CURRENT COMMENT

Taranaki Daily News, 22 November 1930, Page 1 (Supplement)

CURRENT COMMENT

OTHER POINTS OF VIEW

(By

M.O.5.)

Professor Kovarik, of Yale University, announced- that ■ a study of the rate of disintegration of radio active elements has disclosed that the age of the earth la 1,850,000,000 years. Many happy returns of the day!

Plans -for a birthday party, however, have not yet been definitely settled. Hundreds and thousands for the bread and butter are available, but it is doubted .whether there are sufficient candles. When asleep the other -evening and pondering over this 1 ripe age of the earth, the "writer 'yas privileged to hear a conversation between the Earth and Cosmos, the Ruler of the Universe. This is really an allegory, which is a literary term for a downright lie.

The Earth, groaning heavily, said to Cosmos: “How much longer, O Cosmos, must I endure the sorrow’s of this life. For 1,852,000,000 years I have been solitary among the heavenly bodies for my .-sins and. banished to this outer fringe of the Universe. Strange infinitesimal animals have crawled air over my face, burrowed holes and built what they call (laugh not, O Cosmos!j .sky-scrapers upon it. They have hospitals to save livens and wars to cause deaths. Sometimes I have passed through the tails of comets and prayed that I might strike another body and find a blessed oblivion, but each time I came through unscathed. They are restless animals and I am weary of the tap of their hammers and the sound of their voices?” And. Cosmos replied: ‘You may have noticed from the Rev. B. Dudley’s articles,.O Earth, .that you are:at present Sheading straight for a collision with another heavenly body. The Earth smiled . radiantly: “And when will that be, 0 Cosmos ?”' Gosjnps replied i Earth, I cannot remembeif the exact date,, but it was only a. few million years’ time.” ' J 1 The poor Earth went sickly pale and shudders ran through iU body with the disappointment of it all. . < , ' «. - # : • ? And, believe me or believe me not, those | were, the earth tremors you felt this week, ' • Miniature golf courses, according, to a Sydney message, are becoming known as the minnies. In itself there is nothing .remarkable about that. It is interesting, however, as an illustration of the . trend of the times. We already have the movies and the talkies, and now we are-to have the minnies. Very shortly, ho doubt, what with all these Imperial. Indian- and Disarmament conferences, we shall soon be having the- Connies. ; The vivid description of the opening of the next Indian Conference in London, for instance, will probably read somewhat like the last one with vital modern amendments to the nouns. Not even when Warren Hastings was tried in Westminnie Hallie, did India so fill the i atagie at the Empire’s capital as to-day, ■when the King Emperor opened the roundtable connie in the' Royal Gallery of the House of Lof dies. ‘ The turban head-dresses, of the Indian delegates, white, grey, blue, black, crimson, scarlet and yellow, contrasting with the dark clothes almost universally worn even by the Indiannies, stood out as bold splashes of colour against the bareheaded Britties. . While, to distinguish themselves from the superior grown-uppies', babies in the future.will probably put the correct end- - ings to their wordies. ; • * * -’ “Stick to the show” -was the 1 advice f given tp non-cornmissioned officers by ; Major-General R. Young; G.O.C. New Zealand Forces, at 1 the opening of the 1 N.C.O. Qlub at Wellington on Wednes- j day evening. In appealing to members . to carry on the traditions, General Young ; said: “If there was trouble to-morrow, ■ who would they come to? You and me.” He added, with a Smile:/“If I could not produce an army I suppose they would- j hang me on the sour apple tree.” And 1 •apropos'of nothing, one recalls tlie fam- 1 ous lines of Lewis Carroll on the croco- . dile in Alice in r •..> K . . . <

How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly spreads his claws ’And welcomes little fishes in With gently smiling jaws.. In the course of a Cambridge Union debate on “Is the British Empire moribund?” Mr. L. C. Webb, formerly of New Zealand, said spiritual unity within the Empire was mythical. An Englishman might be respectfully treated in Berlin, but it would be wiser not to disclose his .identity in the Irish Free State, and he would probably be sandbagged before, nightfall in Sydney. Mr. Webb expects too much from the ties of Empire. One might imagine the following scene:— .■• , ' ,J. . • : Playlet.’ Bonds of Empire. j (Enter Englishman in Sydney street, 1 unlighted. It is dusk. Sounds of scuffle ] M he is seized by two ruffians.), J Englishman: Hold, hold! good friends, j Put up your weapons. I am an English- . man. s Ist Ruffian (sarcastic): Pardon!’ I c thought you wos a common Orstralian. ] Englishman: Before you rob me, re- 8 member the ties that , bind us together, s We are of common stock, the same blood runs ,in our veins, the same bonds of r Empire bind us. c Ist Ruffian: Stow it! r Englishman: Who knows what far-off -I (ink may bind us together, some pioneer- t tag link? ' a 2nd Ruffian.: Oo knows? My great- c panfarver, ’e was a pioneer. Englishman: There, now. How inter- c ] ►stingf li 2nd Ruffian: Yus. Transported. f a (And, with the curtain, the sandbag s (alls.) c