SMILERS.

Taranaki Herald, Volume XXXVI, Issue 7979, 24 September 1887, Page 4

SMILERS.

Hail fellows. — ' Bus-conductors, Quite a Hushing Business. — The football, player's. 1 Deeds Done in the Flesb. — Those drawn on parchment. Old Saw Re-set by a Lady..— A bird on the bat is worth two in the bush. Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge 1 —because it requires gtinding. Investors' Should Copy "This Out a Few Times, — " TBe prospect is always fide' in the prospectus." The bond of society is obedience to l|w and the obligation of all law, human or Divine, rests on the doctrine of responsibility. Considering all the idiosyncraoies ,bf the English language, it -is fair to assume that we call tbe bird a crow because mortal hjan never heard it crow at all.

" Charlie 1" — she called across the car, "did you ever see a King?"" Of course," replied the young man. "And were they grand 7 ' " Not very — not near as grand as fonr aces"

Sword and Gun. — A clerer witticism ii attributed to the late Prince Imperial. When asked why people always said, " braf c as a sword," and never •' brave as a cannon," he replied. " Because a cannon always recoils when it is fired."

' Young American very forward. " I'll put a head on you," said a gamin to a companion. ''You try it," was the quick reply, " and yonr mother's monkey will be a cherub in yen seconds." Talking shop. — Physician (examining rural editor for life insurance purposes); "Your circulation does not 'seem to be impaired ?" Editor: No j we're printin* 630 copies a week now, agin only 600 a year ago 1"

Ao elderly wit wa*,.. called 'to present his congratulations to a New York 'bank president on thelatter's birthday,." Well, my friend," said the wit, " How old are you ?" " Serentyfive." Hum, seventy-five ; Well, I hope you'll rise to par."

Con. For Young Ladies.— Which letter in the alphabet is of the, jitmost importance to a young lady, and why? — The letter"}," because upon it depends whether her life would be married or marred.

More Entertaining. — " Do many of your male students study art V inquired a visitor of the professor who was showing him the studio in a College for both sezei. *' No," was the Jeply, " they study heart."