MY EXPERIENCES AT THE HOSPITAL BALL.

Colonist, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 8329, 17 August 1895, Page 2

MY EXPERIENCES AT THE HOSPITAL BALL.

[By One Who Was There.] Accepting the assurances of a learned Judge that the two classes ot human beingß, oommonly Vmwn as upp;r and lower, would at the above ball oomingte, and that Mary Jane would indulge in the mazy with Arohelaas Arobimedes, and that Adeltt Adolina would likewise chow congeniality to Jobn Williams I resolved to ba extravpgant and a 1 tend, taking t< myself at the same time credit in rendering needed help to afflicted mankind. Not wishing to appear to any disadvantage on so important an ocossioo, I sought my euit of black, wbich bad regaeJ my father's grandfather in bia young and frivolous days. The Bait was cherished as a family relic, and bad only been worn by me on ore other oooasion, and that was at a picnic Excepting that it waa Bcmewhat tight m!dw«y, and ehowed signs of disaster lif I wore not careful, it fitted handsomely. As I bad determined to enjoy myself &% all hazards, the fact of the trousers being a trifle half-mast did not worry me in the least, because anjone who knew my father's grandfather voald accept the position at a R'auce, and wou d know that whereas I was Bix feet high, he was an inch or two under five feet. As I have already stated I was determined to enjoy myself, I aooepted with a smile of contentment the embnrassing situation of having; 10 wear carpet slippers instf ad of new dancing ones, through the mistskn of a fellow 10-tger, who had in error entered my room in mistake for bis owd, and appropriated mine. I beard him afterwards exp-eesing entire satisfaction with the manner iv which hia shoemaker bad regenerated Lie old cnes. Being somewhat late, I hurried on to the hall, and here, to my int-nse surprise, I discovered that I bad at the last moment snatohed up my black gloves for whits. Could anything be more annoying I The thoughtfulness of the maker, however, ie lining the b aok ones with a whitißh material proved a boon to me. A. happy though ;' seized me— l turned them inside out. By thi9 time I was fearfolly cohered with perspiration. My clothes seem 3d to fit me muob tighter, and bore evidence of missbsp in many parts. But I had determined to enjoy myself, SB you are now aware, and nothing would put me off. As I entered the hall, I was dazzled with the speotaole before me. I thought I must have been In fairyland, co brilliant was it. The ladies moved about like stately swans, and their robes were of the finest hues, and their faces most handsome. I felt almost disposed to put ' my hand out" and feel if I was awake I might bave had not the orchestra warbled forth its Bwott strains, which proved the signal for the occupants of the hall to luck in each othe>'s ombraca and to oommence to piopel round the room. I stood Etiil in woodeimenf. At last I was persuaded to indulge also. I could not dance as I iold my friend who sought a partner of.the Cinderella Ciroaesia type for me, but he recommended me t3 do my best. "We ate all one this eveu^ ing " said he. I did my best. I twirled my partner round at an enormous paoe. Several oouplea bad to jetire to undergo repairs due it was said to my extreme clumsiness and long carpet niippered feet. I denied the imputation altogether. The idea of one wbo u&s determined to enjoy himee f, and who was dancing for the first time, commuting such an outrage was preposterous I bowed my graceful acknowledgments to my partner and solicited a continuance of her favors, tjnd desired her programme, but while expressing the pleasure she had experienced in the 1 ' waltz," just completed, Bhe regretted that htr programme was fall. A short in erv ; ;l now took place, and again there was a stir. The musical eonrtnotor was beard to Bay in an audible whisper — "Now, are sou ready; keep the same time ; we'll give them eight bars as a preliminary ; now watch me — one ! two ! — and the music again poured fortb. Several gentleman, wearing rosettes, now moved amongst the various couples, who formed iu:o squares. 1 was determined to enjoy myself, so I pursued my way to the rendezvous of two ladies and Bought the •' pleasure, etc." but I was taken baok somewhat when a lady nearly advanced her arm. I looked into her sweet faco and discovered that while one eye pjioted to the front, the other pointed tj me. Being similarly afflicted myself the so.ution I was f roed to face found no explanation. They were evidently waiting our arrival, which was delayed through a slight aooident on my part. The floor of the hall had for come reason or other been greased, in order, I believe, to illow the more heavy of the party ths option of sliding if preferred. Iv this particular instance I adopted the latter coarse to my own detriment I was even more successful in ttra danoe than the previous one, in faot, I became the centre of attraction, and the subject of my own aimiration. The music had stopped sometime when one of the aforesaid gentlemen accos'ed me, and inquired if I was waiting for the Bixih figure. I offered profuse apologies for my absent mindedness. I had become so infatuated with the fair violinist in the orchestra as to forget the danca. My partner had alao dwappsartd, but nn subsequent enquiry I found the had, through her paculiar ailment, mistaken another gentleman for me, and had been comfortably seated long since. This proved to be my la>t dance. It was not my faulr, however ; the programmes appeared to be either a^l full, or the ladies were too much fatigued. As I had determined to enjoy myself I waa Borry for this ; I wbb just beginning to feel at home. I was much ehooked at the conduct of one gentlemen in the " waltz " later on. He had evidently mistaken '.he ballroom for a tkaticg rink, and in trying to manipulate a large " S " came to grief, and brought his partner with him. In due course I found my way into the supper room which was rxote to my taste than tha ballroom and in t very respect I wbs more successful there. Some of tee fowls still remained half feathered, and the one I com menedd operations upon must have been several seasons older than myself. I finally settled down to salad and ham. lhesaia.i was unusually delioious, bat whether it was composed of the usual ingredients, I am at a losa to know. I had finally to seek repose in ihe impromtu drawing room. Some of the scenes there, although not original, wer-j most affecting, and having a unnatare oamera with me I was enabled to take several capital scap-i-hots, one of which depicted Arohelaus in great distresß endeavoring to res ore to its natural state the fainting form ofAdelins. 1 waß so much engrossed with these real life scenes that I a most forgot another promised visit to the supper room. How long I stayed the last time I am unable to Bay. Being accustomed to retire early, I had fallen iiito a dreamy condition. Everythirjg rose before me like a dream even to the half-fledged pull&t I had partly devoured. When I realised my position, it was to discover that sponge cake had formed my <uattra s, but I was troubled over the fact that I had mistaken a trifle for a pi. low. As I passed tao out.r oourts io the dressing room, the orchestra waß playing " After ib.B Bail" for the last extra, with a vigor that betokened a too wise induigeaoe in stivng tea I esoaped home unobserved, but on reiohing that spot I was once more made wrero'jed by finding a ham bone piouodoing from one overooat pooket and a partly cooked fowl from t-je other. I bad Uft my own ooat in the hall, and had taken a highly esteemed friend's. Aa I was determined to enpy my > elf, I did not let such a tmail matter disturb me, and retired to bed, where I have been bvei sine?. H>wever, when the nex. Hospital Ball takes plao», I have deoided to again extend to it the distinguished patronage of " One Who Waa There." LECTURE AT ST. JOHN'S CHURCH. Thebe was a fair attendance at Bt John's Wesleyan Ohuroh. last evening, when a very , interes'iDg lecture was delivered by the Key J. Ward, of Wellington, upon " Ilemimscences of the Maori War." ifce chair was taken by Colonel Pitt, who said he regretted there were not mere present, especially young people. The subject of the leuture, he remarked, waa of exceptional interest to New Zealande>s, and especially to rvelsoniins, because of their connection in respect to saooour given, and of whiob they were reminded by the Trafalgar Park, whiou. was purchased by the balance of the money subscribed to aid the Taranakians. He alßo .poke of tbe good sirvioee rendered at the

