WISE AND OTHERWISE

Temuka Leader, Issue 10362, 7 September 1922, Page 3

WISE AND OTHERWISE

A vise man is now described as one who Is not as mmy kinds ef a toed sbs the average.

He was trying to kiss her. “Don't! Stop!" cried the gitL That's the way XlcSe are. ■■■ A 9 » - •. « A tool Insists on haring W* own Way, hot a wise man merely has ft and says nothing. ■ » A doctor asserts that the people who tofca anulf id clear theftr brafcas have no - *- « « Many a man’s head swims tbe next morning frmDlrytngtodrown his sorrows the night before.

When a woman holds a man in the hollow of her hand she can palm off any kind wt talk to Mm.

Home, declares a cynic, has its use if it osect oafer affords a men a whwe he can vent hte tan»er.

- * V Shay who Inst their .bread upon the ■.water**’ are said to expect sandwiches to be returned to them.

Fran a woman’s point of view a man with a broken heart is always more interesting than one with a broken, nose. • • « 9 "I once proposed to a girl in a conservatory" “With what result?" "A lot of expensive plants were nipped by frost.*’ I ' * ft * w The latest bowler describes a problem as “a figure by which you do things which are-absurd, and then yon prov€~ it,” .■ij* • 9 « Author: “Have yon read my now book?” Friend; “Well, to be candid with you, I thinkx the covers are too far apart” » - < . At the County Court.—Counsel: “I wish my client were-, here instead of, as, 1 expect, lying imbed.” His Honour; “Perhaps'he iir»better lying in bed than lying here.”

Clergyman (lately-come-to-parish): “Your neighbour Smith says my sermons are rubbish.” Farmer; “Ah, ye needn’t mind him, sir; he’s merely a mouthpiece for other folks;”

‘‘ln your sermon this morning you spoke of a baby as a new wive on the ocean of life.” “Quite so; a poetical- figure.” “Don’t you think a ‘fresh squall’ would have hit the mark better?”

“Say, .are you the boy I scat with A; letter about three, weeks ago?” Roy:, ‘‘Yes, sir.” “Well, why didn’t you bring the answer back?” Boy: “You told me to Avail for a reply, and they told me that the man Avon’t be home until next spring.”

There was once a noble old Sioux, Who eloped with the wife of a

J ioux, When the Jtonx tracked them

; down, In a far''distant town It raised a great how dioux, yioux, diouxl

“If a man had an arm long enough t,o touch the sun ami barn nis fingers,” said the professor, “lie would not feel the pain for D.C92 years.” “And for how many thousands of years could he be heard sAvearing about it, professor?” asked the anxious student in the sescond foav.

A certain lady called up her grocer by telephone the other morning, and after she had scolded the man she added; “And w-hat’s more, the next order you gel from me will be the last.” “It probably will, madam." said the. voice at the other end of the wire;; are talking to an undertaker.” '

“Noav,” said the physician to the distinguished poet who had summoned him, “you arc not in good form and I must absolutely fot bid oil brain work.” “But doctor,” protested the poet, “may I not write some verses?" The doctor laughed. “Certainly,” he said, “write all the verses you want to.”

Jtmson bought a business through an agent as a going concern in liiwtdasa condition. After six mouths he failed, but took his trouble lightly. Meeting the agent some lime later he «aid: “Do you remember selling nm a business as a going concern?” of course, I do.” replied the agent. “Weil,” said Jlinsun. “it’s gone.”

"My dear sir. 1 am much flattered by your slaying to hoar the remainder of my story when all (he other passengers ran away at the sound of the dinner-bell,” said the oceangoing pest to his sole remaining auditor. “What! Has the dinner bell gone?” replied the slightly deaf listener; and he went down below in a hurry.

Thr. two legislators were talking about schools and found they coukl not agree on certain mutters pertaining to education. The argument waned warmer and warmer. “Why. my clear fellow,” one finally exclaimed, starting 10 drive home a point. “1 ht've a school in toy mind’s eyo —** ••Vos. yes.” interrupted the otbe% •■hui. remember, dun has but one Pib” .