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Taranaki Daily News, 21 February 1931, Page 21 (Supplement)

Peter was loungipg at home, with Polly on thd table beside him and Waiiaby hanging over the back of his chair. Suddenly the door butst open, and the most deplorably wet and muddy-looking dog in the world walked in. At first no one recognised the usually spruce and cock-sure Richard, but at last Peter exclaimed. “Hullo, here’s Richard!” ' t “What a pickle!” sang Polly. “Oh my! What a nasty mess! “Be quiet!” growled Richard. “Can’t you see I’ve had a fight? “What I can see, my lad,” said Peter, “is that you’re for a tub—quickly, too!”

' ... “Wow-wow-wow!” Richard the lion-heart was acUal X. h 7/‘? g '. ®" C A a sight he was, and so-sorry for himself that he quite forgot his little airs and g ”-Well, where have yen been?” asked Peter. “And what have you been fighting to get into such a shocking state?” “Oh mv» What a dirty dog!” Polly kept up her chant. . • w °“Come on, Richard,” invited Peter. “A bath will soon put you right, old A/ x’: '"J* _ . • , . ..

So Peter fetched a bath-tub, and Wallaby fetched a kettle of nice hot water, and Polly inarched along singing cheerily: “He’s got to be washed. Oh my. He ’ S Stm “wowi Richard crept after them. “No soap, Peter,” he begged. “ R lad, and pelnty of it,” announced Peter fitmly. “Come on, it’ll soon be over.’ ? . _

Tip that lot of water into the bath, Wallaby,” ordered Peter. “Then fill the kettle again and put it on the stove. We’ll need lots of hot water to get the mud off this fellow.” . ■ Polly was charmed! '‘Put him in the bath,” she kept chuckling. “Put him in the bath, the dirty dog!” . “Watch the kettle, Wallaby,” said Peter. “Don’t let it boil over.” And, grasping Richard tightly, he plunged him into the tub.

..Now Wallaby is. not particularly “brainy,” so when the steam came sis-sis-aissing out of the spout, he thought the kettle -was singing to him. “Coo-ee” he called back. / . - - .'“Tell me when it boils; Wallaby,” said Peter. ,<, > ./‘Yes,” chimed in Polly. “Keep the pot a’boiling!”

Wallaby continued to “coo-ee” to the kettle,.until—sizz-sizz-SIZZ—the steam came in a great burning cloud into his face! Poor Wallaby! He was sb astonished that he jumped back on to Petpr, peter fell head-first into the tub, Polly lost her balance and fell in too, and Wallaby sat down in surprise in the midst of them. So everyone had a bath that day.

HUSHED UP. Mr. Q: “Why do you call your baby 'Scandal’?” Mr.' P: “Because try as we will we can’t hush her up.” ♦ * • * PUTTING HIS HAND IN IT. “Plbase excuse my glove,” said the punctiliously polite man as he shook haridfi. \ ; “Certainly,” said his friend, “mine are pearly as bad.” « * * TAKE WITH A PINCH. Vicar: “Now, who can tell me why Lot’s wife" was turned into a pillar of •alt?’’ » Bright Scholar: “Please, sir, she was not satisfied with her lot.” '?' # ’ , * * * CONFUSING. The car sped along through the rather monotonous country. Suddenly the landscape began to brighten up. “Oh, the lovely creek!” cried the girl in the back seat. ’ “Hush,‘my dear,” said her mother, I know it’does creak a bit, but you must remember it is very good of your,host to take us. out for,a drive at all.”

EASY THING. She: “It must be very hard to lose monev at the races.” He: “Not a bit. It's the easiest thing in the world.” # ♦ # * PUZZLING, Magistrate: “The Signs all said, ‘Slow Dowp.’ ” Motorist: “But how could I read them at the speed I was going?” # # * * HITTING BACK. Golfer (to Irish caddie): “Don't you think I’ve improved a . .good deal since I began?” Caddie (anxious to pay a compliment): “You have, sorr. But sure it was aisy for you to improve, sorr.’’ # # # * HE’D GOT TO. New Resident (to butcher’s boy): “Could you tell me, is there a sweep in the village?” Butcher’s Boy: “Ycs’m. First and second division clubs only. Tickets, sixpence each.”