Silas Herrin, Hawker.

Temuka Leader, Issue 3507, 19 October 1899, Page 3

Silas Herrin, Hawker.

I " Dad," sais Tom to me one nite when w j got the imperiom pulled up behine a gos I fence, and the horses tethered in someone' 1 grass paddock, " What's the truble in th I transvale about ? " Tom's very curus sor of lad, and he's been reeding a lot bou Afriker since I promised him a gur " Well," ses I, " the boors is dutch, lik dutch jack, wot sells the everlasstini ■ toothake stuff—wun applikashun enuf fo ■ man or beest, and they belongs to Afrikei They's farmers mostly, and reads thor j bibels and cusses niggers for a living. The; I uses a lingo wat no wun can undstand, an< wat's more, no one wants to; and licked tin brittish army at Morejubillee Hill and tin Sudden. I don't no wot started the rov esactly, ony one time they got a big doii frum sum niggers, and were fair on thi bone, and one of thare big pots, Scragger or Scrugger, ses to the push—' Well, boys the cash-box is empy, and the genral ston went tik us animore, and them niggers o: Saskatchewin wat we tuk the land of in tin name of sivilizshun are scootin round lik< skeeters, so lets git next to grate britai and let them fix things.' ' Right buck, they ses, and england next em, and the j boors pnlled the leg of the govment, and ( the govment givem money and wepins anc j walopped the niggers for em, and give ole I Scrugger and the other blokes govment ; bilets, nothin to do, and plenty for doinit.', " Wisht Id git a govment billet," sais torn 1 " Wouldnt I git a gun and a byke an—' " Dry up," I sais, silensing him with a pursvvadin kick, " till i liten your want of iggnorants. Well, bynbye, Scrugger went on strike for more money and got it, and ! when he gets it he sais ' Boys, our debt is pa do, the nigs is quite ; wy should we pay takeses to the bloted furin tyrant ? lets be free and down with england and taxes and up with free bores and nigger shutin.' So soon's ho cashed his tressury bill i he gets a cauchous of his cobbers and ho [ sals' so and so, and he and old Jimbuek, I whose a ginral nuisance, or suthin, fixes up a revolt sudden-like. Course, what Inglish ; they was tnare wades in, but they wasn't i ready as ushal, and gets wopped at first, but thare vrasnl no hurrv, and jist when l.hev got fixed to knock stars and Hail Zeahiudia out on the rebellers, the Government at Home sends a telephone —"Pore people, they're fiting for libatee, aud yon crool solgiers tnustut shute animore." Our folks was mad, but anihow old Oom P;il—that?, a nickuatm of Scru^gers—was maid ooss a? thc> show, ony heel got to one the Brittish Govrnient as chief boss, lie winks one evo aud sais 'alright. We ony want 'oree reul to tend out raruu bynb\e.' Souio chap diseivered gold minds an«l lots of liritans u nd alsorts come in to work thotu. Tho Boors is to lasy to go rnting round ; they make the blocks do thai, aud saeak their wages and drink thou. .So the O.itlaudishers grafted round, and somo maid a bit and went Imm and some took up land, and then Oom Paul sais to Jimbuek : 'Why is things thus ? Is them fellers going to steal our good gold and pay nothing for breathing our free air ? Fubt thing you'll no is they'll be outvoting us, and runnin for offiis* and makin us hoe turnips and ante up for past fave.s.' Ole Jimbuek scrached his hed, dubus like. * I blieve you,' he sais. So they started in and barred the blokes as wasnt Dutch from the pole, being alions, and ses as they got to get nateralizated and get a stake in the concern, for they could run enny ticket, and maid them pay thro the noes fur dinnymite and things. The chaps was narked but didnt say nutbin, being alionsand afrade of bein confisticated. So Scrugger and they sais 'Thern sheep fleeces is mighty thick,lets enkoro.'and they enkores, but as mi old dad said, ' you may drive a hoss to the water, but you cannot maik him kick/ and some outlandishers as had to fine bail fur not payin a dutch cabbey 3 pun 10 for a 5/ ride, purtested and sais ' Reform, yere bally dutchinen,' and lots of folks saes ' reform ' an england saes ' reform," but lord liminy, what do them boor chaps cair for england or the govment wat let them off easy in eighteen eight suthin ? So they saes to a chap colled Doctor Jim, a rele bummer, if heid com and maik a rade and sho how downtrod they was, and theyd snag the minds and play old raspbury with the dutch. The dutch was up to earley, and the raders got passt out. cos the reformers turned cocktal and fell over eech uther and sot still when they shud moved like a cat in i'runt ov the fire when the cenders is f'allin round. Some on em was killed, and some on em got gailed, and things was a bit middling, but the english wouldnt fite, and Willyum, the german King, feels sorry for Oompal, and sends him a wire sooling him on and saiing Jim was a scab, ony his gramma sais * willie, bans off, or He taik you out to back off the shed and warm youre rashnals !' So willie backed is cart. Course the dutch was rorty, and crows on the gembok or hartsbeest or wat they call thare paliment, and sais like i seen in the paper ' verdomt rougenecks sais he to marchond—let em all bally well get omo sauwer krowt Watchauryn Hoch !" "Wats that dad," sais torn. "Well, I dunno esactly, i seen it in the papers —ets the trunsvaies for ' sogers, and down with em.' Marchand is an italyun bloke, wat got gailed fur sneakin close off thu King of abisynniers back fence and was sent to dreyfus oil f r life, ony he scaped and took a travelling billet in africa --but as I was sayin folks think as were fraid of em but you bet torn wen some on them chars wat <jot up dou^boy—"Dargi, dad" sais torn —"Alrite," i sais, "and Kartum and Cofl'edo-.vn gets walkia inter thare affections tbstvo won't be emift left ter stuff a german sasuage. Gimmo that whiskey bottle, mi lad, Im mighty dry."