HENPECKS’ REVENGE

Taranaki Daily News, 18 January 1930, Page 1 (Supplement)

HENPECKS’ REVENGE

RAID AND RETRIBUTION.

(By

“Plato.”)

“Good Heavens!” was the exclamation of a Liverpool magistrate when in a case before him „ the existence of a “Henpecked Husbands’ Protection Society,” with a membership of 400, was disclosed. The cable did not explain whether the exclamation was one of pure astonishment or whether it was prompted by a sudden vision of hope. . In any case the secret is out—the men of Liverpool have taken the bull by the horns and, with the militant spirit that characterised the suffragettes, have banded together in their determination to stamp out the evil of domination by mere women; have, in fact, struck a bold blow for their emancipation. The fact that even 400 people in a small place like Liverpool are in need of protection shows that the position is serious. On that average the • number of henpecked men in the whole world must be many millions. Who knows but that those venturesome men of Liverpool will one day be looked upon with awe .and admiration. But the disclosure of the plot in the public police court threw the Henpecked Husbands’ Society into a fine panic. Four hundred Liverpool husbands slunk •homewards that night with assumed innocence on their faces but guilt in their hearts. And they heeded all their armour, for every husband in Liverpool was a suspect that night. Meanwhile the news had been flashed round the world and the germ of rebellion had crept secretly into the minds of many men. An extraordinary general meeting of the Henpecked Husbands’ Society was called by the Liverpool head centre, and more men were detained late at their offices that night than ever At the obscure, dimly lighted rendezvous strong men arrived muffled to the eyes, furtively glanced to the right and. left, and crept into the hall. . In the lobbies they shed their. disguises, straightened-their backs and strutted to their seats like real men.

It was the largest, most representative and most unanimous meeting ever held in Liverpool. ■ The chairman spoke like a man possessed, and the- applause was deafening. He painted a glowing picture of England’s homes no longer dominated by the wrong sex, of weak men made strong, and of the early lifting of the yoke from, the neck of the nation’s manhood. Would the descendants of men like Cromwell, William the Conqueror and Raleigh—no, not Raleigh —longer submit to a tyranny- that was becoming unbearable? Would they linger hew the wood and draw the water while—but the rest of his eloquence was drowned by the thunderous and unanimous “No, nevers!” According to the rules of the Henpecked Husbands’ Society a perky Kttle man in a back seat militantly suggested that members of the society give concrete examples of persecution, so that the society might exercise its powers, visit the home of the tyrant and her victim, demand an explanation and administer such punishment as a majority of the society might nominate. . The chairman called for complaints. Every man in the hall stood up immediately, and all spoke at once. Harrowing tales were told of almost unbelievable cruelty and oppression. >-■ Some had had to mind the children while their wives attended meetings of the mothers’ union—and that on an initiation night at the Freemasons’ Lodge —some had been compelled like.camels to carry parcels and wait outside shops for half a day; some had received orders to give up smoking in bed; and a great many had been bullied into taking their wives to conversaziones, cabarets and dances while there was boxing at the stadium. But the most revolting case of cruelty was cited by the little man who had first spoken ’with such obvious feeling. His wife had actually denied him the rigfit to motor back to the office late at night with his confidential typistc to overtake arrears of work. The little man’s dramatic recital of such heinous oppression and interference with the liberty of the subject caused a hush of horror to descend upon the gathering. “Then,” said the little man with the long-absent light of battle in his eye, “I move that the punitive powers of this society be put into operation.” The motion was carried before he had finished, and his case was selected as the' most suitable of all those cited for a punitive raid by the society’s members. Hastily the disguises were donned and the members trooped out of the hall, broke into small groups to avoid suspicion, and marched across the city towards the little man’s home. Arrived at the gate they spread along the darkness of the fence and engaged in whispering consultation. Obviously a hitch had occurred and the little man was at the far end of the line.. The house. was in darkness and therefore easier to face.

The whispering council continued at length until someone mentioned the words “not game.” Then the little man’s chest expanded and it was a.greed that they should march to the door ia single file, the little man leading. Up the garden path they tiptoed in silence that could be felt, and scarcely breathing through fear. Silently the little man turned the key and gently opened the door. Cautiously his head was inserted, and immediately the blow descended. The heavy rolling-pin crashed on to his pate with a sound like that of an egg falling to/ the floor from a great height. Down went the little man like a log. The hall was flooded with light, and as the raiders broke and fled they caught a glimpse of the matron, one foot on the bottom stair, the rolling-pin still raised menacingly aloft and the light of triumph in her eye.’ When the helter-skelter of footbeats had died in the midnight street this awe-inspiring tableau of Britannia stirred, crossed the hall to the prostrate form and contemptuously turned it over with her foot. The pallid face upturned to the light' was that of the magistrate