SMILE AWHILE.

Taranaki Daily News, 23 November 1929, Page 24 (Supplement)

SMILE AWHILE.

They were looking down from a narrow Alpine ledge to the valley 2000 feet below. “Do people often fall over here ?” the guide was asked. “As a rule, sir, once is enough,” was the reply. aaa - a It was a very hot day and the young man was apparently thirsty, for he was quickly drinking his third glass of milk. “You must be extraor-diuarly fond of milk,” observed the milkman. “Rather,” wae the reply. “Or I should not be drinking so much water to get a little.” a o o . a Jerry had ha<T his first term at boarding school, and while he was on holiday his uncle visited the family. "Hallo, Jerry!” eaid Uncle. “How do you like your form master?” “He’s not too bad, uncle,” replied Jerry. “Rather bigoted though.” “How so?” “He will insist that words can only be spelled his way.” a*« a * The scene was a small restaurant, and a customer was heard criticising the pastry. , “Why, young man,” said the proprietor, “I was making pastry before you were born.” “Granted,” was the reply. “But why sell it now?” fl ft ft fl The scene is a seaside boarding-house once more. “How did you find your chop, ‘Mr. Brown?” asked the landlady. Mr. Brown walked toward the door. “Oh,” he said, “I just moved one of the potatoes, and there it was!” A a a Teacher: My little man, you must not say, “I ain’t going,” you must say “I am not going.” He is nob going. We are not going. They are not going. > Student: Ain’t nobody going? # o « a Pat, while on a visit to America, became deeply interested in watching a gardener. After a while the following dialogue took place;— Gardener; “Some fine vegetables here, Pat?” re .Pat: “Yes.”' Gardener: “I once grew a cabbage which, when cut in two and the heart removed, made a grand cradle for kiddies.” > Pat: “Begorra! But it must have been a mighty fine one. We have some fine vegetables in old Ireland, too. I once remember seeing three men sleeping on one beet (beat).” Gardener :. “Three men ?” Pat: “Sure —policemen.” A o u “Johnny, if there were ten sheep in a pasture and five jumped over the fence, how many would be left?” “None.” “Now, Johnny, can’t' you count better than that?” “Well, teacher, you might know arithmetic, but you don’t know sheep.” fl o fl <> Elsie: “Mamma, I don’t feel very .well.” Mother: “That’s too bad, dear. Wheie do you feel worst?” ; re , ' Elsie: “In school, mamma/’ fl •. fl ■ O'. » Little Betty, watching the. farm hands spreading out a stack of hay to . dry, could contain her curiosity no longer, so she politely asked: : “Is it a needle you're looking for? . < a'. . d « ft . Two children were playing together. Jane got angry and- pouted., Alfed, looking at, her, said, as a quiet smilo stole over his face: “Look out, Jane, or I’ll take a seat- up there; on your lips.” , . _ “Then,’! replied Jane, quite cured, of her pout, “I’ll laugh, and you’ll fall off.” a a fl * Sergeant: Halt! You can’t go in ' there. Private: Why not, sergeant? Sergeant: Because it's the colonel s tent. . ' Private: Then why have,;, ethey (l got.;. “Private” over the door: for?-; v . 1 ;