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Colonist, Volume XIX, Issue 2248, 23 June 1877, Page 3

A Good Samaritan Society ia being formed in Punedin in order to retain tbe services of Mr. Torrance as Gaol, Hospital, and Lunatic Asylum chaplain. The Tasmanian Agricultural Statistics for. 1876-7, show that tbe yield of wheat for the year was 753,070 bushels ; oats, 571,545 bushels ; potatoes, 27,289 tons ; hay, 35,907 tons. The number of acres in crop was 127,117, and the total number under cultivation 332,395. The gross produce of potatoes grown in New Zealand this year, is estimated at 86,922 tons being an increase of 16,190 tons over thai* of 3876. Of this quantity it was computed that Otago would yield 24,600 tons. On June lltb, two passenger trains came into collision at the Spencer-.atreet station, Melbourne, when thirteen persons were injured, some receiving severe cuts and contusions. T/he accident occurred from the signals not being given properly. ! The Judges' Pension Bill in the South Australian Parliament fixes the judges' widowa'pensions at £250, and tkpae, of the

General IdNATiEFP1 was liked by all thd Londoners except his innkeeper, who complained that the General was invited out so constantly it wasn't worth while to have him in the house. "Two breakfastisses," said the unhappy host, was all his jjuesu paid for in the way of meals. A Deaf and Dumb Marriage.—At Sfe. Paul's Church, Alnwick, two persons, who were both deaf and dumb, have been joined in wedlock. They had got acquainted when at school in Newcastle, and interpreters had to be resorted to to give the proDer responses on the interesting occasion.

Another Ten "Wanted. —At a meeting in London to receive a report from missionaries sent to recover the tribes of Israel, a certain lord was asked to take the chair. "I take," he replied, stutteringly, " a gweat, a vewy gweat intewest in your wesearches, gentlemen. The fact, is I have bowoed money from all twibes at the East and West-End ; if you can find a new set I shall feel vewy much obliged."

Eoyal Annuities.—-The following are the sums received yearly by the Eoyal family: — The Princess Eoyal, Crown Princess of Prussia, £8000, voted at her marriage; the Prince of Wales, £40,000; the Princess of Wales, £10,000; Prince Alfred £25,000; Prince Arthur and Prince Leopold, £15,000; Princess Alice (bt Hesse), Princess Helena (of Schleswig), and Princess Louise, £6000 each; Princess Mary (of Teck),£sooo; Princess Augusra(of Mecklenburg), £3000; the Duchess of Cambridge, £3000; the Duke of Cambridge, £12,000, besides his military income. An interesting discovery ha 3 been made in Invercargill. The Licensing Commissioners there refused some licenses which were in proper course opposed by the police. It is now discovered that one of the Commissioners is so deaf that lie cannot possibly have heard a word of the evidence. It is thought that this will afford a good ground for upsetting the decision. Pacific Island Labor.—The barque Prospector has arrived at Sydney from Levuka. During her absence she has been engaged in conveying time-expired laborers to their homes in the various islands of the New Hebrides, &c. She has made two trips, taking nearly a thousand men, women, and children, many of whom had been kidnapped. The return of the natives was found to have a salutary and it ia hoped lasting effect in decreasing the hostility of the savages, who on the second trip showed sincere good feeling and frendliuess. Early Visitor: Is your master up ? — Nobleman's Valet (with great innocence) : Yes, sir. The butler and I carried him up about three o'clock.

Trade in America.—lt ia stated on good authority, that a couple of months ago, there were two million unemployed laborers in America. Since 1873 wages in the same country hav Te on an average fallen forty per cent. Well may the working-men of America look towards these Colonies with longing eyes. A QuESTiONALE! BARQ-Aiiir. —A minister once discovered his wife asleep in the midst of his family on the Sabbath. So, pausing in the Bteady and somewhat monotonous flow of his oratory, he broke forth with this personal address, sharp and clear, but very deliberate :—" Susan !" Susan opened her eyes and ears in a twinkling, as did all other dreamers in the house, whether asleep or awake. " Susan ! I didna marry ye for your wealth, since ye had nane ; and I didna marry ye for your beauty—that the hail congregation can see ; and if ye have na grace, I have made but a sair bargain. A Wise Besoltttion. —A printer's boy, in sweeping up, found a collection of rejected manuscript, both prose and poetry ; with a downcast look and blanched cheeks he exclaimed to himself—" Oh, dear, what & waste of brains ! I don't think I ever shall write for the newspapers —except I am one of the editors. They have the best of it, no matter whether they write sense or nonsense."

Truth is sorry to hear that Mr Spurgeon has not reoovered his health. Hard work haß told its tale oa him. Last Sunday he could hardly get through his accustomed Berrices.

