COOD STORIES.

Colonist, Volume LII, Issue 12754, 29 March 1910, Page 4

COOD STORIES.

Little boy," asks tho well-meaning reformer, "is that your mamma over yonder witli the beautiful set of furs?" "Yes, sir," answers, the bright lad. "Woll, do you know what poor animal it is that has had. to suffer in order that your mamma might have the furs with which sho adorns herself, so proudly?" ' . "Yes, sor. My papa." At the close of. a revival service the minister went dowii the, church aisle, according to his custom, to greet strangers in his, congregation. "I don't think you are a member of our church," ho said to one, as he warmly shook his hand. "No, sir," replied the stranger. "Well, you will not think me unduly curious if I ask to what denomination you belong?" asked the minister. "I suppose," responded the other, "with a twinkle in his eye, "fchafc I am really what you mughfc call a submerged Presbyterian." "A submerged exclaimed the minister. "I should be glad if you would explain." "Well, I was brought up a Presbyterian, my wife of a Methodist, my oldest daughter is. a Baptist, my son is tho organist of a Unitarian church, my seoond daughter sings in aii* episcopal choir, and my youngest goes to a Congregational Sunday school." "But," said the minister, aghast, "you contribute, doubtless, tb some church?" "Yes," was the answer, "I contribute to all of them, and that's what submerges me." / ___ The gentleman with the well-fed appearance, who liad motored over fxom the nearest town to deliver his lecture "The Ait of Getting On" in the village school room, concluded ivith a fine burst. "Effort is- the keystone of success," he said. "The successful man is the man who strives persistently. His motto is 'Push and keep on pushing,' for by that, and that alone, he reaches his goal!" Before the bulk of the audience made much headway with their clapping, a small maai at tlie back got in a laugh that might "have come fi*om a megaphone. The lecturer held up his hand for silence. "You, too, my fiaend, will have to push " he commenced. "So'll you, I reckon," interrupted the' small man, "there's 'arf a dozen youngsters been piuclim' your petrol ter light a bonfire!" At th-*-, storming of a fort, -when scaling ladders had been placed, an .Irish private; with one foot-^on the ladder, was about to climb up when a young officer stepped before him saying: "Officers first, my lad. Follow me, for this is where _ Victoria Crosses are earned." Tlio private now followed close behind him, but on reaching the top a rpund shot, carrying the , subaltern's head away, his body fell back. Pat grasping the ladder and swinging aside as if to allow those behind him to pass, shouted, "Begorrah now, is tliere any moro of yes* '-below that's nuxious for the Victoria Cross?"