REVIEW.

Colonist, Volume II, Issue 177, 1 July 1859, Page 3

REVIEW.

A Volume entitled TnE Truthful Traveller, being some account of Noslen, by a Traveller in those parts, giving a sketch of the Country, its Inhabitants, their Manners, Customs, Amusements, Literature, Politias, &c. By Citsuao(Concluded from our last number.) "Smada has an interest in'the same business, and acts as legal adviser. He is one of the best lawyers here, because he is one of the most honest; so his ; character is invulnerable to the audacious enemy, j They say they are always looking after flaws in his bills, when in point of fact they are looking after the brads in the treasury, which they find very difficult to nail. Sdnommis. Nosdod, and Rekrap are staunch supporters of these. They do not waste much time in speech, nor do they commit themselves by their acts ; so I fervently hope that their election will be as sure in another world as it is in this. Ornom is the avowed leader.of the opposition, and I shall let his acts speak for themselves, which occur frequently in this work, as they will characterise him better than I shall. He. possesses many dogs: and as I have not treated on this subject, and as they are always making a row, I may as well call them in at once and dismisa? them, and return to the master-subject afterwards. Ttoille is a docile spaniel of the Charles breed, and whoever caresses him most is sure to have him constantly at their heels. He was caressed by Droffats, and he fawned on him to a wonderful degree—licking him all over, down to his feet, in the most servile manner. He was formeily despised, but is now petted by Ornom, and with his usual facility he now turns to him and rubs his head ' against him, and his coat too, till he makes himself' dog cheap, and looks quite a sleek little fellow. He is a faithful animal, and if any body attacks his master he barks and bites astonishingly. To illustrate his sagacity I may mention that he was a short time ago more than one hundred miles away from his master, when a tremendous uproar called him back, and he came running into the house, wagged his tail, and at the word of command, fired a great gun; fortunately, it did no damage, though the unlucky dogs run a chance of being blown away and utterly dispersed by the popular breath of Larenes? Noitcele. It is hoped Ornom will never let his clogs med<lle with fireworks again, or that he will employ a more competent powdermonkey. There are two dull, sullen dogs, called Nayvyv and Nosteweh, who seldom bark, have no waggishness, and have got a trick of shewing either their ayes or their noes, when Ornom wishes them, and this is all they are fit for; they are so lazy that they resemble butcher's dogs. Whenever they open their mouth at all, it is either became they expect something, or that they have something offered which they open their mouthy to gulp at. As a foil to theso, there is a precocious and learned pup, who can, from any quantity of Blue books, pick out the number of the clause, section, note, paragraph, or folio, of any act or acts, word or words, quoted or written, created or uncreated, and will go a great way to doit. If he is interrupted in his pursuit, he gives a sort of positive sharp look, as though he would pull you up to a large pointer close by, under whom he sits, and where he can bo seen diligently scratching for a living. This pup has a friend, who is a fat, comfortable-looking poodle, with curly hair. He is a clever clog, understands the genera of dogs bane, knows doglatin, and has studied anatomy in Caledonia. His own articulation I shall make no bones about, but content myself with saying that he is smooth, deep, quiescent and acquiescent to the views of his party. His liberty is great, for he is allowed a run, and his plenty of ground in the township of Kciwner. The best game dog of Ornom is a retriever called Sitruc, but he is sometimes at fault through following his master too closely, when he ought to go on his own track. There are several other dogs of no marked breed, which I need not mention, who have no particular owner, and although sometimes dogmatical seem to have a weaknessfor Ornom. This may be because they have a lively sense of gratitude for favors to come. It is clear they will have to make up their minds soon, for Ornam's maxim is that grab-is a' good dog but hold-fast is better.

" There are two political parties, the Nosniborites and the Ornomites. The first, representing a mild democracy, are in the Licnuoc small in number, generally very cautious, and consequently most correct in their acts, lest the vultures should make a swoop upon them and destroy them. But this they have never done completely yet, as they find they are anything but carrion, although they are game at all times. The Ornomites comprise those who are imbued with effete nomineeism, love of power, dictatorial pride, and intense selfishness. These powers are always at issue, and for the benefit of all future travellers who may not understand the OrnomUes, I will mention two or three things for f heir guidance.

