COMEDY OF ERRORS

Taranaki Daily News, 6 December 1930, Page 1 (Supplement)

COMEDY OF ERRORS

AND A HAPPY ENDING

(By

“Sophisticus.")

Being the strange but true experience of a Taranaki motorist who mot Comedy in the backblocks and saw Tragedy stalk ominously near. Rounding a hairpin bend on a long down grade with an idling engine I suddenly noticed a blurred object partially hidden by the undergrowth fringing the road. A<j the car rolled on, I speculated upon the identity of that patch of whiteness, but when I was only a few yards away, the mass became animated. Down went my brake foot and 1 reached for the hand lever with visions of reckless driving, manslaughter or other charges, 'then . 1 found myself stationary, gazing over the .bonnet at a large mottle coloured goat, straining with great zeal at a tethering rope which seemed to be entangled in the bushes. Dusk was gathering. The route had lain along a narrow track leading over a hump-backed range of broken forest land. At the place where I had jerked the car to a stand-still ■ a precipitous drop yawned on one side, diminutive ■pines and tawas crowding to the bottom of a gorge indicating its great and gloomy depths. On the other hand, a sheer wall of papa reared - up to blot put what was left of the fading daylight. If> was no place for accidents or careless driving. I wished to hurry through the tortuous hills and moreover was very hungry and tired. Consequently I was in no" mood to argue with a mere goat. Leaping from the car, I seized the rope, and dragged the Angora out of the way. I was just moving forward when, with a startled bleat, Billy bolted. Motor cars with their strange noises were evidently foreign to his understanding so I speeded him on his way with a loud blast of the horn. While it lasted, it was a spirited' gallop. For twenty yards he rivalled Phar Lap. Then the. trailing rope caught and Billy was jerked towards the edge of the cliff. He tried to stop, but his .velocity carried him on and the next bound took’hiin into space travelling along the arc of a circle of which the anchored tether was the radius. A sickening thud followed. I hauled the caycase back to the road and deposited it beneath an overhanging bush before pushing on through the deepening shades of evening. A worn pin delayed progress the following day, and while d man with a foro’e fashioned a new' one I amused myself exploring the neighbourhood with my Kodak. I wandered along a grass grown bridle track pausing at intervals to snap glorious views of the wonderful bush which New Zealanders, through familiarity, are apt to take for granted. Suddenly to my astonishment sounds of an angry, altercation and the thud of fist on flesh began to violate the serenity of that sunlit forest. I stole closer until I looked across a natural clearing to where,a grim /battle was being staged. The principals were of even size and weight, though, to qiy mind, a shade too old for such activity. “I’ll learn yer y’ murderin’ hog,”< bellowed' one as he landed a. telling body blow. “Would ye then come sneakin’ round killing off me pets. Blast yer, take that and that.” Furiously, he lunged forward swinging great fists, but in the excitement of the moment he was taken completely off his guard. A vicious upper cut knocked him [back and the other, fighting silently, followed up the advantage, with a fierce tjwing that connected just behind the ear. The fight was over. -

For a while the victor stared down at his enemy, prodding him gently with his toe, but the prostrate one remained prostrate, and presently his opponent ■swung on his heel and departed. Spellbound with the suddenness of it all I remained in hiding till the thrashing of .the branches, faded in the distance. Then, somewhat furtively, I ran forward. Reacting to such simple expedients as I was able to administer, the second best man sufficiently recovered to be able to answer my excited questions, and with my own recent experience in mind I was able to piece together the following plot that went amiss. His name was; (Bill Humphrey. The day before he had walked to the settlement for a supply of provisions and also to the hotel for a quantity of liquor. On his return to his shack, lie had been accosted by his neighbour, one Claud Thomas, who, it seemed, had a penchant for practical joking. . Claud was quite annoyed when Bill arrived. He admitted having tied a rogue billy goat in the narrowest part of the road, the idea being that the animal would attack with a certain element of sur- , prise and (Bill, ladeu with bundles and beer, was to provide a funny spectacle. Claud intended to be in hiding nearby, but no sooner had the goat been securely fastened than it butted his horse •which bolted, and Claud set .off in hot pursuit. • Blissfully ignorant of any designs upon his property or his person, and knowing nothing of my encounter or of the death of the goat, 'Bill arrived •safely home rihere, to liis amazement, Claud had come storming in the door to accuse him of slaying the father of his herd. , , . In the .telling of his .version of the tale Bill 'had quite recovered, so, in a circumspect and diplomatic, majiner, I explained how the misunderstanding had arisen and offered accompany ■him to Claud errand peace and goodwill; ■■/. ■ Up bright and early, I fitted the new pin, then tramped off to keep my appointment with Bill, but it was nearly noon when we, reached the Thomas’ homestead. The steady song of a sweetly running saw and intermittent bouts of chopping disclosed Claud’s whereabouts, so we veered off in that direction. We approached over a slight rise and gazed down at a - huge kahikatea ■tottering under the final blows of lustily driven wedges. The scene was new to me, and my whole attention was rivettgd upon the man below, but (Bill had seen something else.

“Hey!” he shouted, and the next moment was sprinting, as I thought straight to destruction. I yelled to him and then I also saw. Aly 'heart stood still, for directly in the path of the bending giant a small boy was grubbing away at something in the earth, his stooping form being completely hidden from Claud. There was a sharp crack, a succession of pistol shots as stout fibres parted, a swishing of rushing wind in dense foliage, and the great tree plunged to the ground in one deafening report, as though in the vengeance to blot out the lives of two helpless beings. I shut my eyes. Claud and I reached the scene together. Afadly we tore at the branches and separated the foliage. At last we found them, the-great body of Bill outstretched over the unharmed child. He was Claud’s son, and the rough pioneer with his heart of gold gathered the small form into his arms~with incoherent words of joy and thanksgiving.