly takes out a bunch of keys attached to the chain for the purpose of keeping it in place, and the more he says * jeweller,' the more the other fellow thinks ' pawnbroker. 1 " The average minister is disposed to be familiar. One day when a pastor was out dining with two 'members of his flock, he asked the little boy, who was placing around, if his pa said grace. The little one said : "I don't know what grace is." The pastor sought to explain himself by asking : " What does your pa say every day when he sits down to dinner ?" The little fellow replied : "He says, 'Oh Jupiter ! is this- the best you can do ?' " A friend of ours says it is a remarkable fact that when the price of eggs gets very high the hens quit laying. The man who mtde this observation is a brother to the chap who discovered that larga rivers always runs past large cities. The desire to say some great thing has prevented the utterance of many a wholesome word, and anxiety to accomplish some wonderful work has crushed in the bud many a humble deed of exceeding grace and sweetness. "Did you* execute this deed without fear or compulsion from your husband ?" blandly asked Judge N — of a large, fiercelooking woman in a law suit" " Fear or compulsion I He compel me 1 You don't know me." The judge remarked in a low voice that he was glad of it. Lover of Music : " Have you tha ' Lost Chord,' Miss Ethel ?" Miss Ethel : " I think so ; it is here (rummaging her music) somewhere, if I can only find it." Miss EtheFs mamma : " Don't trouble yourself, darling ; I have a whole ball of twine downstairs. (To the lover of music) — pray excuse me for a second." The Duke of Roquelaire was told one day in Paris that two hdies had quarrelled. "Have they called each other ugly or old ?" asked the duke. " No, air." "Very good — then I shall be able to reconcile them." The most truly religious thing that a man can do is to fight his way through habits and deficiencies, and back to pure manlike elements of his nature, which are the ineffaceable traces of the Divine workmanship, and alone really worth fighting for. " I received a lot of rejected manuscripts to-day," said Titmarßb to a friend . " Did you ? I had no idea you had any ambition to shine as an author." " Not exactly that. You see, my sweetheart and I quarrelled, and she returned all my letters." The editor prepared a paragraph in which he eaid : "We legret to say that Mr. Dash is hopelessly ill." Before going to press Mr. Dash died, and a hasty alteration was made in the sentence, to meet the new condition of affaire. Wheu Mr. Dash's friends read in their paper " We regret to say that Mr. Dash is hopelessly dead," they were naturally shocked. A little girl who had listened to a temperance address for the first time in her life was so impressed and interested that she went home and wrote out the following rather novel pledge :—"I: — "I promise not to drink rum, or wine, or brandy, or smoke, or swear, or cider either." She signed it, and got several of her playmates to sign it also. ""it ought to be in every home. Crook's American Dried Yeast, has only to be tried to have its firet-class valuo appreciated. Do not fail to nek your grocer for it. — RCock, Brougham-street, WholeEulo Agent for Taranaki. — Advt. 4—4 — "Bough on ' 3."—/ for Wells' " Bough ori Cori; Quick relief, complete, permanent cure. O. us, warts, buoJOQ.6, At ohemietß andi^ /giste, «~8

"Rough on Itoh."— " Rough on. Itch," careß skin humors, eruptions, ring worm, tetter, salt rheum, frosted feet, chilblains, itch, ivy poison barber' itch. 3— Holloway's Pills and Ointment. — The combined ill effects of overcrowding, sedentary occupations and monotony of life are only too well known to those who have to pass the best part of their lives labouring in factories and woikrooms. The compulsory confinement weakens the general health and induces chronic constipation, indigestion, and various forms of skin diseases. Holloway's remedies are of priceless value to persona of this class, for they can be used without entailing loss of work, being purely vegetable in their composition, and consequently^ act without harshness on the most delicate system. The experience of more than forty years proves that no means surpass Holloway's remedies for curing bad legs, bad breasts, piles, and wounds of all kinds. ' oo 1. Extract from letter of Private Ward, of the Frontier Mounted Police, Cape Colony, —"I should just like you to see the real farm'Tunue Bread that I bake. The oven is one dug in the ground, and is just large enough to hold onr daily quantum of two loaves. We use flour, water, salt, and Bobwiok's Baking Powdeb. My bread often surpxdses me, it ia so light, and white as snow. Some of our men will insist that I have been 'in the trade,' and nothing I can say will convince them to the contrary." N.B.— This invaluable articlemaj Toe obtained of all grocers and storekeepers in d .and 2d. packets and 6d. and la. patent oxei.