OUR TRAWI NET.

Colonist, Volume LI, Issue 12483, 9 March 1909, Page 1

OUR TRAWI NET.

. . .... --"-,. ■>»• ~'i \\fZ. l l%*/k°l wanted to give his mo- ' , day P rese nt, and he did ■it I? C d £ d t( \£ lye her a ; Bible. After (J h6 had bought it he did not know - what to. put on the front page, so after looking through some of the books in the library, he decided to put the following on: "To dear mother, with the author's; compliments." j ' Jle had made a hearty meal at a ! restaurant, and geting up lie said to ' the- waiter: "I declare I have for-! gotten my purse." The waiter fired ', np,.and hurled big words, at him for tull three minutes before pausing for oreath. When* a chance came the! stranger continued— "But* I hay I »- a sovereign in my waistcoat pocket. The waiter couldn't smile -to save his life. , ■> teacher : "Johnny, I hear that you have two little twin sisters at your house this morning.'' Johnny: "Yes ma'am; and we've got names for them, too.'' School teacher: "Why, how nice!. I suppose one of them is to be named after your mamma; but what is she going tb call the other?" Johnny: "No, they- ain't got girl names. Pa calls them "Thunder and Lightning' as soon as he heard about theni." A littleboy listening to the*, weird skirl of the bagpipes of a "street Highlander", said to his father, "Father, why does tlie piper keep on the I move all the time he ; plays?" "I can't say," my bos," the father -answered "unless it is to prevent anj'one geting his range with a stone !" * _"I have .- a : chance to marry ' a poor l girl whom I love, and the opportunity : of wedding a rich woman whom I do ; not love. What would you advise?" - asked a man. of his closest friend. ■; "Love is the salt of life, my boy!" J was the reply. "Without it all else is < naught. Love— -pure joy— -makes pov- i erty wealth, . pain a joy, earth a * heaven!" Enough! I will marry the * poor girl whom I- love!" declared the i first speaker, "Bravely spoken!" re- - joined his friend. "By the way," he added, "would you— cr — mind introducing me to the rich woman whom you dp not love?" ._-- Two country butchers sold sausages; the one had his marked- Is a pound, and. the other at once marked his 8d a pound. No.'* lin response to this, placed a label to the effect that sausages sold under Is per pound could not be guaranteed. No 2 immediately wrote a label, and put it on his sausages, bearing those words — "My sausages have been supplied to the King." Things went quiet for a few days, then an extra large card appeared in No. I's window, bearing the words, "God Save the King!" '*. A lady, whose given name is Mary, as is also the name of her daughter, had engaged a domestic, when, -to -her. embarrassment, she discovered that the. servant's name, too, was Mary. . Whereupon there ensued a. struggle to induce the applicant to relinquish her idea that she must be addressed by her Christian name. For some_time she was rigidly uncompromising. "Under the circumstances, - said the lady of the .house, "there' is nothing to do but to follow the English custom and call you by your last name. By the way, what is it?" "Well, mum," answered the girl dubiously, it's 'Darling.'"