STORY OF JOSEPHINE JOLLY

Taranaki Daily News, 31 December 1926, Page 21

STORY OF JOSEPHINE JOLLY

AND BELINDO LEAN

Once there was a little girl. She was a plump little girl and a tall little girl, and she grew at such a rate that her Mummy had always to make her frocks for the summer after next because she caught them up so quickly! And her Nannie had to go on letting down and letting down, so that she used to put up her hands and say “That child!” and then look unutterable things, which meant she believed that child was a witch. (Her Mummy did, too, but it is not part of the story). The secret of it was that she always ate up everything—even spinach, even junket, even —you know all those things! The little girl’s name was Josephine,—Josephine Jolly. Now there was another little girl, and her name was Belinda Lean. She would cat hardly anything! She didn’t like carrots because they were yellow; she didn’t like beet-root because it was red; she didn’t like cabbage because it was green; she didn’t like turnips because they were white; she didn’t like (You may take breath here). She mushrooms because they were black, didn’t like bread because it was soft; she didn’t like biscuits because they were hard; she didn’t like jam because it was sweet; she didn’t like cheese because it was sour; she didn’t like custard because it ran; she didn’t

like jelly because it set; she didn’t like meat because it was cooked; she didn’t like fruit because it was raw. Oh-o, there was no end to the tilings Belinda Lean did not like!

The consequence was that she became so thin that she could not fill out her party sash. Her frocks overlapped to such an extent that they buttoned round to the front again. When she went out walking, sho walked out of her shoes; and, when the wind blew, her hat span gently round and round her little, thin head.

One day Josephine Jolly and Belinda Lean met at a party. After tea Belinda had a narrow escape from the conjurer He asked for a wand, and someone passed her up to him by mistake! (I am afraid you will not believe this story, but I assure you it is all very serious). Josephine Jolly explained to the conjurer, and he very politely returned Belinda, and took a walking-stick- instead !

At last Belinda’s friends began to think it was time she was cured of her folly, so they decided to consult the Great High Head Cook. This was the same Great High Head Cook who invented the first Great Plum Pudding that wan made. He now lives In retirement on an island where everything grows cooked! Well, Belinda’s grownup relations went to see him one fine day—they knew that when it rained the Great High Cook had to stand on his head because he had no umbrella, and it is difficut to converse with people who are standing on their heads because, of course, you have to say everything upside-down!—so they chose a fine day, and they took with them Josephine Jolly and a number -of other boys and girls to explain matters. It had been their experience that little boys and girls were the best people to gt round cooks! They led Belinda by a thread of cotton in case she should blow away.

As it is necessary to approach a Great High Head Coek with a great deal of ceremony, they arranged everything very nicely, and even had rehearsals beforehand. Josephine Jolly led the party of boys and girls, and they ranged themselves up on either side of the Great Head Cook and sang:

Belinda. ’Linda la, la, lady Is fading away, the foolish maidy, She’ll eat no breakfast tea or dinner, She’s getting thinner and thinner and thinner, Siie'll eat no breakfast, dinner or tea, She’ll soon disappear altogether you’ll see. Can you guess what she's eat? For she’ll never grow fat On the menu of a gnat. What a silly malady What shall we do for Belinda Lean? She can hardly last another day, She’s fading fast, fading away. Belinda, Tinda, la, la, lady. “You are very rude to make personal remarks!” Belinda interrupted tho girls and boys in their singing, snapped the cotton, and walked dangerously out into the air. They had to let her go because they were afraid they could not catch her again without breaking her. Then the Great High Cook rose from his seat on an upturned preserving-pan (he said he preferred it upside-down because then he was sure there was nothing in it); and he chanted in his cold, raw voice: Monstrous little mortal Must have a meal, That’s how you feel? Can she be saved by my dexterous hand? LTnhappy child, I understand She’s as thin as ice, Or a neat cut slice Of breakfast bacon, Or I’m mistaken She’s a paper, a wafer? Nothing could be unsafer.

The little boys and girls were much encouraged by the understanding of the Great Head Cook, and they joined hands and walked round him to assure him further:

The girl has wasted now so slim She’s like a reed at the river’s rim, She’s like a weeping willow wand. And it worries her parents wise and fond. ’Tis such a silly malady, Belinda ’linda lalady. “A good, square meal”— Yes, that’s what we feel.

“Let us sum her up,” said the Great Head Cook, “and I will provide a dish of such ingenious flavour that even Belinda Lean will not be able to refuse it.” The Great Head Cook started to chant,

One is a child who starved, Two is a cook who carved, Three is tho dish he will bring, Four is a toothsome thing, Five is a smell that will rise, Six is a child grown wise, Seven—

He got no further, for just at that moment Belinda’s distracted Nannie rushed in and told them that Belinda had been caught by the wind, which mistook her, with her flying hair, for the seed of a silver tree; probably by now she was planted in the ground!

"I tried to catch lier by the tip of her toe as she wafted past me,” wept the Nannie, “but I was too late!” “Too late, too late,” wailed the relations.

Too late, too lato She never ate And now she’s left This mortal state. So that’s her fate, Oh, what a fate, And all because she never ate!

They found it so easy to rhyme with ate they went on and made a moral:

Each child of sense Its breath will bate To hear its guardian relate This little monster’s Dreary fate, And will, we trust, - Not hesitate To take a caution From this date, And empty every Honest plate.

There was nothing more to be done, so everybody went home and had lota of dinner!