The latest result of the calf pen being locked up at luncheon time is that yesterday; a cart belonging to a well-known brewer^ containing bottled XXX, drew up before the-' buildings, and the carter proceeded to deliver; his cargo. A mistake occurred in doing this, for the owner of the case was Mr S , of the sword and scabbard department, and it was delivered fo a gentleman of the same name belonging to the JRed Tape and Obstruction Department, who thought that some kind outside acquaintance had made him a present, and accordingly broke bulk and made merry in company with his fellow obstructionists. Imagine the disgust of the. rightful owner, who was informed of the unfortunate occurrence when his beer was all but finished ! The balance of that case of beer was quickly removed.-—"Wellington Post.

Complimentaet. — Dreadful Old Man (who only believes in Professional music): I hope yoa Amateur gentlemen take a real pleasure in performing? —Chorus: Certainly we do!— Dreadful Old Man: Then, at least,, there is some compensation for the torture you inflict!— Punch. Welly Nice.—An Australian paper saja a Chinaman has been so fortunate as to unearth a 301b. nugget in an abandoned claim in Close' Gully, behind th© late residence of Mr. Cathy, at Eiponshire. John, it appears,! was driven to hia last resources, not being able to procure a shilling's worth of rice, when he unearthed the welcome stranger, valued at £1440. John said, "Welly large one, welly nice, me wheel 'im home in a; barrow." Several nuggets have since been found in the same gully.

Me. Kees, M.H.K, in his capacity as a. lawyer, has caught a tartar ia his Honor Mr. Justice Kichmond. Hia Honor during the recent sittings at Napier had occasion to reprobate some course of practice, and Mr.. Kees tried to explain it all away, when his Honor rejoined;" They were made on certain aaeumpUoos, and it h»u not yet been Hhovvi^

that the objection has not been raised for the purpose df delay. Don't ask rue to retract anything, lost I should repeat more emphatically the remarks I then made. The remarks referred to no person by namej but only to the mode of proceeding, which I felt it to be my duty to reprobate." Mr, Rees: " I was referred to by name, and I " His Honor (warmly) : " Mot by me. The ramarks I made were impersonal, and I did not know to whom they might apply. According to my oath, sir, 1 felt bound to make them in the interestß of justice."

At Cromwell (Otago), a boy aged ten years, has been sent to prison for a month for picking pockets. Some half-bred sheep killed at Oamaru (Otago), the other day, turned the scale at one hundred and forty pounds. Some of the legs, after being trimmed, weighed as high as twenty-one pounds. The sheep came from Messrs. Studholme Brothers' ruu, Waimate, Canterbury. Colonial Romance.—-The Bendigo Advertiser of June 6th mentions a curious story :—On Saturday last, at the new rush at Fletcher's Creek, Marong, two elderly miners had a high dispute respecting a claim, one of them having jumped it on the other. In the course of the wordy warfare which ensued, one of the old pioneers was struck by something in the tone of the voice of his opponent, and suddenly asked biro his name. When the reply was given, the two mineis discovered that they were brothers, having left home some twenty-five years ago, and had never since seen each other. Both had come to Australia by different vessels, young, in the flush of health and hope, and for many long weary years had striven hard for ■wealth, which they never gained. Disgusted, melancholy, and disappointed, they ceased to correspond with their families and one another, and eao.h had learned to enjoy his own companionship better than that of any one else. The two brothers are now working the disputed claim together. A Bit fob Bung.—Says " Punch" : A firm of mechanicians advertise " Lifts for Hotels." Who will invent lifts for publichouses, too many of which require elevation to the level ot respectability ?

London. —During the last twenty-five years over ten thousand eight hundred houses per annum have been built in London. "What a marvellous growth!

The following " scene m Court" is stated to have occurred recently at Hokitika, in the case of Regina v. Mulligau. After the verdict haJ been returned, the question — " What is your age ?" was put to the prisoner. To which he replied, " Write home and find out." He then turned to the jury and said, shaking his fist at them, " There is not a man among you." Turning to the Bench he continued, " There's neither law nor justice in this Court."

The following is from the Sydney 'Evening Neivs : —" A most extraordinary story comes authenticated from near Lismore, on the JRichmond River. Some blacks (says the Macleay Herald) were camped near, and Bheltered by a cave in the locality, and on going abroad left a picaninny asleep in the cave. On returning they misaed the child, and on making search discovered him at some yards distance, swallowed by a huge snake all but the feet, which were protruding from the jaws of the monster. The snake measured over 14 feet in length, and ■was of exceptionally large girth. The same correspondent of our informant (his son) mentions another monster snake, which entwined itself round a bullock, depriving him of the power of motion. In this position he was despatched, and found to measure 16 feet in length." The author of Baron Munchausen would have been proud of such a story as this.

