OUR TRAWL NET.

Colonist, Volume LI, Issue 12475, 27 February 1909, Page 1

OUR TRAWL NET.

Seeing a tramp hurry away from a large house, a fellow-professional asked him what luck he had mst with. "It ain't wo rf arskin' there," was tho reply. "I jest ad a peep through tho winder. It's a poverty-stricken 'ouse, mac. There was acshully two ladies playing on one pianner!" " O'Grady was complaining to his reverence about "siviral things thet wint wrong agen an' agen sorra matther how he'd watch." To add to his worries, that morning Mrs O'Grady had soundly rated him for carelessness in tramping on two chickens. His reverence (trying to console) : "Well, you know man proposes ; you know it, don't you ?" - O'Grady: "\ is, yer riyirince, an' sits on the sthqol iv repintance the remainder aye his days." "S— s— sus-say ma," stammered Bob by through the suds at his mother scrubbing him, "I guess you want to get rid o' me, don't you?'" 'Why no, Bobby dear," replied his mother. "What over put such an idea as that into your mind?" "Oh, nothin'," said Bobby. "Only it seems to mo you're tryin' to rub me out."An English visitor lately accompanied a Melbourne friend on a tour through the Mallee (says the "Ar- - gus"). They called at a little backcountry hotel to take shelter from a sudden thunderstorm The lightning was particularly vivid, the thunderclaps heavy aud the visitor unacquaint ed with the splendour of our summer storms, was visibly impressed. "It's just magnificent/ he said to the landlord. "I don't know that I ever saw anything like it." The compliment touched the landlord's patriotism. "It's not bad, is it, considerin' the small population P" Hostess (at party) : 'And does your mother allow you to have two pieces of pie when you are at home Willie Willie (who has asked for the second piece) : 'No, ma'am.' Hostess: 'Well, do you think she would like you to have two pieces Willie (confidently): 'Oh! she wouldn't care. This isn't her pie, you know." Mr Tyte-Phist (on lake steamer): "What's the price of a dinner on this boat?" ' ■ . „ Steward : "Seventy-five cents, sir. Mr Tyte-Phist: "That's altogether too much, when the lake's as rough as it is to-day ; I'll go without." Professor's wife: "You havn't kissed me for a week." Professor: ''Are you sure? Then who is it 1 have been kissing?' An architect remarked to a lady that he had been to:see the great nave in the new church. The lady replied : "Don't mention names.^ I know the man to whom you refer." Slow waiter: "Have I ever been in the country, sir? No, sir. why do you ask?" Tired customer: "I was just thinking how thrilling you'd find it to sit on a fence and watch tho tortoises whia by." "I enjoy a quiet smoke," saß a man to a fellow-passengor on a steamer. "Well," said the stranger, moving across the deck, "you will never be . troubled with- crowds -while you smoks cigars of that brand."