CURRENT COMMENT

Taranaki Daily News, 25 July 1931, Page 13 (Supplement)

CURRENT COMMENT

OTHER POINTS OF VIEW

(By

“M.O.S.")

Without affording any explanation for his action the Australian Minister of Customs has forbidden the importation into Australia of tear gas, or any apparatus to be used with it. It is understood that the prohibition arose through a fear of competition with the Lang patent.

Someone in North Auckland, according to a telegram this week, has stolen half a ton of kauri gum. It is assumed that his intention is to stick to it.

Three giant mushrooms are reported to have been found in the lee of an old ensilage dump at Lepperton yesterday. A rumour to the effect that further investigation showed that they were merely three Lepperton pedestrians who sought shelter from the rain a fortnight ago and had had their umbrellas up ever since, has not so far been confirmed.

A Canadian motor-ehip suspected of rum-running is alleged to have discharged a noxious gas through its exhaust when chased by a United States coastguard boat, and rendered the crew of the pursuing vessel violently ill. The theory is advanced that being short of fuel the motor-ship merely proceeded to burn some of its cargo, and it was considered that the pursuers might just as well have their grog in gaseous as in liquid form.

“When the bee nursemaids have insufficient bee babies to which to feed the brood milk they carry in their heads,” said the director of bee research at Rothamsted experimental station last week, “it makes them uncomfortable.” And as for the poor beekeeper who happens to come along just at that critical time, it is assumed that he will become bee uncomfortable too, only more bo.

'A New Plymouth lady eays she had i. surprising experience at the breakwater the other day. It is understood that when she arrived at the tram terminus preparatory to going home she (actually found a tram in sight.

The' Challenge.—“ The Leader of the Opposition and ten members of his party conducted a Reform invasion of Taranaki during the week-end, and held meetings in every nook and corner of the district.”—Daily paper. The Answer (same paper, same day). —“Mr. ' C. A. ’Wilkinson, M.P. for Egmont, and Mrs. Wilkinson, spent the week-end privately at Auckland.” Aye, but what of the next week-end!

Which brings us to the great’ event of the past week—-the stirring presentation of the famous descriptive ballad, “The Trumpeters,” in two acts, by the Amalgamated Trumpeters’ Dramatic Company. The story of the ballad is a simple one—merely the old, old story ‘of peace and war, love and hate.

The scene of Act I. is Eltham. It is Tuesday morning, and the great battle that has raged during the past three days is over. Bewildered Cow Cookie; Trumpeter, ■what are you sounding now? Is it the call I’m seeking? (Aside: Curse it. I can, never understand these things. What does the, fellow mean?) Trumpeter Coates (sounding the Re/treat softly, and then fingering his trumpet lovingly): I’m ; calling them home. Come home! Cow Cockier Home where? Trumpeter Coates; To the fold of bourse. We’ll have the roll-call. Trooper Campbell ?—Here, sir. Trooper Bridger? —Here, sir. Trooper Gawith? —Here, sir. Trumpeter Coates (aside): By jove, I’ve done better than I thought I would. Trooper Wilkinson? —Long silence, followed by ribald laughter. ' Trumpeter Coates: Well, never mind. I hardly expected to find him here. As for you, Trooper Gawith, you were so successful in watching the eclipse of the mm recently that I think you must be a good omen. I believe you and I will watch another important eclipse next November. In the meantime make your alley good with the Cow Cockie family, and if they like you in November I will promote you to be a trumpeter, too. (Exit and curtain.) • • • • The scene of Act 2 is at New Plymouth. It is Thursday night. The Star Chamber has assembled, and the table is spread for the feast. There are'no trumpeters present, but a number of troopers, several of whom are anxious to be promoted to the post of trumpeter. The war is about to start again, and everybody is preparing. Trooper Moss: Things are bad, boys. There is no doubt about it, we will have to pull up our socks. Chorus of voices: Too true! Trooper Moss (gloomily): They say in times like this the third year is the worst, and after that they are all U 3 bad as one another. There is no doubt about it, New Zealand has been a naughty boy, and has been spending far too much money. In consequence his mother found it necessary to give him five million strokes last month, and we are in the soup. Voices: Hear, hear! The wages of the troops will have to be reduced. Trooper Stainton (brightly): Good old doctor. You know what’s wrong with the 1 boy, don’t you? In 1935 we. will look back on 1931 and call it a boom year. Cow Cockie: Trooper Moss—Moss Trooper —The name sounds good. No hurdle ought to be too big for him to get over. (Laughs facetiously at his own joke, but no one else does. They are not in sporting mood). Trooper McLeod: Only two more years downhill boys. Excelsior! Cow Cockie (now thoroughly sobered); But Trumpeter Coatee, when he came round with routine orders to us st Eltham pill-box, Stratford salient and Inglewood outpost, said:’ “Courage, brother” Have faith and keep your pecker up. All’s well if you keep close to me.” (Aside: I can’t understand these people. What are they sounding now? Is this the call I’m seeking?) Trooper Fraser: I haven’t the presidential privilege of waving the telescope at the horizon. If I had, I should put it to my blind eye I think, to save myself from having nightmares. (At this st ge Cow Cockie collapses and is carried out in a fainting condition). <1 Curtain.