TEN THINGS A BABY CAN DO.

Colonist, Volume XXX, Issue 5017, 28 September 1887, Page 3

TEN THINGS A BABY CAN DO.

(From the ' Philadelphia News.') It can beat any alarm clock ever invented for waking a family up in the morning. - Give it a fair show and it can smash more dishes than the most industrious servant girl in the country. It can fall down oftener and with less provocation than the most expert' tumbler in the circus ring. It can make more genuine. fun over a simple brass pin than its mother would over a broken back. It can choke itself black in the face with greater ease than the most accomplished wretch that was ever executed. It can keep a family in a constant turmoil from morning till night, and night till morning, without once varying its tune. It can be relied upon to sleep peacefully all day when its father is down town, and cry persistently at night when he is sleepy. It may be the naughtiest, dirtiest, ugliest, most fretful baby in all the world, but you can never make its mother believe it, and you had better not try it. * ' • ; It can be a charming and model infant when no one is around, but when visitors are present it can exhibit more bad temper than both of its parents together. • It can brighten up a house better than all the furniture ever made; make sweeter music than the finest orchestra organised ; fill a largerplace in its parents' breast than they knew they had, and when it goes away it can cause a greater vacancy and leave a greater blank than all the rest of the world put together.