CURRENT COMMENT

Taranaki Daily News, 16 April 1932, Page 13 (Supplement)

CURRENT COMMENT

OTHER POINTS OF VIEW

(By

M.O.S.)

A police constable named Argent, of Wallingford, Berks, England, recently charged himself with having his chimney bn fire, and fined himself 2s 6d. In view of this Spartan example of stern attention to duty it is understood that to atone for their gaiety on Thursday night certain residents of Auckland intend writing to Mr. Coates regretting the occurrence and offering ten per cent, of their present income as conscience money for the Consolidated Fund.

A. Taranaki resident stated yesterday that of all the incidents connected with Auckland’s'gala night the case of the man who stole a pair of boots out of a shop window and sat down in the gutter to try them on was the most barefaced. -We beg to suggest, on the other hand, that this particular incident was the most barefooted.

Failure to rise seems to be a common complaint nowadays. First of all there is the case of the new housewife whose cakes often fail in this connection. Then there is our office boy, whose new excuse yesterday morning was that he had stopped on the way to work to collect a couple of palings in case of emergency. Thirdly there was the case, of Air. Lee, who failed to rise in Parliament when the Governor-General’s message was introduced. But the most tragic case of all was the case up at Lake Mangamahoe. For the purpose of testing w T hether the fish in the lake were 'nigger or smaller than they used to be two well known members Of the Taranaki Acclimatisation Society rerecently secured special permission and went a-fishing. Sadly one of them reported to the society that try as. they could none was caught. He considered that one or two fish should he captured for examination. Ay, there’s the rub. But how ?. For the sake of the feelings of the fishermen concerned it is suggest.ed that they throw into the lake any copy of Hansard containing a report of a Minister’s reply to any question asked him in the House, and then fish it out again. They could then honestly say that they had caught a red herring. ■*. « * • Vital Statistics. ■ If all the protests forwarded to the Government from various local bodies and organisations,.this year were added together, they would stretch three times the length of one of the Rev. Dudley’s light years and be equal in intensity to New Zealand’s present dark days. ••■ • . • Nursery Rhymes Revised. Oh come into my speed car, Said the tramwayman to me, It’s the comfiest little speed car That ever you did see. ■■.“■And if you. Want to get to town (You are the tramway owner) This speedy car is faster far Than. Campbell on Daytona. Percy has shown the only way The tramway rate to stem; ■The trams, ’tis true, must carry you, Or you must carry them. So spring aboard and take your pew Upon the tramcar seat; The handle turns, the tram track burns i— And you’re in Devon Street. There’s only one more word to say And that’s a word of warning. i Suppose when you your gate go through One cold and frosty morning Your neighbour John calls you along Into his car to cram •You look askance and say “No chance I I’d rather go by tram.” The Pukekura Park fernery has created a record in having no less than 10,000 visits paid to its underground recesses during the past year.- A rumour to the effect that.most of these were business people escaping from their creditors has not so far been denied. '*# * * Number one turbine at Arapuni has been trembling so violently since the scheme was put into operation recently that it is unable to function. It is understood that this was due to its catching sight of a copy of Mr. Downie Stewart’s last statement which some one had carelessly left on the floor of the powerhouse.' ‘ If # # * A flashing object in the heavens was reported this week as having been seen through a telescope by a Stratford observer. The first suggestion that it was a comet has now been discounted in favour of the theory that it was merely the flashing light emanating from Mr. Dau Malone’s eye in the direction of Mr. Sam. Vickers after the latter’s recelit speech on harbour board matters. A stun of £3600 has been by the Automobile Associations of New Zealand during the last six years on signposting. They have not yet, however, succeeded in erecting the signpost pointing to Prosperity. ..• • • • Wizard Smith states that he is confident that his new circular windscreen will prove a complete success. If it does not, the Enterprise will not return to the Ninety Mile beach until next summer. It is confidently anticipated that by 1952 everything will be in train for .another attempt on the record. ♦ * ’ . • * hi Bankruptcy. In the bankrupt estate of John CitiJen, notice is hereby given that a first and final dividend of Is in the £1 is now due and payable at the office of J. G. Coates, official assignee. Dated this—day of April, 1932, Parliament House, Wellington.

A large attendance of salary earners at Christchurch recently recorded its emphatic denial to any propaganda suggesting “that it was meeting the prc'sent position with a. calm resignation.” Due, no doubt, to the unfortunate fact that most of the members, far from meeting'it with a' calm resignation, were 'being met with-a calm dismissal.