EGG PHILOSOPHY

Taranaki Daily News, 12 October 1929, Page 17 (Supplement)

EGG PHILOSOPHY

PERSONALITY OF ITS OWN

(By

M.A.)

It is remarkable how captivating is tire personality, how deep the philosophy, and how baffling the mystery contained in an egg.

For instance, why do the eggs of birds have so many different colours? The infallible’ encyclopedias tell us that the colour depends on the chemistry of the body of the bird; that the colour, too, is generally influenced by the bird’s surroundings. For Nature wisely provides that the egg should not easily be seen. Indeed, regarded from the scientific aimle, an egg offers endless food for academic discussion. M e learn with surprise that the yolks of birds’ eggs contain more lime than any other food, and that eggs hold within them a considerable quantity of hydrogen and sulphur, which blacken spoons. Thus the scientist. For my own part, my' earliest recollection of an egg was on a certain morning during breakfast, when its immaculate and rotund form presented itself to me as I took my seat at the table. On that occasion—l was very immature—l smote the egg heartily' with my spoon. There was a sharp pop and, from the exploded -shell, there spouted a yellow, coagulated substance over both the table and the people round it.' I was, of course, sharply reprimanded for my carelessness, but far from breeding repulsion in me towards eggs, the incident merely endeared them to me more than ever.

After all, an egg is the most independent of foods. It has both pride and spirit. Meat and butter, for instance, decompose slowly' enough for the. process to lie noted and warded against; but eggs, if annoyed by maltreatment, will decay inscrutably, and. reveal their rottenness only the moment before they are to be used. Ami one cannot be more perfectly defeated than by a bad egg. Nothing -the day may- bring can quite atone for the memory of a cold and disappointed breakfast. Yet, really, the egg is quite good natured. It allows itself to figure in countless stories of pride and its fall. It will cheerfully break in order to point a moral or adorn a tale, and if. an exasperated audience require it, it will hurtle through the air very pleasantly to chastise an imperfect actor. It is the eternal standby of the housewife, and forms the nucleus of countless dainties. Even though, like the fabulous rook’s egg, it may disclose a nascent chicken within' its shell, it is very welcome at-evel'y ' table 2 —the perfect knight, the irreproachable Bayard of life. But on the other hand, I know of no-, thing sb detestable as an egg flip, the very sight of which, standing on a table by the bed of an invalid, is enough to ensure perpetual good health, lest one be obliged to partake of it. Not so. the egg nogg. Though it be similar in many respects, its principal extra ingredient gives it a spirit of its own, the attractiveness of which has already been testified to in a well-known modern book on war-time flying. I would rather be stranded on a desert island with a good laying hen than with any other bird. The eggs would supply.me with, food for both body and thought. Chesterton has wondered whether the egg or the hen was first made. Personally, I incline towards supporting the hen. God, while he was making a full grown man, would naturally make a full grown hen. Then, one may suppose, growing weary of its sameness, He decided to have more than one of itu kind, and hit upon the splendid idea of an egg. The chickens might be changed as they grew up, until their form and colour satisfied their Creator, but a grown hen might resent such alterations in herself.. To whichever theory one inclines, however, an egg can always awaken deep > thoughts. Like Dela Mare’s woods and trees and briars, it can “sing such a history of come and gone.” It is remarkable, though by no means astonishing, what a number of jokes are made about eggs. One has only to mention the word to command attention, and even to precipitate a deluge of that ingenuous species of merriment which is born of anticipation. One’s reputation as a humorist is established at once. T?ll any improbable story about an • egg, and those who scoffed at your latest fishing success are dumb and credulous. It is a magic talisman. Even so, there could be no more splendid one. There is a solid beauty in its perfect symmetry, and a uniformity in its colour, that is difficult for any painter to emulate.. The blankness of its inscrutable shell casts a spell of mystery over it, and one can imagine it smilincr at the world in scorn an it treasures 0 up its unfathomable secrets and chuckles over them within its smooth, small world. Although it may kindle laughter, it in above contempt. It is the epitome of life’s beginnings, for in the form of an egg are born live things, from young helpless birds to uglv reptiles. Horace, in his epistles, has said: “The vulgar boil, the learned roast, an egg,” and° the sentiment he expresses is more or less true. There is something rather crude and low and naked in a boiled etro- and even though it may be the most satisfying of foods, one does not admit to eating it, except at a picnic, without a twinge of guilty shame. To have a fried or a scrambled egg is truly British, but once mention a boiled* egg and illusion flee.s. In good society one should never stress the “boiled,” although there is a certain rough finality about the sound of it that is wholly delightful. Granted there is nothing to compare with a boiled egg for pure manly strength. Porridge is good but its tone is less convincing, and smacks of the Scotsman. Bacon and eggs is British, but a boiled egg is universal. Its influence clinches every argument. One feels that the ancients in making an eacr the foundation of their feasts were perfectly right. To have begun with an egg,‘unless it was a nightingale’s or a lark’s, and to have eaten valiantly through all the other courses up - to the apple, must have- been a feat quite worthy of mention.