Our Conundrum Corner.

Taranaki Daily News, 17 December 1926, Page 10 (Supplement)

Our Conundrum Corner.

What town is often drawn’—Cork. What is it best to do in a hurry?— Nothing. *#. • * What letters know the most? —The Y’s (wise). * • • * Where was the first potato found? —ln the ground. What is the best ship in the ocean? —Seamanship. How do engines hear?—Through their engineers. * * • * Which is the oldest tree in England?—The elder-tree. * * * * When is a window like a star?— When it’s a skylight. * * * * When is a silver cup likely to run? —When it is chased.

Why is a bad cold a great humiliation? —It brings the proudest man to his sneeze (knees). * * * * When is a soldier not even half a soldier?—When he is in quarters, of course. * * * * Why do women dislike the letter A?—Because it makes men mean. * * # * Why is a tight boot like an oaktree? —Because it produces a-corn. * . * ♦ When is money damp?—When it is dew in the morning and mist at night. * * * * - When does a bright idea walk on four legs?—when it is a bright-eyed deer. * * * * What is that which flies high, flies low, has no feet, yet wears shoes?— Dust. * * * * Why arc M.P.s like sweetmeats? — Because they are candidates (candydates). * * * * What is the cheapest breakfast you can have?—A roll on the grass in the park. * * * * If an aviator fell from his aeroplane whai would he fail against?—His inclinations. ♦ * » * Why is coffee like, an axe with a dull edge?—lt must be ground before being used. * * * » Why are weary people like motor car wheels? —Because they are tired ( tyred). * * * » Which town in Norfolk is like ham at ten shillings a pound ?—Dereham (dear ham). * * * * Why did the butterfly flutter by?— Because it saw the. dragon fly drink the flagon dry. Why is the figure 9 like a peacock? —Because both are nothing (0) without their tails. * * * * Why is M so much to be pitied?— Because it is never in luck and is always in misery. Why is a drawn tooth like a thing you have forgotten?—Because it is out of the head. * * * * Why is a lead pencil like a naughty child?—Because it never docs right (write) of its own accord. * * ♦ * What belongs to yourself, but is used by your friends more than by yourself ?—Your name. * » » * What is the difference between a j do;, belonging to a sailor and the I brig!,test of the stars?—One is a • tar's dog and the other is the dog star. 1 THE REASON WHY. At the conclusion of a school treat i an excellent teacher, desirous of administering a little moral lesson, inquired of the boys if they had enjoy- j ed the repast. With the ingenuous modesty of youth they ail responded, "Yes. sir." “But," pursued the excellent teacher, “if you had slipped into the gwden of this kind gentleman who iias provided you with this treat, and without his leave picked the strawberries which you have so much enjoyed. would fthey have tasted as good as now?” Every small boy in the stained and sticky company shrieked, “No, sir.” “Why not?" “'Cause," said one-of the smallest, with the cheerfulness of conscious virtue, “then we shouldn't have had sugar and cream with 'em,”

What has only one foot?—The leg. * .* • • When should you lose your temper—When it is a bad one. ♦ * • * Why did the cake stand?: —Because it saw the apple bough. What is it that We often return b’U never borrow ? ; —Thanks. * » » » When is a girl's hair like the sea? —When it is in “waves." What is it that if you lose is not worth finding?—Your temper. ■ i ♦ • * Why are tall people the laziest?—• Because they lie longest in bed. *** * ' ’ When is a sheep not a sheep?— When it is turned into a meadow. » * * * What Is flic, best thing to make when you are in a hurry?—Haste.

What key in music would make a good officer? —A sharp major. .** * * What’s the difference between your greatcoat and a baby?—One you wear, the other you were. * * * * Why is an irritable man like an unskilful doctor?—Because fie is apt lo lose patience (patients). * * * * What four letters of the alphabet express the feelings of an envious person?—l N v U (I envy you). ♦ * * * Wiiy is an oyster a most curious fish?—Because it has to be taken out of its bed to be tucked in. * * * * Why is a lame dog like a schoolbov adding 6 and 7 together?—Because he puts down 3 and carries 1. * * * * Why is a policeman a very strong man?—Because he can hold up a string of traffic with one hand. * * * * Why is twice eleven like twice ten? —Because twice eleven is twenty-two and twice ten is twenty, too.

McTavish (who has hailed taxi from ranks): “What will it be tae tak me tae the station?” Driver: “Two an' six, sir.” McTavlsh: “Thank'ee—ah just wanted tae ken what ah’d save by walkin’!” * * * *

What wind does a hungry sailor like best?—One that blows foul, the/ chops, and then comes in little puffs. ♦ « » » Why is a room full of married people like an empty room?—Because there is not one single person in It. * * * * Wliat is the. difference between a timid child and a shipwrecked sailor? —The first clings to his ma and the second clings to his spar. ❖ * * * What is taken from you before it is given to you?—Your photograph. QUITE SIMPLE. They were exchanging marvellous dog stories, and the quiet man in the corner was getting very bored. At last lie saw his chance. “Ever hear this one?" he asked suddenly. “A dog was tied lo a rope fourteen feet long. Twenty feet away was a fat, juicy bone. How did the dog get it?" “He didn't gel. it, of course." “Yes, he did. You see the other end of the rope wasn't tide." * * » • TIME TO BEGIN Miss Vayne: I declare I begin to feel that lam growing old. It's really unpleasant. Miss Candid: It must be. You've been young such a very long time, haven’t you?