" Ist. When they pass a vote of censure on an unimportant matter, you may be sure that their opponent's conduct has been so meritorious, that they have been reduced to low expedients to effect their object. "2nd. If you find them very rancorous you may consider that their superintendent is not half wicked enough for them, and that they are wrath with him b^cmse he will not join their supper parties and take the place of carver, where he can hand one a bit of favor, a second a slice of compensation, and give another rather more than hia desert. They ought not to loose their temper with such a man, for they know his style of living is different to that, and'that he would only entertain them with a cold shoulder.

"3rdly. If you find that this rancorous feeling is not only loud, but deep, you must be liberalminded, and consider it their greatest virtue, for they are constant, in their unforgiving hatred, which is unconsutnable, invariable, and unrelenting.

"Should you find it. difficult to reconcile this with thfiv seeming honesty, lip patriotism, and fore spoken intentions, believe this historian when he sorrowfully says, that they have a dangerous talent of winning by falsehood, with the force of numbers, those dirty positions which honest men never envy them, and which time patriots despise, and have the towering pride to believe themselves politically infallible because they are occasionally successful in their machinations. Were you to ask them what was the difference between orthodoxy and heterodoxy, they would say, as a well known bishop said,' Orthodoxy, my lord, is my doxy.' Such h their wide way of perverting a meaning. Ornom'B inconsistency is betrayed ia one simple thing.

"He declared that the word lawful meant ■legitimate, and when another meaning suited him better, within twenty-four hours, he declared it meant compulsory. The type of this class is Ornora, who is a bad arithmetician, for in casting up a sum of the people's names, he was beat l>y Nosnibor; and when' the poll closed be was sixteen behind hand, although he had been trying all day to beat him. I shall further shew that this failing in figures is very remarkable whenever they contend with Nosnibor. A doughty Repooh once asserted that in fellowship without time, Nosnibor did wrong in subtraction; a scrutiny was made, when it was found that there was only a few vulgar fractions of minimum loss through some whalers running away and interrupting him while he was satisfactorily employed in the solution of a joint interest account. This unfinished account lay lightly on the Repooh's mind for upwards of ten years. Simultaneous with Ormon's defeat, his memory rankled with the determination of having it settled, and he was instigated to go to law. The result was, that the Repooh was fined 40s. for bis impertinence, and, when too late, he discovered that he had been befooled into a long addition sum, which had been politically subtracted from him by his friends. If he is suddenly called by one of his men saying, ' Mr. Repooh, a friend wants to see you,' he now involuntarily shudders, as the phrase has such an awful import now, as though a long rank and file of £ s. d. were about to enter and annihilate him. Chagrined at these failures, Ornoni brought a reinforcement, and ordered Notxas to make an essay, feeling sure that, with his co-operation, the victory would be certain. Instead of this, through miscalculation and depreciation of their opponent, they were worse olr than .ever, being ,230 behind .at four o'clock, at which

time Nosnibor had ca3t up 681, while ISTotxns had only reached 451. These successive victories of Nosnibor, have naturally enraged Omom, hence the Jailer's hostility • and this is the difference between the Romana and the Ornomik's, that hero

they hate a victorious enemy, .while in Rome they respect him, well knowing it is only the fortuue of war, and that in another campaign, providing.they keep their temper and behave like noble troopa, the conquerers may change places. But I fear they arc not great men, for they are so uncommonly small in adversity. It even interferes with their pleasures, Ornom being ashamed to meet his opponent at a neutral and loyal ball, their relative positions being humiliating to his feelings, and the drinking of Nosnibor's health being gall instead of

wine to him, he and another declined doing so on a late occasion. As there are so many of this tribe to share his overweening and unbending pride, I generally call them the diatribe, because they fill the Licnuoc with their senseless and in? terminable disputation. Though I never saw them intoxicated, I am afraid they are addicted to intemperance* for I often hear them complain sadly of their constitution, and we all know it is a bad case with people when they begin to blame that, for Esculapius saya that it is our own wickedness that brings our constitution into diarepute and danger. ; "• During my stay a comet visited the land, and with the changes concomitant to these dread visitants, it bad wrought great wonders, for a singular delusion had seized the minds of many councillors, accompanied with whattheir doctoi'B call (I believe) an arithmetical stroke. They were ;|§ized' r n-with an hallucination of the* brain, suffering Wrfe--1 'lapse of the old disorder, and they went about raving twice two are two, twice two are two. In vain they were told that in a common sum of addition two and two are four, and so consequently in multiplication twice two will come to the same amount;

