SMILERS.

Taranaki Herald, Volume XXXVI, Issue 7961, 3 September 1887, Page 4

SMILERS.

The Air Apparent. — A fog. A Counter- Feat. — Passing a bad sixpence. Articles of Wide Spread Popularity. Umbrellas. Life is a skort day, but it is a working day. — Hannah More, Purposes, likes eggs, unless they be hatched into action, will run into rottenness,— Smiles. What in a woman is called " curiosity" in a man is grandiloquently magnified into the "spirit of inquiry." Hotel proprietor : "We don't allow any games of chance here." This isn't a game of chance. My friend here has no chance." Young shavers. — Joiners apprentices. An Oration "Full of Figurative Language,— The Budget speech. Where would the very stones cry out ?— ln a howling wilderness. If yon would not have affliction visit you twice, listen at once to what it teaches. A tinsmith in the country has a sign which reads, " Quart measures of all shapes and sizes sold here." A. man is, in general, better pleased when he has a goo's dinner upon his table than when his wife speaks Greek. — Samuel Johnson. No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more than she c*n be witty only by the help of speech. — Hughes. Brown says that choosing a wife is very much like ordering a meal in a Paris restaurant when youjdo not understand French. You may not got what you want, but you will get something. Boston mother : " Oh, yes, all my daughters are in society now 1 My youngest came out last week." Chicago woman : "We say 1 made her debut' out West. Oh, bytbe-way, has she made a mash yet ?" Judge every man by what he cannot do, and aud you will find no man of ability. Judge every' man by what he has accomplished in the fields with which he is familiar, and yon get at bis real size. * New Use For Encyclos, — A lady lately accounted for the sudden arrival of her son from Cambridge by explaining that he • • had ridden all the way on his encyclopaedia. He was the Wrong Colour. — A few days agoa very handsome woman entered a country draper's and asked for a bow. The polite assistaut drew himself up and remarked that _ he was at her service. "Yes; but I want a' buff, not a green one," was the reply. •' Johnny, here you are at breakfast with your face unwashed 7" said his mother. "I know it, mamma. I saw the little things that live in water through papa's microscope last evening, and I'm not goin' to have them crawlin' over my fece with their funny little legs 1"