MISCELLANEOUS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1183, 27 May 1884, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

An old Garraan merchant in the city was informed that a lady had called to see him in his absence. ' A lady !' he mused aloud ; ' a lady !' Upon an accurate description being, given, he suddenly brightened up and added, ' Oh, dot vos no lady ; dot vos my vife.' 4 Yes,' said a fashionable lady, ' I think Mary has made a very good match. I hear that her husband is ont. of the 6hrewde»t and moat unprincipled lawyers in the profession, and of course he can afford to gratify her every wish.' How to Get Sick.—Expose yourself day and night, sit too much without exercise, work too hard without rest, doctor all tho time, take all the vile nostrums advertised, and then you"will want to know How to Get Well.—Which is answered in three words —Take Hop Bitters. Read Advt. 1 No, I cannot marry you,' she said, * I hear that you gamble.' 'I acknowledge the truth of your charge,' was his manly reply,' but then I always win.' ' Oh 1 is that bo ?' she eagerly exclaimed; 'then I'll take you. Papa gambles, but lie always loses, and I was afraid that you'd limit me to two calico dresses a year, like he does ma.* Wells' 'Rough on Corns.'—Ask for Wells' Rough on Corua.' Quick relief ; complete, permanent cure. Corns, warts, ! bunions. New Zealand Drug Co., General I Aifeutsa 1

1 Have you taken any remedy V asked a physician of a sick person whom he had been called to visit. 'No,' said the patient, '1 haven't taken any remedy, but I've taken lota of doctor's stuff.' 'Those birds flying over yonder are aquatic birds, I suppose?' asked the young man in the seil-brown suit of the captain of the steamer,' No, they ain't,' was the scornful reply ; * them's ducks.' •I am much struck—that is to say, pl ease d—with the widow Black,'remarked a young curate to his bishop, ' and 1 think I'll propose marriage to her.' *So I would,' answered the elder dirine, with a merry twinkle in his eyes, 'and next Sunday I'll come down and preach for you on the widow's mite.' ' How much do you charge for the pants anyway, asked the rural customer. ' Dot makes some difference off you vants dem von Suntay or efery tay,' replied the vendor, studying his subject carefully, 'lf you vantß a sheap bair for efery tay dot bair will be two dollar, but if you vants dem bants vor Snntay, dey will pe fife tollar and a halluf. Subbosa you dakes urn vor Suntay, und ven den voa a little vorn you vears dem vor efery tay. By dot you safe two tollar on a five-tollarbair of bants !' Against which argument the countryman had nothing to offer, and the transaction was closed. A Fact Wobth Knowing. Are you suffering with Consumption, Coughs, Severe Colds settled on the Breast, Pneumonia, or any disease of the Thro it and Lungs ? If so, go to your druggist and get a bottle of Boschee't German Syrup. The people are going wild over its success and Druggists all over our country are writing to us of its wonderful cures among their customers. It has by far the largest aale of any remedy, simply because it is of so much value in *H affections of this kind. Chronic cases quickly yield to it. Druggists recommend it and physicians prescribe it. If you wish to try its superior virtue, get a Sample Bottle for 6d. Large size bottle 3s 6d. Three doses will relieve any case. Try it.