but they only anathematised those who taught them right, and went on their way; confounding right and wrong, and braying out their insane convictions. Then seven wise councillors endeavored

has no connection with your paper. Is this true, Sir ? Is it equally true that your journal has avoided the question in those columns wherein your opinion of public matters is expressed ? Did the Colonist not issue a leading mticle about it on the 7th January last. As to my dragging Mr. Willrie's name before the public, if I did so, had I not as much right to name the owner of one section as another? -Why be. so squeamish as to letting the public know who was the present owner of Bradahaw's section ? Whose names not connected with either letter are dragged in by you? What connection have either letter with Major Richmond's patronage of me, as you please to term it ? And when did I ever 'volunteer the services of my "ready pen" in his favor ?

You, Sir, know full well that I have not troubled newspapers with my epistolary correspondence ; and as regards any censorship of the Press you ought, if you do not, to know, that on the contrary, I have always endeavored to furnish any information I< possibly could to the advantage of every party; and far from wishing to interfere with or attempt to control the Press, I have never before replied to many personal insinuations against myself; nor do I ask you to exclude any correspondence on any subject, but what I maintain is, that you should allow every person to have his opiniqri ! without attributing wrong oiv unworthy motives to such as differ from you. If by maintaining this lam a "Censor of the Press," I am sorry for your conclusions.

and two are four, and so consequently in multipli- o ne wor( j moro a bout the sections, which cation twice two will come to the same amount; h & d thig article—may I say my article. &^^"SS?S3artb^ $&Ja& The one following the leader^nentioJ the oriright and wrong, ami braying out their insane con- gmal price of the section; what has the original victions. Then seven wise councillors endeavored price to do with the present ?—does anyone sell to pacify them, and restore a lucid interval, and for the original price? If that were the case, perhaps would have succeeded but that they ag j wo sections were originally chosen in were attended by two doctors, who had only ft , } app i ieß to both . p er haps taken Scotch degrees, and these increased the ' .?%. T r malady, which they ought to have cured. Hear- you were unaware^ of this, or I am sure you ing of the non-Buccpss of the seven councillors, and would not have withheld any facts. Willnes fearing the discredit it would cause to the province —or rather Bradshaw's, if you dislike the forif such an epidemic raged therein, the men of Akeu- mername—was first soldfor .£150; and theone.at torn caused an enquiry to be held touching the symp- present Renwick's, retained as the best, and sold toms of three of their body. They found that one £ him six years ago for £300, and not £50, as acted according to Cocker, and the others not, and * •'^ ° *» . ' ~ - , ,' , they gave a sort of general opinion that the deluded y°» would, by stating part of the facts, lead majority were subject to temporary monomania, your readers to believe, and £700 has been and treated them kindly, because they said that offered long since for the same. I am sorry these men cannot annoy or molest us; they live your informant of the division list did not also furfar away, and for some time have dwelt on the n } B j, you w j tQ t jj o m inutes of the meeting, and &t^"&M^£»&: yo» would then havo known m«. about each Ornom and Sitruc pleaded that numbers of their Person » views on, the subJecfcown bolievers could be found to testify I now pass on to the part which seems to that time or the comet had wrought no change in give you most satisfaction, and which appears tW But a terrible voice then arose, known as b rticle to b0 the cbief source o f annoy . S£TB^?£fe"i&'S#s «y »*« «"•*• * * prociai aggrandise our lands?' Have ye not afflicted us Secretary—though, for the life of me, 1 cannot with your legislative trickery, and now do ye not see what that has to do with the cemetery, try to make a :mockery of common sense? If However, it seems my humble self can afford Sodom and Gomorrah 'depended on you it is no yo u some satisfaction, for which lam as thankwonder that those cities are swallowed up. Be ful ag j nope j oug ij fc to bQ< «jhere is g°« All present then evaporated. With ineffable &\ oW W Or. F"^. I* I**1** "° °°i disgust I then fled the country." where the shoe pinches but the wearer, which