A new wharf is to be erected at Onehunga (Auckland) at a cost of nine thousand four hundred and ten pounds.

Intemperance.—Some of the witnesses who gave evidence before the recent House of Lords' Committee on intemperance, very strongly advocated free trade in drink, with heavy responsibility as to character. The annual expenditure by working-men in England upon intoxicating liquors, is estimated at one hundred and forty million pounds.

Rare Honesty.—ln 1858, Messrs. Southwell, carpet manufacturers, of Bridgenorth, failed, paying their creditors seven shillings in the pound. Mr T. M. Southwell, the sole surviving partner, has just distributed ten thousand pounds amongst the creditors paying their claims in full.

Among- the newspaper reporters in the IVench Senate is a young lady, aged about twenty years.

Why?—lntelligent Pet: Ma, dear, what do they play the organ so loud for when church is over? Is it to wake us ud ?

Out West, recently, a bridegroom returned, some time after his wedding, to give the officiating clergyman an additional fee because, "his bride had turned out a much better woman than he had expected." An exceedingly rare occurrence!

Strange, if Tbtte.—An Invercargill exchange is responsible for the following:— "It may not be generally known, for we believe that it has not appeared in any printed account of the Arctic Expedition^ that while tvith his sledging party, the beard of Commander Albert Markham turned whice, but resumed its usual color in about a month after getting back to the ship. This, moreover, was not a solitary case. All 'the others turned white, like the foxes and hares.

A Capital Place.—Scene, Irish steeplechase course, just before the race. Veteran Sportsman to Country Cousin : Begorra, Jack, this 'ud be our spot; we'ud be apt to see a corpse here ! — Punch.

Gold and. Silter in Africa. —Captain Burton has returned from a mission to Moila, the object of which was to verify the existence of gold and silver mines reported by the natives. The mission is said to have been completely successful.

Bowled Out.—lt is asserted that considerable parts of an eloquent speech made by Lord Lytton, during the Imperial assemblage at Delhi (India), were uttered by Mr Pitzjaines Stephen aoine years ago in almost the identical words,

OtaQo.-*>A conference" of County chairmen in Otdfjo is to meet in Dunediu oil 2nd July.—The CoiitUv of Vincent has at prosent a credit balance of over £6,000.— Owing to reductions in the Mounted Constabulary, the monthly gold escort will shortly be abolished.—Two quarter of an acre sections in Wansbeck-street, Oamaru, have been sold for £2,000 and £2,soo.—Bread is. fifteen pence the four-pound loaf at Cromwell; flour is £20 a ton. —A squatter, residing near Mataura, has affixed the following notice on the entrauce gatea to his property :—" Mo labor wanted. JS"o admittance except on business."—At the coming ploughing match at Tokomairiro, a special prize of a fat sheep is offered " for the ploughman who has the largest family."—The Guardian calls the Gaol, the nnw Immigrants' Home.

The Bishop of Ballarat haß by no means an exalted opinion of the morals of Victoria. On a clergyman's arrival in Melbourne his Lordship says:—" Judgin•■» from the extracts you have been good enough to enclose, Mr. Jones must be a man of no common power. I trust he may be enabled of God to do good service amongst us, in helping to lift Victorian life out of the falseness and frivolity into which it seems by some means to have sunken. Such men —and many more of them —seem sorely needed in our Colony." The Argus mentions the changes in the personnel of the House of Kepresentatives are :—Sir Donald M'Lean replaced by Mr. Sutton. Mr. Travers takes the place of Mr. Pearce ; Mr. Gisborne that of Mr. Tribe ; and the Rev. Dr. Wallis fills the place of Mr. Tonks. The only other change is that caused by the resignation of Mr. Andrew, whose place is not yet filled.

One of the foremost champiouesses of women's rights is about to condescend to matrimony. Mr. John Bright's niece, Miss Liliaa xAshworth is going to herself a husband in the person of Profesßor Halletfc, of Bristol.

" You must not judge a man by his coat," says the " Tapanui Courier," and in support of its observation it submits the following : — "A dilapidated-looking individual, hailing from the Emerald Isle, attended the late land sale. From his appearance, you would not give 7s 6d for all his effects ; and this opinion ot his poverty was strengthened when he went to one of the stores, aud drawing out a dirty, greasy, old chamois leather purse,, produced three coppers, and asked for an equivalent iv biscuits to that amount. The good-natured storekeeper, thinking he was ' hard-up,' and unable to pay for a dinner, gave him at least a shilling's worth of biscuits for his coppers, and was rather disgusted to see the same lone orphan bidding up to £800 and £1000 for sections of land at the sale. He was a careful man."