Untitled

Taranaki Herald, Volume XXXVI, Issue 7961, 3 September 1887, Page 2

Laundrymen are the most humble and forgiving beingß on earth. The more cuffs you give them the more they do for you.

A physician once boasted to Sir Henry Halford, saying, " I was the first to discover the Astatic cholera, and communicate it to the public."

A f ashion paper says .—". — " Charming caps for breakfast are of muslin, have mob crowns bordered with scant ruffles," It ioesn't say how they are cooked, and we don't believe we can eat 'em no matter how they were served up.

In the New Zealand Gazette h the Colonial Treasurer" is rendered into Maori as the " Minita whakahaere i nga mono o to coroni," whics being literally translated is " The Minister who makes to travel the money of the colony." The phrase is singularly applioable to the present holder of tho office.

It was Herbert Spencer who made the following definition of evolution : — "Evolution is a change from an indefinite, incoherent homogeneity to a definite, coherent heterogeneity through continuous differentiations and integrations." It was the mathematician, Kirkman, who trans* lated the definition into plain English : " Evolution is a change from a nohowish, untalkaboutable, all-alikoness to a some-, howish, and in-goneral-talkaboutable not-iit-aH-alikoneoß by continuous somethingelsefications and sticktogetherations."

The most wonderful sight oC the whole Jubilee was the Queen or! Hawaii trying to set her watch by the automatic weighing machine in a London railway station.

"Mother, have I got any children?" asked little Johnny xf'izzletop, '" Why, no, child; what put that into your head V" <; I road in the Bible about children's children. That's what put it into my head."

A lately deceased politician used to tell a utory o£ a policeman, who recovered on d steamboat v pocketbook which had been stolen from a certain bishop. "I did not want nny reward ," said tho policeman, " and I would not have taken anything, but I did think the bishop might have said : 'Oh, damn it, Smith, take ten bob.' If he had juat daid that I should have been satisfied."

A Turk named Sabath has been fined* in Sydney for selling indecent photos in Adelaide. It is hard to keep til© SftbatU holy in Adelaide,