CURRENT COMMENT.

Taranaki Daily News, 26 April 1930, Page 17 (Supplement)

CURRENT COMMENT.

OTHER POINTS OF VIEW,

(By

“M.O.S.

Sunshine, rain, heat, cold; fend in the ifibervals between changing their clothes fq suit, Taranaki people spent a short but pleasant Easter. #.# « * A chequered Easter pales, however, before a notable event which took place in. South Taranaki recently. The presentation of the colours was made to the Auroa Pipe Band. For days men went about with strained, anxious faces / and little children woke in the night crying bitterly. Put to the torture with haggis! « «. • ' • During the presentation speakers con-' gratulated the band on having obtained uniforms. Mr. Simpson expressed his pleasure at seeing the band “fitted out in the garb of Old Gaul. He would like ’.to remind bandsmen that 4hey were ■wearing the national dress of an ancient and honourable country . . . A better word would have been frock. -'« « * * In the Old Country a Scot noted for his lively wit, Lord Dewar, died just lately. He cultivated the figure, of speech known as the epigram, which is a means for compressing a great deal of rich material in a very small space. In some quarters it is held that, his best efforts were bottled. #o. « # As a form of wit the epigram, of course, lias been’greatly over-rated in this country. Really it is a very simple thincr which anyone can do. All that is needed is to twist a few words into a mental knot rather hard to undo. Just \ to prove it I believe I couldy-yes I shall —manufacture oiie myself. •;> o o In the meantime, at the Scottish settlement of Dunedin, there is reported a distinct trace of soreness. The question on many lips, said a Press message, ’ is: “What was the Town Hall built for?” At first glance it seemed that, being Dunedin, there could be only one answer, but funnily enough that answer was wrong. For the real trouble was that the reception of Lord and Lady Bledisloe was held in the small concert hall instead of the far larger hall, so that many were turned away. But really, since the question was on the lips of Dunedin, one might be pardoned for thinking that the answer should have been something like “Every bit of £29,999 19s Hid." • « " Epigrams, as said before* are really .riot, so hard to make, though sometimes they take time to occur'to' one. At any rate a very good one was made about the Stuart king, the. late (very late) James I. He is known as the King who “never said a foolish thing and never did a wise one.” The idea is to juggle with the words until they fall into the right, places. Note: Very similar to crossword puzzles. '#o w * The mention of money, however, calls to mind the fact that the sum of £5OO a year is to-- fco spent on educating children in the schools how to avoid motor-cars. At first sight this may seem all very nice and laudable until we remember that the school child of to-day is the pedestrian qf to-morrow. It simply means this-Lthat in future motor-. iflU will have to undergo a strict course of training. In the paper we shall see paragraphs beginning: The following'motorists will be required for practice at- the Coronation Hall to-morrow night. . . . And there, behind barred doors, experts will coach the driver as he speeds, from■ one end to the other trying to wing in his flight a cunning little pedestrian scuttling across the width of the room. # o « o In the practices, of course, real, live pedestrians will not be used. The practice will resemble a clay bird shoot in this way, that the pedestrian for practice will be a. clockwork robot. For people are beginning to realise that the robot has a wonderful future,. Myself, I shall look forward keenly to the day when the robot will referee football matches; to the day when he has warned a big forward (fighting weight 1961b.,cheet 43in. deflated) who says: “If‘you say another word I shall knock your blanky head off.” And. my little robot (sft. 2in. in his socks) will laugh a hoarse, mechanical laugh and just poke out his little tin tongue. « «■ * # There was no doubt that the epigram would occur sooner or later. After all, as stated above, it is only a matter, as everybody knows, of concentrating on a few selected words and twisting them round bo that they are hard to underetand. The one that' has occurred is not a particularly fine specimen. There have been better and it is just possible that there have been worse. At the same time it shows what can be done. And, in addition, it has the advantage of being an epitaph as well as an epigram. Epitaph and Epigram on M-. 0.5.: — # * * * He thought a lot more than he know he did and he knew a lot less than he thought he did. . # s - * • # And, incidentally, the next day. somebody will probably write the following words: “The remains of the late M.O.S. -were interred in the Te Henui cemetery yesterday.” A hideous phrase which sound s.> dreadfully like a dog jurying a bone.