"THE MARRIED WOMAN."

Colonist, Volume LV, Issue 13735, 29 May 1913, Page 7

"THE MARRIED WOMAN."

(By a 'Married Man' in the "Auckland

Herald.")

Consider the woman that is married. She toils not, more than she can help, neither doth she spin (nowadays). Yet Solomon in all his glory would liavo looked like a cheap imitation of a liard-up tramp beside her.

She waketh up in the morning and diggeth her husband in the ribs, yea, oven in the ribs from whence she sprang, diggeth she him, and sayeth unto him, "Behold the morning is at hand, arise, light thou the fire and make, ready the morning feast, whilst I tarry here yet awhile." And her husband, the great all-powerful god of the household, he whose will is of iron, and whose commandments are law, ariseth meekly and doeth her bidding, so that peace may be his portion.' And at about the'ninth hour he departeth unto the city, to gather many shekels wherewith to feed her, and buy her many phrox and hatz, and to- administer unto her many vanities.

Now.-in the days of her maidenhood,, when she dwelt in the house of. her father, she was as one of the lowJiesV of his handmaidens, performing many tasks Avith submission, not'daring to murmur thereat, but when she becometh a wife her soul hankers to possess a handmaiden of her own, yea, even a hired servant, who shall make ready her meals, and perform all the-work of the house, for she sayeth within her heart, "Have not my nayburz many hired servants. Why, therefore, shall I not have one, yea, even though she be but a small one?" So she complaineth unto her husband with .great bitterness, and maketh much outcry, stretch ins forth her arms to him and saying, "Behold the state of my hands. See how the work that I do for thee hath made them coarse, so that I can no longer play cunningly upon stringed instruments, nor . make the pictures upon papyrus wherein thy soul itsed to delight." And her husband being but a short while wed, and therefore as one not in his senses, sayeth' to her, "Do as thou wilt." So she taketh unto her a hired servant, and she maketh tho/lifo of that damsel like unto the 'bottomless :prt> even sheol, so that when seven, days have passed her servant sayeth unto her, "Thou makest of my life a misery, fox- thy tongue is like unto a sharp-edged sword, and thy ways please mo not. Therefore, I pray thee, pay "me. the money that thou owost me, that I may return, unto the house of my fathers." She hearkeneth unto the counsels of

many strange men who live in remote parts of the earth, and whom she knoweth. not, but who say unto her, "Thou shalt shape thy garments in such and such a manner, because we have so decreed it. Thou; wilt not dike the shape, nor -the design of thy raiment, and it will suit thee not, yet shalt tliou do as we bid thee.or be not in the fashun," And when she seeth the garments she has been commanded by these strange men to wear, and to whose counsels she hath harkened with her ear, she weepeth. But she weareth them, for to a woman to be not in the fashun is worse than death. And when she goeth forth into the streets, and among the bazaars of the city, she watcheth her friends to see if they also be wearing garments similar unto her own. And when one meetoth her who hath' not on the latest raiment, then is her soul glad within her, and she rejoicoth exceedingly. Now when the afternoon is come she retireth unto her chamber and putteth upon? her these garments that are. hateful unto her (yet which are greatly beloved). She mixeth the hair of a strange woman with her own, and upon her face and lips she rubbeth paint. Upon her cheeks also, she dusteth a powder like unto flour. Upon her head she placeth a hat containing many feathers, and if it be in the time of winter she wrappcth about b(?r neck the skin of a furry beast, and goeth. forth to call upon her neighbours. And when her neighbours see her corning from afar off they commune among themselves, saying, "Behold, here cometh, that detestable cat, Mrs. Pc-and-so. Let us take away her character before she arriveth. Have you heard about how she—" and so on and so on Hut whon she cometh into their midst, they fall upon her neck, aiu? kiss her upon the cheek, and cry with glad voices, "So glad to see you, dear." For such is tho way of a woman. And when the afternoon i hr spent she departeth unto her ovrn dwelling. And if peradventure her husband returns in the evening, tired and weary, after the chasing of many shekels in the city, and desireth not to hear tho music of her voice-, nor to listo.ll unto the scandals of the outer parts of the' city, which are called the suburbs, then she revileth him after the manner of her kind, calling' him grumpi, and saying, "Thou no longer Invest me." But if he had made many shekels during tho day, and is £*;;\d thereat, then sayeth she unto him, "Dearest, I saw the loveliest frock down town to-day. Do I find favour in the eyes of my lord?" And she sitteth upon tho side of his chair, and twineth one of her arms around his neck, and stroketh him upon the bald place of his head and callelh him a "dear old darling." Then that man's blood turns to water within him, and after awhile he arisoth, and writetl/ for her a cheque. And she taketh it from him, and foldcth it up small and placeth it in the bosom of her garment. And she smileth at herself in the glass, slightly shutting one of her eyelids the while. And she caresseth him no more that evening, for I say unto you, doth the fowler lay the snare when the bird is caught? In the evening she goeth unto p j friend's house, and sitteth at a table whereat are three others. And there are given unto her thirteen pieces of cardboard, whereon are marked st'-ange symbols. And she placeth these thirteen pieces of cardboard upon the table in a certain manner, and her three friends do likewise, each to eact. And at about the eleventh i^ur of the night she ariseth sadly, handeth unto her friend upon her right many shekels of gold. And her friend who sitteth opposite doeth likewise, and they depart unto their homes in great tribulation, for, behold, their luck is out, yea, verily they have been skinned. She possosseth many garments, yet when she is bidden to a feast, or to a' dance, she waileth with a loud voice unto he who is her husband, saying, "I .cannot possibly go. I have nothing to wear." And she refuseth to be comforted. And after many tears have been shed she smileth a glad s,mile and departeth privily to a maker of garments and buyeth new raiment that | she may go unto the feast. And when the night of the feast-has come her husband taketh his glad raiment, yea, even his beautiful claw-hammer coat out of the cupboard in. the spare room, and brusheth it, and ponreth ink on the seams that are beginning to show. For tho evening gown of a woman is but the. joy of a single night, but a man's dress suit endureth for ever. She flirteth with many men, but should another damsel find favour jin the sight of her husband she weepeth and threateneth 'to depart unto her mother on the morrow. . All of these things and more als"o must the man who is married bear, for verily I say unto you, man that is married to woman hath a hard row to hoe, and his days are full of trouble. / Women who obstruct the view of ! people by wearing large hats" are to beprohibited by law from buying a new hat for throo years in tho State of Texas, if a Bill just xintroducd in tho Legislature there is passed. Senator H; W. Blcsford, tho "Express" explains, found his view obstructed in church, and brought forward the Bin at once. It seeks to make it unlawful for any woman to wear in church or at any public gathering any hat or.bead-, dress haviife; a crown or any ornament. exceeding two inches in height, or c 1 brim more than four inches wide. At 1 tho end of three years offenders will bo 1 permitted to buy only a certain uni- ' form type of. hat costing less than Bs. \■N 'i; EXHILARATION. , First thing in the morning take a \ cup of steaming hot Crescent-Tea and the effects will be exhilarating. The '- rich theino has the property of exparidi ing the arteries nearest the surface, of , the skin, and,so causes a flow of warm ' blood. , Three grades of Crescent, 2s, Is lOd, Is 8d per lb.