iine of the Maori war by Major (afterwa r de G !ir Harry) Athinson, and by tbe late Judge a I cbm nd, regarding both of whom he made vi cry fueling reference. tl Th* Rev J. Ward, who was born in Tara- a laki. his father having come oat to that V 'rovinoe in the year 1844 as a minister of p he Methodist Ohuroh, then proceeded to ■iv ihi 9 reminis?enoes of the war. After a irief account of the events which led up to be war, he narrated many me dents that tame under his own notice. He ppifce of jow, whilst his lather was preaching in Dhureh one morciag, the signal guns werf Bred, and the whole congregation 1* ft in a tiurry— not even waiting for the eolltcthn One day, whilat the lecturer waa playing [Barbies, a boy passed him wbo had bet-n seat to bring in the cows, and as the custom then wa*, he warned the boy to " look ou ( . tor the Maoris"; but an hoar later the body of the lad was brought in horribly mutilated by tha Naive?. On one occasion his brother, who was connected wUb the Commissariat Department 1 , without a 3 use departed from his usual custom of riding by the direct road to a eerlain redoubt, and went round by th* beaoh. Shortly afcer a Maori inforrrei him tbat on that very day a patty of 30 Natives lay in wait to ehtot him, bis escape being simply due to his having that once departed from bis cußtom. His brother, later on, was woonded at Mahoatai Pah. One instance, be told, of bow a man attempted to esoape service by claiming to be deaf, but whose deception was cleverly detected by Dr Bawson, and he Bpoke of the oironmstances connected with the death of the Key John Whiteley. The lecturer spoke very highly of the bravery displayed by the Maoris all through, and inataoced tbe gillant defence of Orasau Pab, where 400 Natives, including women ani i children, under Rewi, were attacked by 1500 troops commanded by General Cameron, but refused to surrender. On the motion of the Rev G. Bond, a very hearty vote of thanka was aooorded the Rev J. Ward for his able and highly interesting leotme. A vote of thanks waa also accorded tbe Chairman.