NUTS AND WINE.

Taranaki Daily News, 20 December 1924, Page 8 (Supplement)

NUTS AND WINE.

TWO GOOD STORIES. Carnegie when a boy used to keep rabbits, but was faced with the problem of supplying them with food. He persuaded some* of his small friends to go round the streets of Dunfermline and collect what herbage they could that might be suitable for the rabbits. There was a second problem of rewarding, the boys, but he hit on the happy idea of calling the rabbits after them. “Andrew Carnegie,” said Lord Levcrhulme, “had a similar reward himself. After his hard work are not all these libiaries called after him? V hat is the difference between libraries and rabbits?” A Lancashire man who went to borrow a lantern from a friend, when asked what he wanted it for, said he was going courting. “I never used a lantern when I went courting,” said the friend. “I thought not,” .said the Lancashire man, “when I saw your wife.” THE OBVIOUS REMARK. At a recent dinner-party in Gravesend the presiding genius was a fine specimen of a Trinity House pilot. One speaker said he was reminded of the eulogy bestowed upon a new minister by a coloured deacon: “Brudders, dis am de most wunnerful minister in creation. He knows de unknowable, he can solve the unscrutable.” The speaker went on to refer to the subject of generosity. The same black deacon once preached, and afterwards passed round the hat. It came back quite empty. “Brudders,” said he, “let us pray. ‘O Lord, I thank Thee that ampngst such a crowd of rotten, mean people I’ve got me ’at back safe.’ ” In concluding his speech the speaker stated that he hoped he had not, as usual on such occasions, merely said the obvious. He thought of the old Cockney soldier, a real East-Ender, who was sitting in a seat in Hyde Park in his hospital costume with an empty sleeve. “Why, my dear man,” said an elderly duchess, “you’ve lost your arm.” “Gor blimy!” says “Old Bill,” glancing at his empty sleeve, “so I ’ave.”